On the very first day of school, Hikigaya Hachiman was already forced into a corner.
"Stand at the back, Hikigaya-kun."
That was the merciless decree from the beautiful yet terrifying teacher, Kirisu-sensei. And so, Hikigaya found himself standing stiffly at the rear of the classroom, silently adding another black mark to his already colorful record of high school embarrassments.
Fortunately, there were a few other unfortunate souls lined up with him. At least he wasn't the only one forced to endure this humiliation. If he'd been left alone, standing there like some criminal on display, the secondhand shame might have killed him on the spot.
Still… leaving a terrible impression on Kirisu-sensei on the very first day? That was the definition of an unlucky omen. Hikigaya's dead-fish eyes practically grew darker just thinking about the next year of school life under her gaze. The sheer thought of seeing her cold stare every day made him shiver.
Ugh… can you maybe help me out here, Yukinoshita…?
Halfway through that desperate inner plea, Hikigaya froze.
Wait. Hold on. Why was he suddenly depending on Yukinoshita Yukino so much lately?
That wasn't like him at all!
Was it because… she had completely conquered him?
No, no, no way! Don't be ridiculous, me! The weak seek protection from the strong, but I refuse to admit I'm weak! If I acknowledge that Yukinoshita is stronger than me, I'll never be able to raise my head again! That would be the end of my manhood… if I even had any left to begin with!
While Hikigaya was caught up in his spiraling thoughts, Kirisu-sensei finally dismissed him from his post. She told him to go back to his desk because the class would now begin… the dreaded ritual of self-introductions.
Self-introductions?
The words hit Hikigaya like a death sentence. His expression instantly twisted in agony, even worse than when he had been ordered to stand earlier.
This was his curse. His eternal trial.
Since the beginning of high school, self-introductions had never gone well for him.
Back in his first year, he had rushed to the bathroom with a stomachache, and when he returned, the introductions had already finished. Everyone just moved on, forgetting he even existed. He might as well have been a ghost.
In his second year, he had gotten into a car accident and missed the entire first month. By the time he returned, the class already had their little cliques, and he had been completely overlooked once again. No self-introduction, no presence, no nothing.
It was little wonder he had developed a phobia of the whole thing.
Every cell in his body screamed escape!
But then his eyes met Kirisu-sensei's sharp gaze. His legs trembled like jelly, and the thought of running away instantly evaporated.
Half an hour later…
The nightmare was finally over. Hikigaya slumped back into his chair, letting out a heavy sigh of relief, as if he had just climbed Mount Everest.
Next came the usual first-day events: opening ceremony, instructions, and a few formalities. Dutifully, he followed the rest of the students to the gymnasium.
The ceremony itself was painfully ordinary—grade representatives giving speeches, teachers droning on, the student council showing off. If it weren't for one thing, Hikigaya would've dozed off.
That one thing… was Yukinoshita Yukino.
As the third-year representative, she stood on stage with her trademark elegance, and more importantly, her sharp eyes kept flicking toward him. Not once, not twice… but multiple times.
H-Hey, wait a second. Did she just stare at me for a full two and a half minutes? What's with that level of eye contact?
A chill ran down Hikigaya's spine.
Don't tell me… she still suspects me of trying to cheat on her with Kato-san?! As if! That terrifying woman—ugh, I wouldn't get involved with her even if I was paid! Please, Yukinoshita, don't misunderstand me any further!
Hikigaya resolved that he would absolutely clear up this nonsense with Yukinoshita later.
Once the opening ceremony ended, everyone shuffled back to their classrooms. Being the first day, there were still plenty of things to take care of—cleaning duties, selecting class reps, and most importantly… seating arrangements.
For Hikigaya, this was the decisive battlefield.
All he wanted for his third year was to fade into the background like a true invisible man. A quiet seat in the corner, where nobody would bother him, and—most crucially—far away from Kato Megumi, that soft-spoken phantom who somehow carried the presence of a final boss.
