The alarm rings. I open my eyes slightly and see a thin ray of light coming through my bedroom curtain.
When I check the time and date on my phone, I realize it's my first day of my senior year of high school.
Getting up this early is tough, but I gather my courage and head to the bathroom to get ready.
Over the years, many things have changed: first of all, I've realized that I like both girls and boys. At first it was difficult, but over time I understood that it's simply part of who I am.
I've also grown physically; I no longer look like a child. Thanks to basketball, my body is more toned, which has helped me gain confidence over the years.
I have a girlfriend, Sole, and we've had a wonderful relationship for about a year and a half. We've known each other since we were little, and when she asked me out, I was surprised, but also happy. Our relationship is strong, and when I'm with her, I feel at ease.
But… lately I've been unsettled by certain dreams. Some I don't remember, yet they leave me anxious; another one makes me feel… dirty.
I find myself in an empty, isolated space, yet I don't feel alone. It's as if I know someone is there with me, ready to appear at any moment.
I know someone is beside me, but for some reason, I don't turn to look, as if I don't want to find out. I can't even recall their voice, but I know our conversations were fun.
Then, suddenly… when the silence falls, I feel a hand gently on my eyes, and immediately after, their lips on mine.
An intense, passionate kiss, so vivid that every time I wake up, it feels like it really happened.
In the dream, I don't pull away; I hold their face, wanting them even closer.
Their lips press against mine almost wildly, as if I were theirs. And I… respond with the same intensity.
But when I wake up, there's an emptiness inside me that hurts. Not only do I feel like something has been torn away, but when I think of Sole… I feel guilty.
But then, thinking about it, I tell myself I shouldn't give too much weight to dreams. After all, they aren't real life.
In reality, my feelings for Sole are special, unique… and nothing can change how I feel about her.
As these thoughts run through my mind, I suddenly realize I forgot my shirt.
I head to my room, and when I quietly open the door, I see a white backpack resting on my bed.
No doubt… it's Lucas.
I grip the door handle a little tighter, summon my courage, and step inside.
The first thing I notice is him, sitting on the edge of my desk, smiling while petting Perla.
His blue curls glint in the morning light, and every movement is disarmingly natural. He seems to brush her as if she were a feather, and in his gaze, full of tenderness, there's something that convinces me he's a special person.
Lost in thought, I don't immediately notice him turning toward me. Only when his eyes meet mine do I freeze.
For a second, the room feels smaller.
"Why are you just standing there staring at me like an idiot? I've been waiting for you," he says with a half-smile.
"Didn't you hear me knock?" I reply, forcing a smile.
"I knocked. Your mom let me in. Don't make those claims—you never hear me arrive," he responds, shrugging casually.
I hear you loud and clear… and that's exactly the problem, I think to myself.
"I was looking for my favorite shirt… you know, the Adidas one. Just a moment, then we'll go."
I open the wardrobe door, but the shirt isn't there.
Perfect… standing shirtless in front of Lucas is really a brilliant idea.
My hands start to sweat and tremble as I frantically search for the shirt, with no luck.
Maybe my mom put it in the laundry… The only solution is to ask her.
I turn, and the first thing I notice are his blue eyes, fixed on me with a mysterious expression.
I take a step back, the scent of him reaching me, and holding my breath becomes nearly impossible.
The closer he gets, the more a shiver runs down my spine… and the tension inside me rises.
Then he reaches out and grabs something: my shirt.
He casually places it on my head, as if I were a hanger.
"You should go to the eye doctor," he chuckles. "It was right in front of you."
I take the shirt from my head and put it on, showing mock annoyance, but a small smile escapes me in the end.
"Come on, let's go now."
As I head toward the door, I see him rummaging through his backpack, pulling out a white bag with "Cornetteria da BigMama" written on it.
For a moment, his eyes aren't mischievous, but tender.
"Let's have breakfast together on the way."
Lucas tosses me the bag, and I catch it while he slings his backpack over his shoulder and heads out of my room.
We descend the stairs, taking bites of our pastries and exchanging our usual jokes, making our way to the station.
The avenue is lined with trees and small shops, with apartments overlooking tiny terraces. Around us, many teenagers walk toward school, while cars speed through the morning traffic. Life in Bolzano has returned to its usual rhythm.
Lucas walks a few steps ahead, hands in his pockets. Suddenly, he stops and glances sideways, searching for me with his eyes.
I hadn't realized I'd been lost in thought, distracted by my surroundings, and had fallen behind.
I pick up my pace to catch up, noticing him smiling. I pause, curious, but then I see his gaze directed downward.
I look down and realize I've stepped straight into a puddle.
Lucas bursts out laughing, nearly doubled over.
"Am I so handsome that I distract you?"
Heat rises to my cheeks, growing more intense.
I want to be mad at him, but I can't, even as Lucas continues to joke.
I stare at my dirty shoes, focusing on them intently, when a slight cough interrupts my thoughts.
When I stand, I realize he's already behind me, walking toward my house.
"Let's go back so you can change your shoes. I'll come with you."
He walks ahead of me while I watch him.
In that moment, I realize that despite people passing by, it's just the two of us. I don't know why I feel that way… and deep down, I don't want to figure it out.
I sigh and, with a determined step, catch up to him, feeling my heartbeat race.
I couldn't have imagined how much I had already changed… nor how much my life, and the lives of those I love, were about to transform forever.