"What? Do I have something on my face?" Julie asks, patting her cheeks with a suspicious glance my way.
"No, no," I say, not taking my eyes off her. There's something in her expression that makes me think she's hiding something, and I don't know why it's got me so curious.
We're at a café on campus, near Tresidder Memorial Union, after class. I just finished my shift at The Coffee House, and for once, I've got a moment of peace with a sandwich in front of me, even if it's from the competition. Yeah, I know, but I'm not eating where I work all the time. The place is buzzing with students chatting, the smell of coffee hanging in the air, but our little corner table is a refuge from the noise.
"It's like I've got something on my face, or… I don't know, do I owe you something?" Julie says, narrowing her eyes with a playful smirk. "Wait, if I remember right, I already paid you back those last twenty bucks I borrowed."
I set my sandwich down on the tray and lean in, lowering my voice. "Were you making out with Joe at the hazing party?"
Her eyes go wide. The drink she's sipping goes down the wrong pipe, and she starts coughing, smacking her chest. I sit there, arms crossed, waiting as she tries to pull herself together.
"How the hell do you know that?" she says between coughs, looking at me like I just uncovered a state secret. "Did you see us?"
"Nah, I don't remember much from that shitty night. Just the worst parts," I say, pressing my lips together as I flash back to the humiliation of the hazing, being forced to yell I'm gay, and then Noah with his damn proposal.
"But… you did, right?" I press, locking eyes with her. "Did that night go further than just kissing?"
"No. Not that I remember," she says, calming her cough. "We were drinking, and then we ran into each other. I wasn't planning on hooking up with anyone, but Joe… damn, he looked hot. It wasn't planned, but we ended up kissing. I think he grabbed my boob, but that was it. Then all the chaos happened, and it killed the vibe. Why do you care?" she adds, eyeing me curiously as she sips her drink.
"Oh, well, it's just… yesterday at the café…" I trail off, shrugging. I don't want to tell her Noah dropped the Joe-and-Julie thing like a bomb to distract me while trying to sell his stupid plan. And I definitely don't want to mention that Joe seemed into Jackson. That might've just been in my head.
"Alright, spill," she says, switching gears with a sly grin. "What about you?"
"What do you want me to say?" I reply, taking a bite of my sandwich, trying not to think about Noah and his smug-ass face that pisses me off.
"For starters, you could tell me if you're finally joining Alpha Centauri," she says, leaning in with that look that says she knows more than she's letting on.
I stare at her for a second, caught off guard. "How do you know about that?" I ask, though I already know Julie's got a sixth sense for gossip.
"Hey, don't give me that look. You know I'm a pro at finding shit out without trying," she says, her eyes sparkling. "I heard Joe… went to drop off your ring yesterday."
"So, Joe, huh?" I say, raising an eyebrow. It's weird. I don't get what Joe's deal is. Yesterday, when I saw him leave The Coffee House with Jackson, I thought there was some vibe there. But now it turns out he was making out with Julie at the hazing party. And he's still in touch with her, apparently. What the hell's going on? As long as he doesn't drag Jackson into it, I guess it's not my problem.
"I don't know yet," I say finally, glancing at my sandwich. "Maybe I'll think about it."
"It's a good opportunity for you. At least this time," Julie says, sipping her drink. "New friends, parties, a place to fit in. It's not so bad, you know."
"And why didn't you join when you had the chance?" I shoot back, glancing at her sideways. "From what I heard, Delta Kappa Delta was really into you."
Julie sighs, and for a moment, her gaze drifts, like she's remembering something heavy. "I didn't want to join a sorority after all. Back then, I was a mess with my grandma's stuff, and I didn't have the headspace to deal with frat responsibilities. I guess I let the chance slip, but whatever, you can't change the past. Besides, I've got plenty of friends. And I've got you two."
"Thanks for including me," I say with a half-smile. "Hope I'm not just the backup friend."
"Maybe you are," she says with a wink. "But at least you're a deluxe backup. I can promise you that."
I laugh, shaking my head. Julie always knows how to make me smile, even when my head's a fucking mess. But I can't stop thinking about Noah, that idiot who showed up at The Coffee House yesterday with his shitty smirk and his "one macchiato" like he didn't ruin my life at the party.
