" Ding. Congratulations, you lazy sleepyhead. You got a new log in reward. You received a brand-new Rolls Royce Phantom Solid Gold, you broke idiot. It has been delivered straight to the apartment garage. "
The System snarkily shouts at Feng Lei, while Feng Lei is fast asleep.
" What the fuck, System? I need my rest. You don't have to shout in my ears. "
Feng Lei irritatedly says.
Feng Lei rubs his sleepy eyes awake.
He pushes away his bed covers.
" Good morning, you lazy sluggish turtle. How is your beauty sleep? "
The System sarcastically asks Feng Lei in a snarky tone.
" Will you shut it, System? I need to eat, bathe, and get dressed first. "
Feng Lei says, color rising to his cheeks with annoyance.
" Ah, a Billionaire preparing to do deliveries. Such a dignified work indeed. "
The System mockingly remarks.
" Even a Billionaire has to work and place food on his table. "
Feng Lei snaps and grits his teeth.
" A Rolls Royce Phantom Solid Gold? Do my eyes fool me, man? "
" Nope. That's a Rolls Royce indeed. "
" Do you know how much that model costs? "
" How much, bro? "
" It costs 12 millions dollars, perhaps even more. "
"Wait, what, man? That's expensive. "
" It's expensive because it's a luxury supercar. "
" That's no ordinary luxury supercar. Look closely. That's something fit for long distance deliveries. "
" You're right. Look at those wheels. They have good traction in bad weather conditions. "
" Refrigerated truck delivery drivers will kill to have this kind of ride. "
" Of course they will. It's called delivering in comfort and style. "
" That's no ordinary car, dude. That's the ride of billionaires. "
" Not even our local celebrities can afford that ride, man. "
" Damn it, man, I'm jealous. "
" The same goes with me, bro. "
" I can only afford a used Volkswagen Lavida. And yet Feng Lei buys that supercar like it's nothing. "
" A Volkswagen Lavida? All I can afford is a personnel e-bike. "
" An E-bike? I commute to work and back. "
" Who will possibly order such a luxury car? "
" Who else? It's Feng Lei. "
" Feng Lei? That rich billionaire? "
" It's Feng Lei indeed. Yesterday he splurged 800,000 RMB just for luxury food. Why not this? "
A crowd of onlookers gather around the parked Rolls Royce Phantom Solid Gold.
All of them are Feng Lei's co-tenants, and neighbors from nearby apartment blocks.
And all of them ooh and ahh like idiots, touching the smooth, sleek, gold-plated Rolls Royce Phantom Solid Gold.
They admire the car, instantly feeling jealous of Feng Lei.
" Ding. Congratulations. You dense idiot. You gained 20,000 Face-Slapping Points for making your neighbors jealous. Your total Face-Slapping Points: 83,000, you greedy pig. "
The System snarkily mocks.
Feng Lei almost throws up his hot, expensive cup of premium coffee.
He nearly drops a plate full of Chinese style fried rice, and oven-grilled, pre-marinated Wagyu beef steak on the floor.
" Careful, son. Don't waste that Wagyu steak. I'm not cooking more. "
Feng Lei's mother says as she watches Feng Lei nearly drop the plate.
" Ugh. So authoritative, mother. There are lots in the fridge. Cooking one more won't make a difference. I can afford it. "
Feng Lei says. He dramatically rolls his eyes in protest.
" Will you shut it System, I'm about to eat. Now that I think of it, ordinary delivery clothes won't do. "
Feng Lei says, before he adds, " Can I use my face-slapping points to buy delivery clothes that don't scream delivery man, System? "
" Ding. Request Denied. You already own a Ralph Lauren Store in uptown Shanghai, you lazy fucker. Why waste points? "
The System snarkily scolds Feng Lei.
" Points are meant to be spent, System. It's 7:00 am, for crying out loud. The Ralph Lauren store opens at 9. I'm not gonna brave the traffic just for a pair of pants. "
Feng Lei protests through gritted teeth.
" Ding. Fine then, you lazy delivery boy. Waste all your Face-Slapping Points if you want, then. "
The System snarkily adds.
" I'll buy a whole cabinet full of luxury delivery jackets, luxury designer slim-fit pants, luxury sneakers, luxury delivery shirts , and designer sling bags, System. "
Feng Lei wolfs down half his plate of Chinese style fried rice, and oven grilled Wagyu steak. He downs half his coffee too.
" Ding. Requested Granted, you lazy pig. You eat fast but you balk at hard work. The luxury items have been placed neatly in your bed. Put them aside yourself, couch potato. Face Slapping Points spent: 20,000 Face Slapping Points. "
The System snarkily says.
" Ugh. I don't want to waste my precious time folding a few luxury pants. Do it yourself, System. Install a designer cabinet for me, and a designer waste basket for soiled clothes. Hard work is for poor beggars. I prefer efficiency. "
Feng Lei angrily corrects the System.
" Ding. Request Granted, you lazy dumbass. You're not efficient. You're a walking, talking luxury armchair. Face Slapping Points spent: 10,000 Face-Slapping Points. Remaining Face-Slapping Points: 53,000"
The System mockingly corrects Feng Lei who gnashes his teeth.
" I forgot one thing, too. System. I want to buy a portable food insulator. The most expensive kind. "
Feng Lei says while he looks at his normal food insulator.
He shakes his head incredulously.
