Twenty-six years after Hero Himmel's death, in the outskirts of Strahl, the Holy City of the Central Lands.
"Take care of Heiter, Frieren-sama," Fern says. "I'll be back by evening."
"Alright, Fern," I say. "Be careful."
I see Fern off at the door, as usual. Lately, she spends mornings with Heiter and afternoons training. Even my oversleeping self can manage farewells now. Her retreating figure stirs something in me. Human growth is so fast—just five years, and she's so tall. When did she surpass me? Maybe this is how parents feel.
"I'm coming in, Heiter," I say.
I enter his room quietly. There's Heiter, lying in bed—not unusual lately, since he collapsed that day. He spends most of his time like this, cherishing every moment with Fern to leave her precious memories.
"Frieren," Heiter says. "Where's Fern?"
"She went to train," I say. "She's already broken the first rock, but she's still so dedicated."
"Like you, she loves magic," he says.
"I'm more moderate," I say.
I counter his jab, though Fern's moderation differs from mine. He seems in good spirits today.
"Let's leave it at that," Heiter says. "Now… shall we?"
"No need to get up," I say. "It's tough, right?"
"No, I'm really feeling good today," he says. "Besides, you have something to talk about, don't you?"
"…How'd you know?" I say.
"How many years have we lived together?" he says.
He sits up slowly, reading me perfectly. I can't outsmart him. Ten years traveling, fifteen living together—just that, and he knows me so well. No need for tricks.
I reveal a book hidden behind my back, handing it to Heiter. He takes it, puzzled, as if seeing it for the first time.
"What's this?" he says.
"You didn't know either," I say. "Himmel's diary. Dozens more, hidden in the study."
"I had no idea," he says. "Though… Himmel was sneaking around, wasn't he?"
"Very Himmel," I say.
So Heiter didn't know. The culprit's obvious—only Himmel would hide them like that. Too sentimental to discard, too playful to consider they'd be found.
"When did you find these?" Heiter asks.
"When I wailed for three days… five years ago," I say.
"I see," he says. "Read them all?"
"Every page," I say. "Some gaps, but about fifty years' worth."
"I never imagined this," he says, nostalgic. "Neither did Himmel, probably."
I agree. Who knew Himmel was so diligent? His diary spans fifty years—not an autobiography, just a diary after a point. Did he give up, or…?
I read it all in these five years. No, reread it. Over and over.
"Frieren," Heiter says softly, "reading this must've been painful."
He senses my pain, his voice full of concern. I can't meet his eyes. I don't deserve to.
"Yeah," I say, looking down. "I don't know how many times I cried, or almost did…"
Since finding the diary, I've lost count of my tears. Not wanting to worry them, I read at night when they slept. Still, the pain didn't fade.
"At first, I was happy," I say. "I could know the Himmel I missed… but it became sad, painful…"
I thought I'd catch up to everyone by learning about Himmel. I was wrong. I didn't understand the weight of time without me—Himmel's life without me.
In his diary, Himmel lived. Laughing, raging, crying, grieving, laughing again. But I wasn't there. She was. It hurt. I was jealous, regretful. Why wasn't it me? But no—it's my fault.
I recall Himmel's words that day in the capital: wouldn't I stay? Now I see it was his desperate plea. I didn't notice then. If I had, could I have lived those ordinary, precious days in his diary?
Selfish regret. I couldn't stop my tears.
I could've stopped reading. I tried, many times. But I kept going. Because—
"But it wasn't me who suffered most," I say. "It was Himmel."
The real pain was Himmel's, not mine.
Today, I became friends with Aura the Guillotine. No, I want to be her friend. You wouldn't believe me, Frieren.
Aura showed me a flower spell—white, beautiful blooms. It reminded me of the fields from my childhood and our journey. Where are you now, Frieren? Still collecting spells, I bet.
Wrestled with letters again today. Heiter and Eisen are so diligent—unlike you, Frieren. One letter wouldn't hurt, you know. But that's so you.
I gave Aura a Frezier accessory, with the flower of affection. If she understands, maybe we'll be friends. Unlike before, I chose it myself—not randomly like you would've. But a mirror lotus ring? So like her. Eternal love—too grand for her. So I gave it without words. If I'd spoken then, would it have changed anything? No, it wouldn't have reached you. By the time it did, I'd be gone. That'd only hurt you.
Aura found out I love you. So casually, too—how unfair. She even mocked my fifty-year promise. But I know it's my foolish pride, my stubbornness. I want to find you, see you. But I promised you. I have to keep it. You said you'd visit sometimes. It'll be fine—not a hundred years… hopefully.
Ten years since then. Being handsome's getting tough, so I tried a beard for a dandy look. Everyone hates it. Even Linie criticized it. You'd be shocked I have a disciple—a demon girl. You wouldn't believe it. I wouldn't believe you took one either, so we're even.
It's almost fifty years since we parted. Would you recognize me now, an old man? I'm still handsome, so probably. My body's slowing, but you're unchanged, aren't you?
It's so quiet now. A bit lonely. I was blessed before. I have to endure—she's free, traveling. Only half a year since we parted. She'll visit again. The Era Meteor Shower's soon. I've waited for this. Just a little longer. I must keep this promise.
—Frieren, I want to see you again.
Himmel's fifty-year journey, waiting for me. He could've forgotten, spared himself pain. But he waited, loved this heartless me.
It made me happy. But sadder, more painful. He suffered more, hiding it for fifty years. Never telling me during our journey, knowing it wouldn't reach me, knowing it'd hurt me. I was always protected.
By the kindest, most gallant hero, who gave me eternal love. The one I loved.
