For the first time in a while, determination burned in him. Meanwhile, Felix was starting to grow visibly anxious. He finally realized that Lowell didn't like his castle.
"You don't like the castle?"
Felix asked the question with extreme caution. The attendants nearby flinched hard, then quickly lowered their heads. Several had to bite back screams at the unfamiliar sight of nervously gauging someone's reaction.
Lowell considered offering his usual gentle smile reassurance—but changed his mind. Some situations called for shock therapy. And this was definitely one of them.
"Yes."
Lowell replied flatly. Felix's pupils dilated wide, then slowly narrowed again. His eyes darted back and forth as if he couldn't focus.
"I designed it to be the most suitable environment for my research. It's not the glamorous Capital. If you don't like it, you're free to cancel the engagement and leave."
But even as he said the words, Felix looked like the world would end of Lowell actually left. He already seemed to regret saying it.
"So...what exactly don't you like about it?"
Judging by his timid voice, Felix seemed willing to change anything. The attendants buried their heads even deeper. Ignoring everyone else, Lowell delivered his verdict.
"It's too dark. The most important thing for a home is sunlight. First, sunlight. Second, sunlight."
Lowell was about to say "depression patients", but changed it to "home" instead. He wasn't sure if the concept of depression even existed in this world—and even if it did, Felix wouldn't understand.
"As I said, this isn't Phoebos. Sunlight is rare here. You have to adapt to that to live here."
"Exactly!"
Lowell became even more agitated. Felix raised a brow as if asking what Lowell was trying to say.
"Since sunlight is rare here, why block it out with blackout curtains?!! You're shutting out the precious little sun you do get! The mood is already heavy, and this is bad for your health."
The moment Lowell mentioned health, Felix visibly faltered. He didn't know much about the relationship between sunlight and well-being, but since the word "health" had come out of Lowell's mouth, he couldn't ignore it.
"Then....we can change the curtains. Would that fix it? Let the sunlight in?"
Hearing that, Lowell realized that asking Felix to change the atmosphere of the castle himself would be pointless.
He didn't even realize this environment was strange. What good would that do?
Which meant it had to be him.
*No. Leave the interior to me."
"You're pregnant. You need to rest. Let someone else handle it."
Lowell shook his head immediately, leaving now room for argument.
"It needs to be an environment where I can rest. As it is now, there's no way to feel comfortable."
Felix closed his mouth. Lowell was normally gentle and accommodating, so when he pushed back forcefully, Felix had no idea how to handle it. He could only be dragged along by the current.
"Alright. Fine."
In the end, Felix had no choice but to agree.
"But first, let's eat. You didn't have lunch, did you?"
Felix led the way toward the dining room, pulling along a still-fuming Lowell who kept eyeing the castle like he was mentally redecorating it already. When Lowell refused to budge, Felix even threatened to remove his earlier permission if he didn't eat something. Though reluctant, Lowell could tell he wasn't bluffing and quietly followed.
This could be a problem.
Only then did something start to bother Lowell. His morning sickness had worsened again. The mere sight of food now made him gag. He'd already vomited several times after forcing himself to eat just a bit.
"Ugh."
This time was no different. Even the appetizer, which had almost no smell, made him clamp his hand over his mouth the moment it hit the table. Felix stared at him with dim, unreadable eyes.
"Didn't you say you were getting better?"
Lowell had lied in his last letter before leaving for the territory, claiming his morning sickness had improved and that he was eating well. It had been a foolish impulse, triggered by guilt over how much Felix had been worrying.
Some naive part of him had even hoped his symptoms might magically disappear once they arrived in Nyx.
Of course, that had been a hopeless fantasy.
"T-That was..."
Felix's eyes, looked on Lowell now drenched in cold sweat, were cold.