Walking down the street, scanning for anything that looked remotely like a phone store. Lee noticed problem number one: she couldn't read a single sign.
"…Right. Forgot I can't read Japanese."
[System: I can translate for you! (＾▽＾)]
Lee blinked. "Wait, you can do that?"
[System: Of course. You never asked before!]
A faint shimmer washed over her vision, and suddenly the once-indecipherable signs rearranged themselves into English. Lee squinted at the nearest one — Discount Pharmacy.
"Oh, wow. You're actually useful" she muttered.
[System: I am extremely useful! (˶˃⤙˂˶)]
She ignored that. Something else was bothering her.
"Kiana spoke to me in English earlier then?"
[System: Kiana is originally from Europe, and is highly fluent in many languages. Your current identity is listed as originally from the United States before moving here with your parents.]
Lee stopped dead in her tracks. "Wait. Parents?"
[System: Deceased. Your savings are from their estate.]
Lee stared at the air in front of her like she could physically glare at the floating text.
"Oh great. Cliché orphan backstory. Just what every protagonist needs."
[System: It was the most narratively convenient option.]
"I have so many questions about how this 'universal identity' thing even works. Like, who signed off on this? Do I have a social security number? School records? Taxes?!"
[System: Please do not question it too deeply. (•ᴗ•)]
Lee dragged a hand down her face. "Fine. Whatever. Just—help me find a phone store before my brain melts."
[System: I can do that! Activating map function!]
[Map Unlocked!]
Available Locations: Chiba Academy (💖 4.5/5), Kiana's House (💖 5/5), Sunny's Crepe Corner (💖 3.5/5), Nagazora Arcade Royale (💖 4/5)...
A translucent map popped up in front of her. It looked promising for about three seconds — then she noticed the icons.
There were several labeled locations: Chiba Academy. Kiana's House. Sunny's Crepe Corner, Nagazora Arcade Royale, Koi Pond Café, Yumeko's Noodle Stand, Homu Amusement Park, each had a score based on how romantic a date spot it was.
Other than that, there was nothing else listed on the map, just blank outlines of buildings.
"…This is useless."
[System: It is optimized for romance progression!]
"Yeah, because that's exactly what I need right now."
Still, she noticed something important — they were only a few blocks from Chiba Academy. At least she had a sense of direction now.
Her eyes narrowed. "Wait. How do you even know where Kiana lives?"
[System: She is the fated romance option of this world! (★‿★) The cute female protagonist that you need!]
Lee nearly choked. "Wait—what?"
[System: The main romance route available to you! Your success with her determines the optimal ending score! (≧▽≦)]
"Wait, wait, wait. Isn't she supposed to end up with Mei?"
[System: She is also a fated romance option. Multiple paths are available! (♡˙︶˙♡)]
Lee pinched the bridge of her nose. "Okay, hold on. Why do I even have a romance system? Who decided this?"
[System: Your social life was pathetically sad. (╥﹏╥)]
Lee glared at the floating text. "Wow. Thanks. Real confidence booster."
[System: (｡•́︿•̀｡) Just being honest!]
"Fine. But since I'm a girl, why are all the romance options girls?"
[System: Please. I know you're a lesbian. (¬‿¬)]
Lee felt her face heat. "Excuse me? I am not a lesbian. I just like attractive people. That makes me bi."
[System: And yet, you find women more attractive than men every single time. (˘‿˘)]
"That's because women are cute! Guys aren't cute!" Lee snapped, then froze. "…Wait. Why am I even arguing with you about this?"
[System: Because I'm right. (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)]
Lee groaned. "Whatever. Back to the point—"
She just stood there for a long moment, staring at the glowing minimap.
"Right. Okay. So, a phone store?"
[System: While I do know everything about the local area, a phone store is too unromantic to be listed on the romance map. (・ω<)]
"Romance map…" Lee sighed. "Perfect. I can find Kiana's house but not a place to buy a phone. Guess I'll just ask around then."
Lee flagged down the first person who didn't look busy and asked, "Uh, excuse me, do you know where I can buy a phone around here?"
They gave her directions with a mildly confused look — probably wondering why she was asking something so basic — but Lee followed them anyway until she found herself standing in front of a store with a bright, blue-and-white logo: HT&T.
Lee squinted at the sign. "Wow. Generic knockoff of AT&T much?"
[System: The H stands for Homu! (≧▽≦)]
Lee froze. "…That actually makes sense. Homu really has infected every single part of this world's culture."
She stared at the logo for another moment, then shuddered. "Yeah, not asking about that. I don't want to know."
Inside, the store looked pretty normal — sleek displays, rows of glowing phones — until Lee realized something horrifying.
"…I don't recognize a single one of these models."
[System: Because this world is different? ( •̀ ω •́ )]
"Yeah, thanks for that, Captain Obvious."
An employee approached. "Looking for a new phone?"
Lee nodded. "Yeah, uh, I don't know what's good. Can you recommend something?"
They smiled and gestured to a display. "Our newest model — the Homu Phone 14 — best battery life, top camera quality, waterproof."
Lee stared at the shiny glass rectangle. "Of course. Homu has its own smartphone line. Why wouldn't it?"
[System: The Homu Phone 14 has 99% satisfaction rate! (o≧▽≦)o]
"Yeah, yeah." Lee sighed and put down the demo phone. "Sure, I'll take one."
The clerk rang it up. "Alright, can I get your client information to register the device?"
"Oh. I… don't actually have a plan with you yet."
"No problem. Would you like to sign up for a phone plan now?"
Lee hesitated, then nodded. Might as well get it over with. They began filling out the form together — until they reached the billing address field.