****
The rest of the week's been a fucking nightmare. The Coffee House at Tresidder has been slammed, and apparently, it's my damn fault. Rose, my boss, is thrilled with the cash rolling in, but I'm drowning in work. I'm not complaining about the extra money, but, fuck, I barely have the energy to drag myself to bed and pass out. The only thing keeping me sane is that I haven't had to deal with Noah again.
The last time that idiot showed up at the café, running his damn mouth, all he did was piss me off and make me nervous. He's still on about this "boyfriend" bullshit, but it's obvious it's not for the right reasons—not the ones that might… I don't know, matter to me. Noah's a trainwreck. Fine, I'll admit it: maybe I'm a little attracted to him, with that smug face and those eyes that, damn it, I can't stop thinking about. But that's it. Every time he opens his mouth, he reminds me he's a grade-A asshole.
For now, keeping him at a distance is the plan. That means steering clear of Alpha Centauri and their free tutoring. If the café stays this busy, I might scrape together enough to pay for private tutoring, even if it costs me a kidney. One hour a week could pull me out of the academic hole I'm in. Until then, I'll keep working until my body gives out.
I'm about to close up, wiping down the counter with the café nearly empty, when a female voice snaps me out of my thoughts. "Well, look who we have here. The sexy pledge everyone's talking about."
I look up and see Amber, the Delta Kappa Delta president, strolling in with a smile that's more dangerous than friendly.
"What are you doing here?" I ask, trying to sound chill as I keep cleaning.
"This place is getting famous lately," she says, leaning on the counter with an air of knowing more than she lets on. "Had to see what all the hype's about."
"Oh, so you came for me," I say with a half-smile. "Didn't think I'd see you here."
"There's a first time for everything," she replies, winking. "At least I can confirm who the buzz is about. You know there are videos of you everywhere, right?"
She laughs and shows me a video on her phone. It's me, streaking naked across campus during the hazing, with someone zooming in way too much on my ass. Fuck, that day was a total disaster.
"You've got a nice butt," she says, her tone teasing. "Noah's got a point there."
"Great, you heard that too?" I sigh, rolling my eyes.
"Oh, come on! Don't get mad!" She leans closer to the counter, grinning. "I know you're closing, but maybe you can make an exception for me. I really want to see how good your cappuccinos are."
Her tone's so warm I can't say no. I end up making the damn cappuccino, even though I just want to go home.
"It's delicious," she says after a sip, giving me a nod of approval. "You really know how to work that machine."
"Thanks. I was a mess at first, but I've got the hang of it now," I say, shrugging.
"I heard about what happened at the party," she says, suddenly more serious.
"Which part?" I ask, tensing up.
"All of it," she replies, meeting my eyes.
"Then you're well-informed. Thought you were there," I say, trying to keep it light.
"Couldn't make it. Had stuff to do at the Delta house. Nothing you need to worry about now," she says with a vague smile. "Sorry about Sarah, Ethan."
"Yeah, me too," I mumble, lowering my voice.
"Don't hold it against her," Amber says, her tone softening. "She's impulsive sometimes. She's going through a rough patch, and that explains some of her behavior. There might be some truth to the rumors about her, but… she's a good person, trust me. We all fuck up sometimes. When we're most vulnerable, we do the dumbest shit."
"Like Noah that night," I joke, trying to lighten the mood.
Amber laughs. "They say he left more than a few jaws on the floor. Even the girl he was with ran off when she heard him shout he wanted to date you."
"At least he got attention," I say with a bitter smile.
"So, what's the deal with you and him? Was he serious about asking you out?" she asks, eyeing me curiously.
"Hell no, he's an asshole," I snap, crossing my arms. "I don't know what the fuck he's up to, but I'm not buying his act."
"Maybe you're right," she says, thoughtful. "I doubt he went from chasing pussy to dick overnight. Last year, he was desperate to ask me out. I was tempted to say yes, but with his heartbreaker rep, I'd rather not be another notch on his belt. Still, I don't know, he's not a bad guy. He's gotta be up to something to pull a stunt that reckless."
"All I know is I wanted to punch his face," I admit, clenching my fists as I picture his smug grin.
"Don't worry, I got a little revenge for you," Amber says, winking with a mischievous smile.
I can't help but laugh. Talking to Amber is easier than I expected. "So, you're gay," she says, looking at me with genuine curiosity.
"Yeah, it's true," I reply without hesitation. "Not something I'm trying to hide."
"Sucks that they made you shout it to the world," she says, wincing with empathy.
"Totally agree," I say, sighing. "It was a fucking disaster."
