Ah, dear reader.
Back again, huh?
I'm impressed.
Either you're addicted to my charming personality,
or you just have nothing better to do with your life.
Don't worry, I won't judge.
…Okay, maybe a little.
Anyway, welcome to today's episode of
"Haru Accidentally Builds a Superpower Kingdom While Roasting the Audience."
Grab a snack.
This one's going to be sharp—literally.
Cornalis and I set off at dawn,
leaving my hardworking goblins behind to build houses,
food storages,
and (most importantly)
a king-sized bath for my delicate skin.
The forest path stretched ahead,
fog curling like ghostly noodles.
Birds chirped in some unknown language that probably translated to:
"Look at these idiots walking into danger."
We walked in silence,
which was fine by me.
Cornalis wasn't exactly a small-talk kind of demon.
Thirty minutes in,
we heard it.
A soft sobbing.
There, under a gnarled tree,
sat a girl.
Torn clothes.
Dusty hair.
The kind of tragic look that would make any decent hero rush in to comfort her.
Naturally, I…
kept walking.
"What?" you gasp.
"What kind of protagonist ignores a crying girl?!"
This kind, dear reader.
Listen—
I've played enough games to know the script.
Random crying stranger in a monster-infested forest?
That's either bait, a cursed spirit, or a side quest that smells like trouble.
Cornalis glanced at me.
"My lord, shall we—"
"Nope," I interrupted.
"Not today, Butler-kun.
I'm not falling for the 'mysterious waif' DLC."
The girl's soft whimpers followed us as we walked away.
Chilling.
Suspicious.
And definitely someone else's problem.
Yeah, yeah, boo me if you want.
But when she turns into a spider demon in Chapter 19,
remember who warned you first.
After a total of thirty-five minutes (yes, I counted—deal with it),
the forest thinned.
The air grew warmer,
tinged with the smell of charcoal and iron.
And there it was.
The Oni base.
Now, when I say "base,"
you probably imagine some barbaric camp with skulls on spikes, right?
Ha.
Wrong.
This place looked like…
a hidden mountain village straight out of an anime artbook.
Elegant wooden halls.
Stone paths lined with glowing lanterns.
Waterfalls singing in the distance.
"Oni live like this?!" I muttered.
All those years of games had lied to me.
Where were the ugly horned brutes swinging clubs?
Where were the roaring fires and savage drums?
Instead, I saw graceful figures with crimson horns,
each one moving like a trained warrior-dancer.
And—
this part hurt my pride—
every single one of them had more style points than me.
"You appear… surprised, my lord," Cornalis said calmly.
"No kidding," I whispered.
"These guys look like they came out of a deluxe gacha banner."
The Oni leader stepped forward.
Tall.
Broad-shouldered.
Flaming red hair tied back in a warrior's knot.
His long katana gleamed in the lantern light.
"Akagiri," he announced,
voice deep enough to vibrate my soul.
"Leader of the Crimson Moon Oni.
But some… call me Rengoku."
Rengoku.
Like that Rengoku from Demon Slayer.
I almost laughed.
Almost.
Instead, I whispered to Cornalis,
"If he starts screaming 'Set your heart ablaze,'
I'm suing someone for copyright."
Akagiri's amber eyes narrowed.
"Who among you wields power enough to challenge me?"
Cornalis adjusted his cuffs,
bowing slightly.
"My lord permits me to answer this invitation."
And just like that,
the air turned electric.
They faced each other in the center of a wide stone courtyard.
Akagiri drew his katana in a single fluid motion—
shiiing—
the sound slicing through the night like a perfect ASMR moment.
Cornalis, of course, didn't bother drawing a weapon.
Because why make things fair?
The fight began with a blur of steel.
Akagiri lunged,
katana flashing like falling stars.
Cornalis dodged with casual steps,
each movement so smooth it was like watching someone avoid puddles in slow motion.
Akagiri slashed again.
Again.
His strikes carved glowing arcs in the air.
And Cornalis?
