The howls grew closer with every passing moment, a stark reminder that time was a fair weather friend. Without further hesitation, I slit the helpless man's throat in an attempt to grant him as painless a death as possible. Even if it was the wrong thing to do, I could at least take comfort in knowing that I had not left the poor man to be savaged by wolves.
When it was finished, I retrieved my last 2 throwing knives from his corpse and wiped off as much blood from my weapons as I could. With an untold amount of creatures bearing down on my location, I was determined a retreat would be best. Ideally, I wanted to bury the 3 corpses, but I was sure the wolves would leave little left of them to discover. And so with my perfect crime complete, I headed deeper into the forest to find a new camping spot. It wouldn't be long until the wolves had finished their meal, and I didn't intend on being their next.
The night grew old as I searched for a safe location to rest. Along the way, I carved small marks on some trees as I passed. I would eventually need to find my way back to the main road, and the marks would serve as a guide. After some extensive searching I happened upon a stream and stopped to take a rest. I had moved far enough away that I no longer feared a pursuit. On top of that, I was getting tired and I still had some work to do. Despite my best efforts, without water, I was not able to properly clean my weapon.
Contrary to their depictions in movies and pop-culture, blades were actually quite high maintenance tools. Depending on the quality of the metal, they were susceptible to dulling and rusting. Since my weapons had become my life line in this world, I couldn't afford to neglect them. So I allowed the stream to wash the blood away while scrubbing any abrasive debris with a cloth. It wasn't exactly a full pedicure, but it was the best I could do for now. They would be able to receive more proper maintenance when I got access to the necessary equipment. I would have liked to have taken a bath myself, but the winter water was too cold.
When I had finished, I climbed up a nearby tree and drifted off to sleep. It made for a shitty bed of course, but so late at night, I didn't really have another option. The hard branch dug into my back, making it hard to sleep, but when tired enough, I could sleep on practically anything.
I awoke to the first light, still cranky from a lack of sleep. I would have liked to go back to sleep, but the forest was hardly a conducive location for the activity. The winter trees provided little shade from the sunlight, and my back had begun to ache because of my shitty 'mattress'. With a groan and a yawn, I leapt down from my tree and started the long walk back. Normally it was a bad idea to return to the scene of a crime, but in my case, I had to ensure there was no 'yellow tape' so to speak. If anybody could dig up traces of Amata's fate, I would be in trouble.
When I had arrived back to the main road, there were no bodies, only a faint pool of dried blood which had seeped into the dirt road. Whatever it was, something had taken the corpses whole. Many fearful creatures came to mind, but in the end, I didn't really care. The job was done, and I simply wanted to move on from it. It wasn't my first kill, but it could have been considered my first murder. I grew sick at the realization, but my emotions still betrayed me. Despite my every thought's protest, my blood still ran cold. It was as if my emotions had not only been suppressed, but stripped from me entirely. It was not the angst of boredom that I had experienced in my previous life. This time I truly felt numb, like my emotions were no longer my own. Like I was no longer human.
I mulled over my new identity crisis as I allowed the road to carry me back to the forest's entrance. I had justified my actions by simply acknowledging that I had no other choice. It was a cowardly tactic to be sure, but I did not yet have the wisdom necessary to fight that battle. Running away from my problems wouldn't fix anything, but it sure made me feel better.
When I had reached the forest entrance, I paused for a moment. I had let the road carry me while I was deep in thought, but hadn't really decided where I was going. I had completed the job much faster than I had expected, and I had the remainder of the month to kill. It was probably best to stay out of Rapforth till the heat died down, so I took my map from out of my cloak to explore my options.
The Rapforth province contained several small towns and villages, but outside of the city of Rapforth itself, the domain was rather agrarian. Due to the large farming industry, blacksmiths were quite common, and it probably couldn't hurt to check one out. There was nothing wrong with my current equipment, but I had plenty of time to kill and still a few coins left over from my earlier shenanigans. At the very least, I would be able to learn about metal prices and how much a good sword would cost me. I was also famished, and I would have killed for a real bed, no pun intended.
After scouring my map, I settled on a town north of me called Travelm. It was a small town, a community of mostly farmers and a few other trades. The Inn and blacksmith was all I was interested in though. I would lie low in Travelm while I concocted a plan to sneak back into Rapforth.
The road to Travelm was rather peaceful. As I passed fallow fields and grassy planes, I gazed at the horizon appreciating its vastness. For the past 2 years, I had only known fog and snow. It was a cloudy day, but no less beautiful for it. I had spent so much time cooped up on that gloomy isle, that I had forgotten there was a whole new world to explore. It was almost enough to bring a smile to my face, almost. If it hadn't been for the chains that bound me, perhaps I could have managed a happy thought, but as things were now, it was only a tease. Like dangling the keys in front of a prisoner. What was out of my reach, always seemed to be sour grapes.
