Chapter 21
Joe's POV.
I slumped onto a leather ottoman in the far corner of the living room, the bass from the DJ booth rattling my chest.
Empty red cups littered the coffee table in front of me, and the glow from string lights gave everything a half-dreamy haze. I took a slow sip of beer, one of many tonight, trying to dull the itch in my skull.
I'd come to Kyle's party at the last minute, hoping a change of scene would settle my thoughts. But here I was, worse than before, dizzy with shame and longing. I scanned the crowd for Lily, but she was nowhere in sight. Every time I glanced across the room, my heart lurched, expecting to see her laughing in some corner… only to find strangers instead.
Two of my teammates plopped down beside me, Kyle and Jamal, flanked by two giggling girls in crop tops and mini skirts. They fanned themselves with their hands, eyes glittering as they eyed me.
"Joe, you good, man?" one of my teammates asked, clapping me on the shoulder.
"Never better," I muttered, the words empty as I stared into my glass.
He disappeared into the crowd, and I felt my gaze wander again. I was searching for Lily, like a damn addict looking for a hit. I'd been at this party for nearly an hour, hoping she'd show. Hoping I could catch her alone.
My friends had brought girls my way, one after another, gushing and flirting. Normally, I'd eat that up, bask in their attention. Tonight? I hardly had the energy to look at them.
"Hey, Joe," one of them cooed, hands on my arm.
"Hey," I replied flatly, my eyes already roving elsewhere.
Jamal waggled his eyebrows. "You want a dance? These ladies have been waiting for you."
The taller girl, with blonde hair and a bold red lip, leaned forward. "Come on, Joe. We can show you a better time than those scrubs on the dance floor."
I stared at them, my thoughts on Lily, her shy smile after rehearsal, the way her hair fell across her cheek. I couldn't muster more than a half grin.
"Thanks, but I…" I began, then sipped my beer. The bitter taste grounded me. "I'm good."
They exchanged a look and shrugged, retreating to the snack table. The girls drifted away, disappointed but undeterred.
I closed my eyes, rubbing my temples. The buzz of conversation blurred into the steady thump of bass. I'd thought distance would ease the ache, but distance only made it sharper.
And then I saw her.
Across the crowd, Lily was laughing, her face bright, her hand brushing Mark's arm as she stood with him and his friends across the room. The sight was like a punch to my gut. Even worse was the way she looked so… relaxed. Happy. Happy without me. She wore a simple black dress tonight, hair loose around her shoulders. She looked… radiant.
My breath caught. Every instinct screamed to bolt across the room, claim her in my arms, demand her attention. But I stayed seated, my heart hammering too hard for words.
Mark said something in her ear and she smiled, then glanced up, and for a fleeting moment, our eyes locked.
My heart kicked up as I held her gaze. But instead of softening like they usually would, her eyes were blank. Almost disgusted. She looked right through me before turning back to him.
A familiar song slowed its way through the speakers, casting a hush over the dance floor. The DJ slowed the track to a sultry beat, R&B dripped through the speakers.
"Dance with me," I saw Mark say as he reached for her hand. Lily hesitated, glancing around, but she gave him a small nod and followed him into the throng of dancers.
My hands balled into fists as I watched them, my drink forgotten. Lily let him pull her close, her hands on his shoulders as they began to move in rhythm with the slow melody. And then, as if to make sure I was looking, Mark bent to whisper something in her ear, making her laugh, the sound light and carefree. Lily's hands slid to his neck as she rested her head on his shoulder, so casual. So intimate.
That one small gesture felt like a kick in my chest. I took another swallow of my drink, my gaze fixed on them as if my stare could separate them.
I rose unsteadily to my feet, beer in hand. I should've walked over, apologized, and fought for her attention. But my legs refused. I watched as Mark dipped her backward, her fingers threading into his hair.
"Stop looking". I told myself, twisting the ring on my finger.
A hand tapped my shoulder. I yanked around to see the taller blonde, smiling wickedly. "Hey, stranger. Are you okay?"
"Yea"
"You sure? Joe," Her voice broke through my thoughts again. "Why so tense?"
I looked at her blankly as she pressed a bit closer, lips brushing my ear.
I blinked, focusing. "Yeah." I gave a tight nod. "Yeah, I'm fine."
She leaned closer, breath scented with cherry lip gloss. "You seem distracted. I can make you forget anything, baby."
I forced a grin. "Thanks." I raised my glass. "But not tonight."
"You look like you could use some company tonight," she murmured. "Wanna get out of here?"
My eyes cut back to Lily just as she glanced my way again. This time there was a glimmer in her gaze as she nestled into Mark's arms, her lips lifting into a knowing smirk before she let her eyes drift shut.
That was it. That was my breaking point.
"Yeah," I muttered, finishing my drink in one hard gulp before standing up. "Let's go."
The girl beamed and laced her fingers through mine as we slipped up the staircase, her giggles fading into the dark hallway.
And as we disappeared into one of the rooms upstairs, my hands moved on autopilot, my mind spinning with a furious, aching jealousy I didn't want to feel, and a strange, hollow ache in my chest that told me this wasn't going to help at all.