"Come here," she says, gesturing toward me.
Without thinking, I step out from behind the counter. It's weird, but I move almost on instinct, like her voice has a pull. And then, out of nowhere, she leans in and kisses me on the lips. Holy shit, I didn't see that coming. The kiss is soft, deep, her lips like a damn dream. But when she pulls back, I'm frozen, probably red as a tomato.
"Well?" she asks, raising an eyebrow with a curious smile.
"Fuck, that was unexpected," I manage to stammer, still dazed.
"Feel anything?" she presses, leaning in slightly.
I stare at the floor, at my feet, and mutter, "Something's supposed to react, but… nothing. Not a damn tingle."
"What a letdown," she says, laughing. "There goes my perfect record of causing boners."
We both crack up, and for a second, I forget the chaos of my life.
"Alright, let's make this our thing," she says, still grinning. "Kisses to say hi and bye?"
"Kisses?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah, our signature. Since you don't feel anything, maybe you can make someone jealous," she says with a wink.
"I'll allow it, miss," I say, laughing.
"Alright, I'm out," she says, grabbing her bag. "By the way, the cappuccino was killer. I'm telling everyone about this place."
"Great, more work for me!" I joke, shaking my head.
"See ya, Ethan," she says, heading for the door. But she stops and turns. "Oh, and about Alpha Centauri… I think you should say yes. They're good guys, even Noah, with all his bullshit. It'd be good for you. Think about it, Ethan."
She leaves, and I'm alone, wiping down the counter in silence. Amber's right about one thing: I need to think about the frat. But Noah… fuck, I don't know what to do with him. I want to deck him, but, damn it, I can't get his stupid smirk and those eyes out of my head. What am I thinking? He's an asshole, and I'm not falling for whatever game he's playing. But what if there's more to his proposal? No, I'm not letting him get in my head.
****
All week, I've been wrestling with the idea of joining the frat. Julie, Amber, even Jackson—they're all right: it's a good opportunity. And, damn it, I need it. Free tutoring would save me a fortune, and maybe I could get some actual rest instead of collapsing like a zombie every night. Hell, maybe I could even get back into football, I don't know, something to stop feeling like the walking dead all the time.
After thinking it over a thousand times—and after talking to Amber, who, fuck, was like a breath of fresh air—I get why everyone loves her. She's not just gorgeous; she's sharp and has this vibe that pulls you in. Even Noah's crazy about her, he said so himself, and honestly, I don't blame him, even if he's still an asshole.
So, after all the back-and-forth, I decided they're right. I ran that damn race, made it in the top six, and earned my spot. I'm in.
I talked to Rose this morning to tell her I can't keep working full-time at The Coffee House. The café's been a madhouse, and while Rose is thrilled with the cash flow, she got that my studies come first. She offered me a part-time schedule and said she'd find someone to cover the rest. One less thing to stress about.
Back at the dorm, I started packing to move into the Alpha Centauri house. When I zipped up the last suitcase, I turned to Jackson, who was helping me, and half-joked, "Hey, if I go crazy in this place and off myself, just know it's your fault. You got me into this shit."
Jackson laughed, shaking his head. "Alright, help me with these bags," I said.
Together, we headed to the frat house. The walk felt endless, my nerves eating me alive. I had no idea how the guys would react after the stupid party and the hazing mess. But when I walked through the door, it was nothing like I expected. The guys were… nice. They greeted me, welcomed me, even showed me to my room.
Jackson was as shocked as I was. He helped me drop my bags in my new room, which is huge: a massive closet, a queen bed, and a window overlooking Campus Hall. Never thought I'd live in a place like this, even if it's just for a while.
"Hey, looks like you moved in," Joe says, popping up with a grin. "Glad you decided to come around."
"They convinced me. I earned this spot," I say, shrugging.
"And he's already blaming me if something goes wrong," Jackson cuts in, laughing.
"Guess you'll have to take responsibility for your buddy after all this time together," Joe says, clapping Jackson on the shoulder. "Like I do with Noah's crazy ass, right?"
"Touché," Jackson says, chuckling.
"Hey," Joe says, looking at me, "we're playing pool downstairs. Wanna join?"
"I should probably finish unpacking and settling in," I say, gesturing to the bags.
"Can I come?" Jackson asks Joe, his eyes lighting up.
Joe grins and says, "Sure, follow me."