Still immaculate.
Not a single thread out of place.
The Oni around us cheered,
their voices echoing through the courtyard.
"Wow," I muttered, leaning toward you, reader.
"Akagiri's sword is faster than your Wi-Fi.
And my butler is dodging it like it's just bad lag."
Akagiri paused,
panting slightly,
horns glowing a faint red.
"This is… unexpected," he admitted.
Then his aura flared—
crimson fire igniting along his blade.
The air crackled.
The stone floor hissed.
"Oh boy," I said.
"Buff phase.
Classic boss move."
He charged again.
The katana moved faster than before,
each strike a burning comet.
This time,
tiny cuts appeared on Cornalis' coat.
Threads snapped.
Fabric tore.
The crowd roared.
Finally, some action!
But here's the kicker—
not a single drop of blood.
Because my butler is apparently built like a cheat code.
Cornalis sighed,
as if annoyed at the inconvenience.
"Very well," he said softly.
"Permit me to respond in kind."
Then—
whoosh.
Before anyone could blink,
he stepped forward once,
a shadow blur,
and the katana went flying into the air.
Akagiri froze,
his weapon now lodged harmlessly in the stone wall behind me.
Cornalis straightened his jacket.
"My apologies for the damage to your courtyard."
The Oni warriors fell silent,
staring at Cornalis like he'd just rewritten the laws of physics.
Akagiri lowered his head.
"A flawless defense… and an attack I could not see.
Truly, you are worthy."
Cornalis stepped back gracefully,
letting me, the actual king, take center stage.
I cleared my throat,
trying to sound like someone who hadn't just watched his servant solo a boss fight.
"People of the Crimson Moon," I began,
"your skills, your discipline, your… fancy architecture—
all of it is impressive.
And I'll be honest.
I need you."
Gasps rippled through the crowd.
"I'm building a kingdom," I continued,
"and I intend to make it the greatest civilization this world has ever seen.
I offer alliance, trade, and a seat at the top of a rising power.
Join me,
and together we will create something even stronger than legends."
Cornalis gave the tiniest approving nod.
(Which basically meant: good speech, my lord, but stop sweating.)
Akagiri studied me for a long, quiet moment.
Finally, he smiled—
a sharp, proud warrior's grin.
"Your butler's strength is proof enough.
Your ambition… intrigues me.
We will send our best to serve this 'Kingdom of Dravemire.'"
Cheers erupted.
Eight of their mightiest stepped forward—
warriors, strategists, even a healer with silver horns.
Eight out of sixteen.
Half their elite force.
Not bad for a dead gamer with a mossy throne, huh?
As we left the Oni village,
the eight chosen followed in disciplined formation.
Their horns caught the moonlight like crimson crowns.
My system chimed happily.
> [System]: Population +8
Total Population: 68
[System]: +200 EXP Bonus – "Elite Recruitment"
I grinned so wide my face hurt.
Sixty-eight people.
A goblin army.
An Oni strike team.
And a butler who could solo a raid boss while adjusting his sleeves.
"Reader," I whispered under my breath,
"are you keeping up?
Because my kingdom is growing faster than your excuses for not doing homework."
Cornalis walked beside me,
his coat patched but spotless.
"My lord," he said quietly,
"our forces strengthen.
Your vision approaches reality."
"Reality?" I smirked.
"No, Cornalis.
This is better than reality.
This is patch 2.0 of my afterlife—and I'm winning the update."
The forest swallowed us once again,
lantern light fading behind.
The Oni moved like silent flames,
their presence humming with raw power.
I thought about the crying girl we'd passed earlier.
Was she still there?
Probably.
But now, with eight elite warriors and a demon butler at my side,
I almost felt…
invincible.
Almost.
Because deep inside,
some tiny part of me whispered that the real game—
the hidden bosses,
the mysterious priestess on the cliff,
and whatever this world was planning—
had only just begun.
But hey,
why worry?
I have eight new party members
and a reader who can't stop turning pages.
Life is good.
For now.