He looked up at Felix and smiled brightly. Under the moonlight, Lowell's eyes shimmered like a lone lighthouse lighting up the darkness. Felix could stop himself—he felt like a ship drawn toward that light. He knew it was all because of the drug, but he couldn't pull his heart away.
Felix scowled at the bulge pressing against his robes.
"Hold on tight."
He said it again. The moment he felt Lowell's grip tighten, he quickened his pace to almost a Sprint. Finally, they reached one of the guest rooms. His hands fumbled once or twice before the door finally opened. He laid Lowell down on the plush bed and took several deep breaths before turning away.
"I'll bring the antidote."
It would be easy to give in to temptation. But resisting—thay was where the true value lay. Felix had long since learned this lesson. Every time he'd let his guard down, enemies waited, knives drawn. His endurance was less discipline and more survival instinct.
"Felix, don't go."
And yet, he couldn't ignore that soft voice calling him— or the hand clutching his sleeve.
"Please... help me."
Lowell's eyes were hazy and unfocused. It was clear which words to heed—those uttered before the drug, not after. And yet Felix hesitated, torn.
"Shh... just hand in there. Once I get the medicine, it'll all be over."
Felix had never even tried comforting a child, let alone another adult. Clumsily, he reached out to stroked Lowell's hair. As a child, he'd watched other kids receive love from their parents with jealous eyes. When he got hurt during sword training, his father would only look at him with disappointment. On days like that, he'd sneak into his room and mimic the voices of other children's parents to comfort himself. Felix recalled those memories as he gingerly touched Lowell.
"Can't you.... just hold me?"
Lowell's eyes glistened with tears. His mind had likely abandoned him the moment the heat took hold. It was miracle he'd stayed lucid this long—no one could blame him.
"Felix.... save me..."
Lowell rubbed his face into Felix's hand, pleading. Jewel-like tears streamed down his cheeks, and Felix was hit with a crushing wave of self-loathing.
"Just a little more. Hang on."
But even as he said it, Felix's body was already climbing onto the bed. The pheromones he'd been holding back now spilled out wildly, flooding the room. Lowell let out a short, shuddering breath, as if he couldn't take it anymore.
"I can't... I can't hold on..."
Felix cursed under his breath—and kissed him. Lowell's soft, sweet tongue responded immediately, as if it had been waiting.
Felix's hands trembled slightly as he undressed him. He knew that if he let himself relax even for a second, he might end up doing something unforgivable to a body that wasn't ready.
"Ah... hurry, I'm so hot... My head...ngh, it's like it's breaking..."