"Oh. Yeah. I don't actually have one of those."
[System: Just get a PO box or something! ( •̀ᴗ•́ )و]
Lee buried her face in her hands. "I should've had Kiana come with me. Then I could've just used her address and been done with it."
Her eyes flicked to the glowing romance map still hovering faintly in the corner of her vision, with Kiana's house marked like a glowing beacon.
"…Nope. That would be creepy."
"Is it possible to just buy the phone by itself? No plan?"
The clerk shook their head politely. "Sorry, this model is carrier-locked. You can't use it with another provider."
"That's fine," Lee said quickly. "I'll just buy it now and come back to set up the plan later."
After a slightly awkward pause, they let her complete the purchase. Lee stepped out of the store, clutching the Homu-branded bag like it was a trophy.
[System: Congratulations! You are now 3% more integrated into this world! (ﾉ≧ڡ≦)]
"Uh-huh. Great. Now I just need somewhere with Wi-Fi."
She scanned the street, spotting a few cafés nearby. "Preferably one that won't throw me out for sitting there for two hours setting up my entire life."
[System: Might I suggest Koi Pond Café? It has the highest romance rating nearby! (≧ω≦)]
"No. Just… no. I want internet, not romance points."
[System: (╯︵╰,)]
Lee ignored it and started walking toward the nearest place that had a Wi-Fi sign in the window.
The sign read Bitter & Better Coffee.
"Huh. This place seems… normal enough."
She pushed open the door, immediately greeted by the smell of roasted beans and the faint hiss of a milk steamer. It did look normal — wood tables, cozy lighting, customers quietly minding their own business — until she saw the prices.
"…Fourteen bucks for a coffee?" Lee muttered under her breath.
[System: Premium artisanal experience! ☆ ～('▽^人)]
"Yeah, sure, that's what I'd call it."
She ended up ordering the cheapest thing she could find — a single croissant — and retreated to a corner seat. Pulling out her new Homu Phone 14, she started setting it up, swiping through the default screens.
"You know," she said quietly, "you seem way more knowledgeable about this world than before. You were actually useful today. Knowing about Homu, the map, even the phone brands…"
[System: After your little prayer incident earlier, I decided to gather more information about this world! (＾▽＾)ゞ]
Lee raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah?"
[System: Yup! In fact, I am now a certified Honkai: Impact 3rd Captain! (≧◡≦) ♡]
Lee nearly dropped her phone. "…You're what now?"
[System: A captain! I read all the guides, watched the cutscenes, and now I am very well-versed in the meta lore of this world!]
Lee leaned back in her chair, croissant halfway to her mouth. "Okay… have you played Honkai: Star Rail then?"
[System: Not yet! I am still working through the main story of Honkai: Impact 3rd. Gotta finish that first before I move on to the sequel. ( •̀ ω •́ )✧]
Lee blinked. "…You do know it's been, like, an hour since I got here, right?"
[System: Oh, you silly three-dimensional being. (≧▽≦) Time does not flow for me the same way it does for you. Fourth-dimensional entities like myself are not held to such trivial constraints!]
Lee stared at the floating text for several seconds.
"…."
She just didn't have the mental energy to unpack that statement right now and went back to creating digital accounts for her new phone
Lee was still hunched over her croissant and phone when movement at the door caught her attention.
A familiar figure walked in — Kiana, now in a uniform with the words "Homudasher" written on it. Scanning the café, Her eyes landed on Lee immediately.
"You drink coffee here? It's super expensive." Kiana called, striding over.
Lee froze mid-bite. "Uh… I'm just here for the public Wi-Fi," she mumbled, hoping it sounded casual.
Kiana's eyes flicked down to Lee's hands, noticing the new phone. "Is that… your new phone?"
Lee nodded. "Yeah."
Kiana's expression softened. "Mind giving me your number?"
Lee hesitated, then sighed. "I… don't have a phone plan yet."
Kiana tilted her head, unfazed. "If you don't want to share contact info, you can just say so."
[System: Alert! Kiana's feelings toward you decreased by 11 points! Current score: 64. (╥﹏╥)]
Lee blinked. "Wait… why was it so high to begin with?"
A translucent panel popped up before her, showing the score and a tiny chibi Kiana with a thought bubble: "Hehehe, cute girl, smells so good"
Lee shook her head and opened the phone's settings, explaining aloud, "No, really… I don't have a plan. I couldn't get one — I don't even have a billing address."
Kiana's eyes widened slightly. "Wait, does that mean you don't have a place to stay either?"
Lee swallowed. "Yeah…"
There was a brief pause. Then Kiana's expression brightened. "Well, you can stay at my place for now."
Lee raised an eyebrow. "Uh… temporarily?"
Kiana grinned. "Temporarily works."
[System: Romance score increased! Current score: 81. ✧(≖ ◡ ≖✿)]
The thought bubble of chibi Kiana on the system panel updated to: "Hehehe, cute girl pillow for tonight acquired!"
Lee couldn't help but chuckle nervously. "Uh… thanks."
Kiana looked at her phone, then back at Lee. "I can cancel my current delivery job and bring you back to my apartment, if you want."
Lee shook her head quickly. "No, it's fine. You take the job. I'm not going anywhere right now."
Before Kiana could argue further, her phone buzzed. She glanced at it, frowned, and then gave a small groan. "Shoot… this order is running late!"
"Uh-oh," Lee said, ducking behind her phone screen.
Kiana gave her a quick smile. "Be back soon! Don't get into trouble."
And with that, she dashed off, leaving Lee staring at her croissant, her new phone, and the glow of the system interface.