"Watch yourself, Jackson," I say, half-serious, half-joking. He gives me a confused look, nods, and heads off with Joe. I don't know what the hell's up with those two, but after what Julie told me about Joe kissing her at the party and that weird vibe I caught between him and Jackson, I'm keeping an eye out.
I start unpacking, hanging clothes in the closet and stacking books on the desk. I'm almost done when I hear the door shut behind me. I turn, and there he is—fucking Noah Whitman, with that smug face that drives me up the wall.
"I need to talk to you," he says, his tone serious in a way that doesn't suit him.
"What the fuck do you want? I don't want to talk to you. Get out," I snap, but he doesn't budge and steps closer with purpose. I take a step back, feeling the tension rise.
"Listen, Ethan," he says, raising his hands like he's trying to calm me. "I know our run-ins have been shit, and I'm sorry. Just let me explain, alright?"
"Explain what?" I shoot back, crossing my arms. "I don't want your excuses. Get lost, or I'm getting Morgan."
Noah lets out a dry laugh. "Please, can't you fight your own battles, Bennett? Besides, Morgan's not here. I've been dealing with the dean over the party mess. Feel bad for him."
"Get out, Whitman, I'm serious," I insist, my anger spiking.
"Look, if you'd just let me explain why I pulled that stupid stunt at the party and why I'm still pushing this," he says, stepping closer.
He's got a point. I want to know what's going on in that head of his, even if it's just to figure out why he pisses me off so much. And, damn it, his good looks make it worse. I swore I'd never fall for an arrogant prick like him, but here I am, pulse racing.
"Fine, talk," I say grudgingly.
"Listen," Noah says, stepping so close the sunlight from the window makes his eyes glow like a fucking problem. "For reasons that aren't worth getting into now, and you probably don't care about, I'm broke. I barely have enough to cover my expenses, that's it. I don't have access to my family's accounts or my trust fund. It's complicated, don't ask. Point is, I'm fucked. I don't have money for next semester."
"Seriously?" I say, incredulous. "Your family's one of the richest in the country. How are you broke?"
"That's the problem," he insists, his voice desperate. "My family's rich, not me. If they cut me off, I'm screwed. I tried getting a scholarship, but there were no spots left except one: the diversity and inclusion program. Since I can't fake being Native, Latino, or Black, I figured pretending to be gay was my only shot to apply and save my studies."
I'm stunned. "What the fuck are you saying? Are you serious?" I stammer, rage boiling up like lava.
"Look, Ethan!" he presses, stepping even closer. "I know it sounds awful, but I'm desperate. You don't get anything out of it now, but I swear, when I get my trust fund back, I'll make it worth your while. Just say yes."
"Whitman!" I yell, ready to explode. "Do you have any idea how stupid and dangerous this is? It could be fucking illegal! And you want to use me like some damn puppet?"
"I'm desperate, Ethan," he pleads, lowering his voice. "I know it could have consequences, shit, consequences that could screw you over too. But you could benefit," he adds, with a calm that pisses me off more. "I'll make it worth your while if you help me. Hell, if you want, we can even have sex."
"What?" I say, dumbfounded. "What the hell did you just say?"
"Yeah," he says, with a coldness that chills me. "I've never been with a guy, never thought about it, but if that's what it takes, I'll do it. That's what Viagra's for…"
I don't know how it happened, but my fist was already moving. The rage, the humiliation, it all erupted. My hand connected with his face, and Noah hit the floor with a thud that echoed in the room. Holy shit, I thought, frozen. What the fuck did I do? I just punched the son of one of the most powerful guys in the country! This isn't gonna end well.
Noah's on the ground, blood on his lip, looking at me with a mix of shock and something I can't read. I'm panting, my heart racing.
The door flies open, and Chris storms in, looking ready to kill. "What the fuck did you do, Bennett?" he roars, charging toward me.
Noah, still on the floor, scrambles up, grabs his arm, and yells, "Stop, Chris! This is my fault. I'm sorry. Forgive me."
He shoves Chris toward the door, and they're gone fast, the door slamming shut behind them. I'm left alone, shaking, adrenaline pumping, a knot in my stomach.
It was all a fucking game. I'm such an idiot for thinking, even for a second, that Noah might've felt something real. How stupid was I? I'm pissed, disappointed, but, fuck, mostly at myself for letting his pretty face, his hundred-dollar hair, and those damn blue eyes fool me. What a shitty day.