The light penetrated the curtain as the sun rises from the sky. The comfortable sleep of Ilaya is disturbed as her eyelashes flickered. She opened her eyes and she sat up from her bed, she looked around. She saw a table and chair in the corner, and she heard the sound of an aircon. She remembered that she decided to sleep in a hotel last night, after eating a meal in a nearby convenience store. The moment her mind started working, she felt lonely and lost
'I wonder if there's someone who knows me, and if they are looking for me?'
Ilaya left her bed and walked towards the window. She opened it and took in the view of the waking city. She looked at the rising sun that brought out hope. The tall building is being bathed with sunlight, the people are walking through the streets and the sounds of cars complete the whole picture of a prosperous city.
She couldn't help but envy the people below her
They are walking around with purpose and with a destination. They go where they need to, want to. Unlike me who doesn't even know where to go. I'm surrounded by lots of people but the feeling makes me much more aware of how alone i am
'Where will I go? And where is my destination?'
Ilaya felt her chest go heavy and her eyes moistened. She gritted her teeth as she continued to think
'Can I remember my memories? Is everything going to be alright if I remember my past? Am I going to be hurt if I know my past? Is it a blessing that I forgot my memories?
She continue to stare outside and built a plan on her head
'First, I want to remember my past, even if that will lead to me being hurt. I'll need to travel around the city to look for anything that will hopefully make me remember anything'
Then, Ilaya walked towards the chair and sat
"Second, if I feel nostalgic or if a deja Vu hits me. I will search around the place that I'm in and do a thorough search of the area"
Ilaya rubbed her face with her hands
"Third, I have a clue already, the address in the old paper is clue that I can follow if there's really a connection between me and the location of the address"
Having planned her goal, she planned to head to the bathroom to bathe. But she felt a hard object in her face as she rubbed it with her hands. She looked at her hands and saw a ring in her index finger on her left hand. She's surprised at the unexpected finding as she removed it in her finger
'Maybe the confusion and panic last night made me overlook this ring'
She studied the ring as she immediately became dazed as she inspected it. The ring looks pretty, it's like a transparent crystal and there's glittering inside it. Like trapped stars of the night sky. She weighs it off and it's as light as a feather, when it's being hit by light, the starry glitter inside the ring starts sparkling with different colors. It's mesmerizing.
'Maybe this ring is a clue? But I never seen ring like this'
Just from a glance and it's clear that it's extremely valuable. She's worried that it's going to get her into trouble if she flamboyantly wears it. So, she planned to put it in her pocket for now, and to buy a necklace later to put the ring in it.
'For now, I really need to buy a backpack and clothes. Then head to that address'
With her plan finalized, she immediately entered the bathroom and washed her body, after 10 minutes of washing. She wipes her body dry, and put her clothes again. Ilaya is starting to get disgusted by wearing only one set of clothes, so she immediately set of to buy her clothing. She also wants to buy street foods for breakfast. She remembered the smell of roasted meat on her way to the hotel and her mouth watered. But she had to budget her little money, lest she starve later on.
Ilaya reached the lobby and got out of the hotel, then, she started walking again as she saw lots of people walking around her. She couldn't help but sigh
'I missed the atmosphere last night. Even though the city is full of danger and unpredictability, the place is also beautiful. The breezy winds hitting my whole body, as I'm illuminated by neon lights, walking down the path with few people is comforting'
She realized that she likes being alone as she felt peaceful and most importantly, it's not noisy
'Thats life I guess, you will not always get what you wants'
As Ilaya walked about 10 minutes, she smelled the fragrance of food, coming from a small restaurant. She immediately changed her direction and she entered the restaurant that the smell is coming from. She saw many foods on the menu and she wanted to taste all of them, but her tight budget crushed that desire. She buy a takeout food and stand outside and look at the people
'How nice… I wonder when will I have the time to tour like them
As she's standing while eating her takoyaki. She saw many people, including many foreigners walking and taking pictures from time to time. She turned her gaze to the ground. The gloomy vibe that she's giving off is so contrast to her surroundings that are lively and full of life. Maybe because of that, the owner of the small restaurant goes outside to talk to her
"Are you alright lady? You look like you've been abandoned by the world. Your presence is so heavy"
Ilaya stared at the middle aged guy who spoke to her. She didn't manage to reply immediately because that guy hit the sore spot. She replies to the old man
"Well, something like that. I don't even know where I am headed now. So I'm not alright"
The owner then smiled at her and said
"Do you want an advice from me? I may not know a lot, but I have experienced so many things already. So maybe I'll be able to help you a little"
She glanced at the old man for a bit, then looked at the busy people around her. Then she asked
"Since you said I'm abandoned by the world. So, my question is, what will you do if you want to go home but you don't know where you're home? Or if you even have a home?"
Ilaya continued to watch the people who have a destination and home that they will go back to. Living their life to the fullest despite the harshness of life. They have an anchor that can stabilize them, unlike her who's like drifting in the middle of an ocean with nowhere to go and doesn't know what to do
The old man seems taken aback, then chuckled and said to her
"Haha, So it seems like my metaphor is apt then? The first thing you need to do then is to have a goal or a destination, you can't go anywhere if you don't have somewhere you want to go. Just like the ocean, you are drifting in the current because you let it to be. If you desire to be somewhere, you'll need to take action. Pick up your oar then pick a direction. Then paddle with all your might"
The old man thought for a bit and speaks again
"The important thing is you desire to be somewhere, that's why you pick your direction and paddled your oar. The moment you choose your direction, you have set you goal. The moment you pick your oar, you have readied your feet. And the moment you paddles, you have taken your first in the countless steps that you'll be making"
She pondered about what the old man said. And it makes sense. Since she thinks so many things that she became confused
'All I just need to do is to set a goal, then take the first step'
Ilaya looked at him, then, she smiled and said
"Old man, you'll fit to be a philosopher, are you sure you're the one who didn't lose your way and become a small restaurant owner?"
The old man then burst into laughter