The 16th year of Yongxian.
The autumn wind was bleak, and the leaves had fallen.
All things withered, yet the chrysanthemums bloomed alone.
Within the Dingyuan Marquis Mansion, however, it was vibrant with life, and the flowers, plants, and trees in the garden had not yet experienced autumn. Ever since Lin Youning woke up, she had been leaning by the window, staring blankly at the vine arbor in the small garden.
That day, after vomiting blood because of Gu Yixuan, Lin Youning never expected that opening her eyes again would take her back to being five years old. The scene before her was clear, the autumn sun shone on her body, so real, telling her that all of this was not a dream but reality.
She returned to the year she was five, just after her aunt had passed away, and she was taken to the Marquis Mansion by Madam for care.
Having the chance to live again, Lin Youning should have been elated; she could take revenge, and all the grievances would not be in vain for her anger that literally killed her in her past life.
Yet, whenever Lin Youning thought resentfully of those old grudges, she couldn't help but recall the words Gu Yihou whispered in her ear before his death, causing a bitter ache in her heart, bringing uncontrollable tears to her eyes.
If they had already harmed her for half a life, why say such remorseful words in the end? It truly made her both hate and unable to forgive, tormenting her endlessly.
"Miss, you haven't eaten for the past three days of your fever. Now that the fever has finally subsided, if you fall ill again, and the Madam of Shi'an Garden knows, wouldn't she cry until her eyes are ruined?" Shanmoi came in from outside, stepping forward with a bird's nest bowl.
Ever since her young lady woke up, she had been leaning by the window, facing the yard, gloomy and melancholic. Her originally frail body, further weakened after the Old Madam passed away, seemed as fragile as a willow branch that could topple with a light breeze.
Shanmoi placed the bird's nest bowl on the red pine Eight Immortals table by the couch and instructed the little maid behind her to bring the bowls and dishes, serving a bowl of bird's nest next to the table. Her series of actions unbelievably made no sound.
The little maid quietly withdrew, while Shanmoi stood waiting by the couch, seeing her young lady unmoved, her eyebrows furrowed even tighter.
The young lady, although merely a five-year-old child, bore a face of worries akin to a person who has experienced great sorrows. Ever since the Old Madam fell ill and up until she passed, the young lady's face had not shown a trace of a smile.
"Miss, even if you don't care about yourself, you should think about Madam. When you were ill a while back, Madam stayed by your side day and night without a moment's rest. Although your fever has gone down, Madam fell ill, yet she still worries about you. Sister Suyi came this morning, and seeing you no longer had a fever, she felt relieved and went to report back to Madam." Shanmoi persuaded by the side.
The Suyi she mentioned was indeed the leading maid beside Madam, who was usually respected even by the Marchioness and was always favored by Madam.
Finally, Shanmoi's words elicited a reaction from the perpetually silent person. Upon seeing her young lady slowly get up and sit properly by the table, Shanmoi let out a sigh of relief, gently stepped forward, and handed over the bird's nest.
The white porcelain painted with green bamboo leaves held superior quality blood bird's nest, topped with three lily petals and two large dates. With such a presentation, it was already top-notch, not to mention the preciousness of the blood bird's nest.
"Is this Auntie's bird's nest?" Lin Youning took the bowl from Shanmoi's hand, then placed it back on the table, sliding it slightly.
The Auntie she referred to was the Madam of the Marquis Mansion. When Lin Youning was born, she was adopted by her aunt into the Gu family's main branch. At that time, both sister-in-law households were widowed simultaneously, supporting each other through tough times, forging a bond beyond that of typical relationships, not even comparable to blood sisters.
Lin Youning was raised as a child bride, growing up under the care of both women, so well-behaved and sensible that they wished they could give her all the best things out of heartache.
Reflecting on the past life, Lin Youding remembered it was the year she moved to the Marquis Mansion that Gu Yixuan married, and Kong Tianru entered the mansion. It was after interacting with Kong Tianru that she started becoming arrogant and domineering.
But at that time, Auntie spoiled her, and she was destined to be the lady of the main branch of the Gu family in the future. Her cousin, born of her aunt, died seeking the Marquis of Dingyuan, and even the Marquis favored her. Her originally timid nature, under Kong Tianru's deliberate instigations and provocations, how could it not change?
Though it was Gu Yixuan who angered her to death, ultimately, Gu Yixuan's last words did let Lin Youning find solace. What she couldn't stop worrying about was Brother Zong. He always showed filial respect to her as his mother, and she didn't know how things turned out with Kong Tianru; as long as he didn't cause a catastrophe, it would be fine.
Winning the top scholar prize at fourteen, even if she wasn't there, Brother Zong would take good care of himself.
Lin Youning closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and when she opened them again, her refined apricot eyes were full of clarity. In her past life, it was her own foolishness, blaming others for being manipulated.
Auntie loved her as her own daughter, and even though Auntie eventually sided with Gu Yixuan, Auntie also never forgave Gu Yixuan all her life. How many mothers would break ties with their own sons for outsiders?
So, it might as well balance out the grudges between her and Gu Yixuan.
As for Kong Tianru, as long as she didn't come to provoke her in this life, Lin Youning had no intention to retaliate. Last life's grudges ended with the last life.
This life, she only wished to live well, no longer entangled with Gu Yixuan, and to end her days peacefully.