After that moment in the library, Raizel went back to avoiding me completely. He'd looked at me for maybe three seconds, and then disappeared like I didn't exist again.
I kept thinking about it though. That look. Probably didn't mean anything, he was just surprised to find me in his space. But I couldn't stop replaying it in my head.
Three days later, I was reading in my room when I started hearing noises from next door.
Heavy footsteps pacing back and forth. Something being dragged across the floor. The door between our rooms had been locked since the wedding, but I could hear everything clearly.
Then came a loud crash, followed by glass breaking.
I put my book down and listened. Was Raizel okay? Angry about something? The sounds kept going, irregular and violent, like someone was destroying the room.
Then I heard something that made my heart race.
A low growl. Raw and animal-like. Coming from a man who wasn't in control anymore.
Rut.
I'd read about alpha ruts before. Every omega learned about them, how intense they were, how dangerous they could be. But I'd never been around one. My stomach twisted with fear and something else I didn't want to think about.
Another crash, louder this time, followed by cursing I could hear through the door. Something was wrong. This sounded violent and desperate, not like the normal biological process from textbooks.
The sounds went on through the evening and all night. Pacing, crashing, occasional growls that made something deep inside me respond in ways I didn't understand. I lay in bed listening, my body tense. Every sound from his room seemed to go right through me, making me restless and unable to sleep.
By the second day, I was really worried. The noises were getting worse, more frantic, more desperate. When Mrs Garrett brought my meals, she looked upset.
"Is Lord Raizel okay?" I asked.
Her mouth got tight. "His lordship is indisposed. These things happen with alphas, my lord. It will pass."
But her tone suggested this wasn't normal, even for a rut.
That evening, it got worse. Books being thrown, more glass breaking, and underneath it all, constant restless energy that seemed to pulse through the walls. At one point, I thought I heard my name, spoken in a voice so rough and desperate it made my face burn hot.
I couldn't take it anymore.
I knew it was dangerous. I knew I was probably the last person who should be anywhere near an alpha in rut, especially one who barely tolerated me normally. But hearing the sounds of destruction and pain from his room made my chest ache.
I went to the door between our rooms.
I knocked softly. "Raizel? Are you okay?" My face got hot saying his name out loud, it was the first time I'd called him by name directly, and I couldn't deny how good it felt.
The sounds stopped immediately. Complete silence.
Then, "Stay away."
His voice was rough, barely recognizable, strained with whatever was happening to him.
"You sound hurt," I said, pressing my hand against the door. "I heard glass breaking."
"I said stay away." But there was something desperate in his voice now, something that made me more worried, not less.
"I'm coming in," I said, and before I could chicken out, I tried the door handle.
It wasn't locked.
The room was destroyed. Furniture knocked over, papers everywhere, pieces of what used to be a mirror all over the floor. The air was thick with heat and something else, something that hit me like a punch the moment I stepped inside.
Pheromones. Pine and steel, his usual scent, but so much stronger than I'd ever experienced. It filled the air like smoke, thick and overwhelming, carrying something raw and desperate that made my knees weak and my body react in ways I'd never felt before.
In the middle of it all, Raizel sat against the far wall, looking completely wrecked.
His dark hair was messy, damp with sweat and falling in his face. His shirt was half unbuttoned and wrinkled, showing glimpses of pale skin and his chest. His pale eyes were wide and unfocused, burning with something wild and desperate that made me catch my breath.
"I told you to leave," he said, but his voice had no authority left. He was shaking, I realized, his hands pressed against the stone floor like he was trying to hold himself together.
"You're bleeding," I said, seeing the cuts on his hands from the broken glass.
"It doesn't matter."
His scent was getting stronger, more overwhelming, making my head spin and my body react in ways that should have been impossible. I was a failed omega, wasn't I? I shouldn't be able to respond to alpha pheromones. But here I was, feeling a heat pool in my stomach, my skin becoming sensitive to every shift in the air.
I stepped closer, and he went completely still, his breathing getting more ragged.
"Don't," he whispered, his voice cracking. "You don't understand what you're doing."
But I was already moving toward him, pulled by something I couldn't fight. When I knelt beside him and reached for his hurt hand, everything happened at once.
The world seemed to spin. His scent hit me like a physical force, so intense it made my head dizzy and my body flush with heat. And Raizel made a sound I'd never heard from him before, something between a growl and a broken moan.
His hand grabbed my wrist, not gently, his grip strong enough to bruise. Suddenly I was pressed back against the wall, his body surrounding me completely.
"You have no idea what you've done," he said, his voice barely human. His pale eyes, usually so cold and controlled, burned with something wild and desperate as they roamed over my face, my throat, lower.
I should have been terrified. Every rational part of my mind was screaming at me to run. But instead, I found myself staring up at him, mesmerized by the transformation. This wasn't the distant, controlled man I'd married. This was something primal, raw, completely unguarded.
"Raizel," I whispered, and his name seemed to break what little restraint he had left.