Before long Travelm had come into sight. It was much smaller than I had imagined, but I wasn't expecting a big town anyway. When I entered the town, I drew strange looks from several of the locals. They probably didn't get visitors often, but I guessed I was also an anomaly. A lone short hooded figure, it was hardly an inconspicuous appearance. I paid their gazes no mind though, and continued till I found the town's Inn. Upon entering, it reminded me more of a tavern than an inn. I guess when you didn't get a lot of business, you had to get a little creative.
The lobby contained a host's desk, but no one was in sight. I waited in silence for several minutes, but still not a soul. I was about to leave, when I finally heard someone coming out of the back. It was a woman somewhere in her 30s with an average build and long brunette hair. Upon noticing me she rushed over to the front desk. "I'm so sorry, sir. We don't get a lot of visitors around here. Apologies for the wait, how may I help you?" she spoke with an apologetic tone.
"I'd like a single room, and some of whatever you got ready to eat back in there." I pointed to what I presumed was the kitchen entrance from which she had emerged. "Of course, it will be 5 copper a night, and how about I make your first meal on the house as an apology?" The woman offered. I nodded and handed the woman 5 coppers. I wasn't going to pass up a free meal, and I was running low on money. Not including the 5 coppers I had just spent, I was down to about ten silver and 5 copper.
There were 3 denominations of coins in the empire. A gold was worth 10 silver and a silver was worth 10 bronze. I only had enough for about 20 more nights if I set aside the rest for food, but it was just enough. There didn't seem much to do in the town, and I was only killing time anyway.
The hostess accepted my payment and disappeared into the kitchen once again. I sat down at one of the many tables, patiently waiting for my food. My stomach continued to growl up until it had arrived. When she had re-emerged from the kitchen, she was carrying a bowl of soup and a baked potato. She added a cup of water, and I nodded in thanks. The soup was a hot pot of several vegetables, there were no meats to my dismay, but the meal had been free anyway. The potato was delicious as well, and it was not long before my stomach settled once again.
Having satisfied my hunger, I retired to my room upstairs. The room was marked by a window, bed, and small wardrobe, but contained nothing else to write home about. I closed the curtains on my window and when I was sure I was alone, I stripped my dirty set of clothes. They would need a wash, and I would too for that matter. Luckily my mana had restored itself, and it would make the task much easier. With a little bit of tier 2 fire and water magic, I managed to clean myself and my clothes as best as I could without soap. Theoretically I could have used darkness magic to erase the dirt, but the element did not discriminate between friend and foe.
I redressed in my now clean clothes and headed straight to bed. It was still quite early in the day, but I didn't care. The work was done, and I wanted to rest. I had not gotten a proper night's sleep in the forest, so I found it quite easy to fall asleep. In short time, I awoke in my dreamscape. It was a familiar place to me, yet I hated it all the same. In the darkest depths of my mind, was a vast wasteland. The scenery and environment itself was gloomy and bizarre, but it was not what bothered me. For the past year, I had shared this space alone with a boy. One whose name I had not known, but whose face was unforgettable. I didn't dream every night, but when I did it was always here. Only this time five new souls had found their way into this strange plane of existence. They never spoke nor pestered me, but they followed me around and stared endlessly.
It was the faces of all 6 people who had died by my hands. Walking corpses that retained every injury I had inflicted upon them. The eerie silence seemed almost worse than if they would speak. It was a nightmare to be sure, but the worst part was not the environment. For some reason, my emotions returned only to me in my sleep. It was the last place I truly considered my own. Where my real self lived, and where all my suppressed guilt and sorrow had piled up. At night, I was forced to live with the actions I had so callously committed while awake. If there was a better form of torture, I couldn't have imagined it.
The realm was no stranger to me, but only this time it felt heavier than before. I roamed the endless wastelands, trudging through a thick sludge that covered me up to my shins. At least this way, I would not have to look at their faces, but the sounds of their footsteps behind me wouldn't let me forget. When I was tired of walking, I would close my eyes and meditate the scene away. At the very least, their sounds could no longer be heard, and if I focused hard enough, I would forget for just a moment.
I awoke to a loud strike of an anvil, only this time I had found myself in the real world. With my emotions suppressed, a state of composure returned to me once more. It sounded like the blacksmith was already hard at work, and today I intended to pay him a visit.