But not just him. Everyone protected me.
"Sorry… Heiter… everyone waited for me, but I didn't see it… I'm sorry."
Tears fall onto my lap, unstoppable. Selfish apologies, too late. Heiter, Eisen, everyone waited. I missed every chance to notice.
I was scared—of anger, disappointment. Maybe I should've kept silent, forgotten, like before. But I can't. I know their hearts now. So—
"Frieren," Heiter says, "you did well. I'm proud of you."
A warm hand rests on my head. Heiter's kindness, countless times over.
"Why…?" I say, stunned. "I haven't done anything praiseworthy…"
I've only hurt and betrayed them.
"No," Heiter says gently. "You've done something incredible. You caught up to us."
"Caught up…?" I say. "Me…?"
He teaches me with care. I caught up to them. How? I was left behind, never chasing. Yet—
"Yes," he says. "We often talked—Himmel, Eisen, me. Your long life means catching our emotions takes time. A decade's journey might need a century."
They always knew me better than I did. Flamme too—her words: when I make a fatal mistake and want to know people, come back. I finally understand.
"I thought you'd catch up after I died," Heiter says. "But you overturned that. Himmel's legacy and your five years facing yourself did it."
Heiter knows me as well as Himmel. His praise, his recognition—it's overwhelming. My actions aren't forgiven, but still—
"Frieren," he says, "you're truly kind."
"Stop… patting… my head…" I sob.
I can't brush his hand away. I cry like a child, praised by my one human friend.
That was when I truly began walking the same time as them—
"I have to apologize too," Heiter says.
"For what?" I say.
Calmer, I wipe my tears. I have no clue what he means.
"I considered entrusting Fern to Aura before you," he says.
"To Aura?" I say.
"Not that I doubted you'd come," he says. "But I didn't know when I'd collapse. That's when Aura visited."
It's about Fern, now a full-fledged mage, entrusted to me by Heiter. But he'd thought of Aura first. Understandable, but no need to apologize.
"Makes sense," I say. "Even ignoring she's a demon, you did right by Fern. No need to apologize."
"That helps," he says. "But Aura refused."
"Why? Same reason she didn't teach her magic?" I say.
I don't get it. Fern adored Aura, like she did Linie. Aura and Heiter were close. Why refuse? Did she think a demon couldn't raise a human?
"No," Heiter says. "It's your fault. She said, 'You know that elf's title, right? She'll show up when you're near death.'"
An outrageous reason. I freeze, eyes wide. What irony.
"What's that?" I say. "Don't treat me like a grim reaper!"
"Such a cute reaper's welcome," Heiter teases.
"Boorish priest," I retort.
My reaction amuses him, as always. I take it back—he's not kind. Old or dead, he'll always be a boorish priest.
"But her words proved I could trust you," he says. "Take care of Fern, Frieren."
"Don't complain if Aura was better," I say.
I fire back with sarcasm, knowing he'll brush it off.
"Here," he says, returning the diary. "I won't read it."
"You sure?" I say.
"It's for you and her," he says.
I have no reply. I feel the same—this diary is mostly Himmel and her daily life.
"So, Frieren," he says, "deliver it to her. My last request."
He knows without reading. Déjà vu—another recent errand. He entrusts me again.
"You schemed," I say.
"No, no," he says. "This was a happy surprise. Though a miscalculation for Himmel."
I can't outtalk him. Poor Himmel—his diary read by Aura too. No sympathy, though—his fault.
"What if I refuse?" I say.
"Then Fern gets it," he says.
"…Fine, I'll take it," I say.
No choice but to accept. Better me than Fern. I'm her master—not temporary anymore. I have to keep some dignity.
"Tell Himmel and Eisen I said that too," Heiter says. "They'll accuse me of sneaking ahead."
"Got it," I say. "I'll tell Eisen soon. Himmel… might take a while, in heaven."
"Good," he says. "I'll wait with him. It might not take long."
"What's that mean?" I say.
"A surprise," he says.
"Boorish priest," I say.
He toys with me to the end, and I play along, feeling nostalgic. I've moved forward, even if I'll always be left behind. That's fine—I have my role, carrying their memories as the Slayer.
The next day, Heiter departs, watched by Frieren and Fern, to join his friend, Hero Himmel—
"Thank you, Frieren-sama," Fern says. "I could send Heiter-sama off properly because of you."
"Just repaying a debt," I say. "Couldn't clear it, though."
I pour Heiter's favorite liquor on his gravestone. He's probably drinking with Himmel now, getting scolded by Aura.
I place a flower crown on the stone—blue-moon grass, woven by Fern's spell. Like Himmel's, it's Heiter's hometown flower. I remember it now. I won't forget.
"What's next, Frieren-sama?" Fern asks.
"First, the village where Qual's sealed," I say. "Then Eisen's."
"Eisen… Warrior Eisen-sama," she says.
I answer, annoyed it's Heiter's plan but unavoidable. I want to see Eisen, but duty first. Forgive my gloom.
"…Fern, do you want to see Aura?" I ask.
"Of course," she says. "I owe her thanks for the books, and I want to see Linie-sama."
"Alright… no choice then," I say.
More gloom. I needed Fern's push to decide. Fine, let's get it over with. Unpleasant tasks must be done quickly.
The Slayer's journey continues, with a new companion. In her bag, a diary as a guide. On her left ring finger, the mirror lotus shines—
--+--
T/N: Although I'm an inexperienced Editor, I do have a Patreon account! Although it seems like I don't have many supporters right now, my webnovel will be released in full every day, and the advanced chapters will be uploaded to Patreon.
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