His mouth crashed against mine, fierce and demanding, nothing like the gentle kisses described in romantic stories. This was hunger, pure and desperate, his teeth catching my lower lip, his tongue claiming my mouth with an intensity that left me breathless.
His hands were everywhere, rough and desperate, pulling at my clothes with an urgency that had buttons scattering across the stone floor. The cool air hit my heated skin as fabric fell away, but then his hands were on me, calloused palms sliding over my chest, my waist, my already heard dick, stroking it gently, his other hand moved to my butts, mapping every inch of exposed flesh with a thoroughness that made me gasp and arch beneath his touch.
"So soft," he murmured against my throat, his voice rough with need. His lips found the sensitive spot where my neck met my shoulder, teeth scraping over skin that felt electrified by his touch. "You smell like..." He inhaled deeply, his breath hot against my skin. "Like everything I've been trying not to want."
His words sent fire through my veins. I shouldn't have been able to produce any scent worth wanting, but the way he pressed his face against my neck, breathing me in like I was intoxicating, made me feel powerful in a way I'd never experienced.
"Hmmmnn…."
My own hands found the edges of his ruined shirt, pushing the fabric aside to explore the firm planes of his chest, the defined muscles that spoke of years of training with sword and bow. His skin was fever-hot beneath my palms, slick with sweat, and when I traced the line of a scar across his ribs, he shuddered and pressed closer.
"Tell me to stop," he said, but even as he spoke, his hands were sliding lower, fingers rubbing fire across my wet ass, making me gasp and writhe beneath his touch. "Tell me to leave you alone."
But I couldn't. The word 'stop' had fled from my vocabulary entirely, replaced by incoherent sounds of need and want that I'd never known I was capable of making.
When his mouth found mine again, it was with a desperation that bordered on violence. His kiss was claiming, possessive, his body pressing me deeper into the wall as if he could merge us into one being through sheer force of will.
The stone was cold against my back, but everywhere else was heat and pressure and sensation that threatened to overwhelm my senses entirely. His pheromones wrapped around me like a drug, making rational thought impossible, reducing the world to nothing but touch and taste and the desperate need building between us.
His fingers thrust into me in a way that was both rough and gentle, I gasped, my hands wrapped across his shoulders, following his motion. His fingers invading my insides with an intensity that left me shaking, his other hand trailing paths of fire across my chest, nipples, my ears, skin that had never been touched with such focus, such desperate attention.
"Hmmnn..! Argh…" I moaned helplessly.
He flipped my body to the wall, my back now facing him, he lifted my ass, kissed my nape. I moaned with pleasure. I felt something against my butts, hard as rock. He pressed on me, pried me open to accept him, he slid in me easily and magnetically like we were meant to be. Thrusting rigorously. When he found the places that made me cry out, he lingered there, learning what made me arch and gasp and beg for more.
"Aargh…! Hmm.." I kept making sounds I never thought I could make.
"Look at you," he said, his voice rough with wonder and need. "Responding to me like this. How is that possible when you're supposed to be..."
"Broken," I finished, the word a gasp against his lips.
"Not broken," he said fiercely, his hands stilling for just a moment to turn my face to him, forcing me to meet his burning gaze. "Never broken."
Then his mouth was on mine again, and I stopped thinking about anything else. He kissed me like he needed me to breathe, desperate and hungry.
What happened next was intense and overwhelming. Not gentle or romantic, more like desperation and need taking over. But underneath all that animal hunger from his rut, there was something else. Something that felt like I mattered, like I was precious to him even if he'd never admit it.
I got lost in it, feeling wanted so completely and desperately. For once, I wasn't the failed omega or the unwanted husband or the family disappointment. I was exactly what he needed.
We didn't stop. He carried me to his bed and we kept going through the night.
When it was over, when we were both shaking and exhausted, the silence felt heavy. Like there were things neither of us knew how to say.
Raizel pulled away from me like I'd hurt him. His face shut down, walls going back up. The change was jarring, from desperate need to cold distance in seconds.
"I ... .This doesn't change anything," he said, his voice rough but controlled again as he reached for his clothes. "What happened here was just biology. Nothing more."
I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. My body was still buzzing from everything we'd done. As I gathered my torn clothes to go back to my room, I caught something in his expression. Like he was confused too, like he didn't understand what had just happened.
"Cadiz," he said as I reached the door.
I turned back, hoping for something. Some sign that it had meant something, even just biologically.
"This can never happen again. Do you understand me? Never."
The words hit me like a slap, but I kept my face neutral. "I understand."
But as I closed the door behind me and collapsed on my own bed, still shaking from what we'd shared, I couldn't shake the feeling that something had changed. Not between us necessarily, but in me.
For the first time since coming to Ravenshollow, I had felt truly wanted. Even if it was just biology like he said, even if it meant nothing to him, for those few intense moments, I had been exactly what someone needed.
And that feeling was dangerous in ways I was only starting to understand.