It will never do for a billionaire.
" Ding. Request Denied. You still have a food insulator, wasteful idiot. "
The System snarkily scolds Feng Lei.
" I have a food insulator that looks old and unpresentable. I want something that screams class and money, System. "
Feng Lei snaps icily at the System.
" Ding. Requested Granted, you wasteful fool. You have successfully obtained a luxury Ralph Lauren food insulator. Face-Slapping Points Spent: 10, 000 Face Slapping Points. Total Face-Slapping Points left: 43,000. "
The System snarkily mocks Feng Lei.
An hour later, Feng Lei finally appears in the apartment garage.
Feng Lei looks more like a billionaire about to attend a fashion show than a delivery driver.
He's clad in head to toe in Ralph Lauren smart casual, with a Ralph Lauren sling bag slung upon his shoulders.
He carries a luxury food insulator in his left hand.
Feng Lei flashes a perfect wild smile to his fellow tenants and neighbors.
" Look, it's Feng Lei. "
" All hail Young Master Feng Lei. "
" Feng Lei looks handsome. "
" Feng Lei looks cool. "
" He looks more like a runway model than a delivery driver. "
" Are delivery drivers supposed to look cool and hip now? "
" I'm also a delivery driver, dude. But I can barely afford his attire and his car. "
" Barely afford, man? We'll have to bankrupt ourselves. Look at that food insulator. "
" Holy shit dude. That insulator costs a million RMB. "
" A million? It approximately costs 15 million RMB. "
" Look at his attire. It costs more than my yearly salary. "
" Costs more? Look at his car. My salary isn't even one-fifth of his car. "
Fellow tenants and neighbors crowd around.
They gossip among themselves.
They are half awed, and half jealous.
But they make way for Feng Lei as he strides towards his car.
" We greet young Master Feng Lei! "
The onlookers say as they bow their heads in unison and avert their gazes when Feng Lei passes by.
Feng Lei's luxury sneakers click sharply on the garage cement floor.
He lifts his head up, with his back straight.
His tone is sharp, smooth and commanding.
He approaches his Rolls Royce car.
He doesn't fumble with car keys, like other drivers do.
He just sharply says " Hey, Phantom, open up. I have deliveries to do. "
The driver door of his Rolls Royce Phantom automatically opens with a soft hiss.
" Hey, Phantom, set the car to delivery mode. "
Feng Lei says after he sits down in the buttery soft leather seat, while the car windows roll down.
The car door on the driver's side automatically snaps shut.
" Delivery mode set. Activating self-driving mode. Route mapped out to Gourmet Bite Deliveries HQ. "
The Rolls Royce Phantom says in a sleek, mechanical voice.
" Hey, Feng Lei, my electric scooter broke down again last night. Can I borrow your electric tricycle? I can't afford to be late. I have a presentation to make later at corporate HQ. "
A fellow tenant named Li Yuxin, 19 years old, an office worker runs up to Feng Lei before the car zooms out of the garage, purring like a wild predator.
" Here. You can have my electric tricycle. For free, Li Yuxin. "
Feng Lei says with a wink, before the Rolls Royce Phantom roars out of the garage.
" Wait, what? Did he just effortlessly talk to his car? "
" He clearly did. While I have to fumble with car keys. "
" Fumble with car keys? I have to deal with a pin code for my electric scooter. "
" That car has an automatic driving function, I can tell you that. "
" Automatic driving? While the rest of us has to manually drive out on the road? "
" That's unfair, man. "
" Unfair indeed. We have to stay alert while he relaxes en-route. "
" Relaxes? He's not even paying attention while the car drives itself. "
" He's a lazy billionaire. "
" He's an efficient billionaire. "
" Did he just toss his electric car keys to that hot beauty? "
" He just did, man. "
" Damn it. Life's unfair. First a college girl kisses Feng Lei in the lips. "
" Now an office girl casually approaches him and asks for electric trike keys like it's nothing. "
" At this rate he's gonna have a harem of hot ladies, dude. "
" He's rich. That's why he doesn't have to chase girls. It's the other way around. "
The onlookers animatedly say among themselves, livestreaming everything with their smartphones.
Feng Lei pays no mind to them.
He just flashes them a wild, charming and insolent grin.
" Hey, Phantom, set course to the nearest gas station. "
Feng Lei commands his Rolls Royce Phantom with a languid voice.
" Course set. Estimated time before arrival: 10 minutes. Sit back, and enjoy the ride. "
The Rolls Royce Phantom says in a sleek mechanical voice.
Feng Lei listens to loud rock music, not even paying attention to the road.
He places his hands on the steering wheel, pretending to drive.
" Ding. Congratulations, you vain, theatrics loving fool. You gain 50, 000 Face-Slapping Points, you rich, unattentive fuckwit. Total Face-Slapping Points: 93,000. "
The System says in a mocking snarky tone.
" Shut it, System. I'm trying to enjoy the music. "
Feng Lei snaps.
" Ding. I'm not done, absent-minded lackwit. You unlocked a System Quest. Face-slap a rowdy big biker wannabe on the gas station. "
The System adds in cheery, in your face tone.
But Feng Lei is too caught up listening to Holiday by Greenday as he drowns out the System.
It causes loud angry muttering from elderly drivers who pass by.
They say something about noise pollution and rebellious youngsters nowadays.
But Feng Lei is too busy headbanging to care.