Under the supposedly fair lottery system, Hikigaya managed to pull… the window seat in the second-to-last row.
His jaw dropped.
Oi, oi, oi! Wait a second here! This… this is the protagonist seat! This is Hayama's throne! How can a dead-fish-eyed mob character like me be shoved into this cliché role?! The flags, the death flags, they're sprouting everywhere!!
He tried to calm himself down. Alright, alright, fine. As long as Kato-san isn't sitting next to me, it's still a win. I can survive this. I can—
"Hikigaya-kun, what a coincidence~"
A soft voice drifted into his ears.
Hikigaya slowly turned his head, and his heart nearly stopped.
Kato-san.
Kato Megumi was sitting right beside him. At the desk to his right. Smiling casually as if she had just run into him at the vending machine.
K-Ka-Kato-san?! My… my right-hand seatmate is Kato-san?! Since when?! No, wait, how did I not notice her sitting down? Did she use her Demon Lord powers to manipulate the lottery?!
This wasn't a coincidence. This was fate… or perhaps divine punishment.
Quickly reveal your true identity, Kato-san! And your evil intentions while you're at it!!
"C-Coincidence, huh… Kato-san," Hikigaya stammered, forcing a stiff smile. "Please take care of me this year."
Ugh, why does it sound like she's declaring war on me?! Do I have to kneel now to prove my sincerity? Spare me, Demon Lord Kato!
Before he could wallow any further, two distinct figures caught his attention.
One was a blonde twin-tailed girl, who marched right up to the desk in front of him. The blonde twin-tailed girl strode confidently toward the desk in front of Hikigaya, dragging her chair back with unnecessary force. She sat down with a sharp thunk, shooting a sideways glare at the girl behind her—her eyes sparkling with a mixture of annoyance and… hostility?
It honestly looked like she was about two seconds away from baring her teeth and biting someone.
Meanwhile, the other girl—long black hair cascading down her shoulders, dark stockings framing her long legs, arms folded under her chest with an elegance that screamed "older-sister type"—merely returned the glare with a disdainful snort. Without saying a word, she sauntered past and seated herself directly behind Hikigaya.
Hikigaya blinked several times.
Uh, wait a second. What's going on here? Why does it feel like I've been caught between two enemy nations?!
Their subtle glares, their little gestures, the silent battle raging between them—it didn't take a genius to figure out there was bad blood between the twin-tailed tsundere and the black-stockinged onee-san.
Which meant…
"Yes. Perfect," Hikigaya muttered under his breath, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Now I'm officially the demilitarized zone between two warring superpowers. And to my right… a ghost in human form. Fantastic. Hikigaya Hachiman, ladies' shield and human sandbag at your service."
A bead of cold sweat trickled down his cheek.
Front: tsundere blonde ready to explode. Back: cool-headed onee-san radiating disdain. Right: Kato-san, the ever-smiling demon lord in disguise. Someone tell me what sin I committed in a past life to deserve this seating arrangement!
Hikigaya could practically see the death flags sprouting around his desk like weeds.
Yukinoshita! Help! This class is a battlefield! I can't survive like this…
...
Meanwhile, in another classroom…
Yukinoshita Yukino sat quietly at her desk, a pristine book open in front of her. To anyone watching, she was the picture of composure: calm, graceful, utterly unshaken by the chaos of high school life.
But beneath that icy exterior, her mind was anything but tranquil.
She had been analyzing, scheming, calculating—but no matter how she turned the problem over in her head, she couldn't find a good starting point. For all her intelligence and academic brilliance, getting Hikigaya and Kato Megumi to grow closer wasn't as simple as solving an equation.
The truth was painfully obvious: Yukinoshita lacked experience in matters like this. Her own relationship with Hikigaya had been the product of timing, persistence, and—dare she admit it—more than a little luck.
As if responding to her inner turmoil, the system's cold, neutral voice echoed in her mind.
[Host, you can attempt a beginner's mission first. It will help you adapt to the process.]
"…A beginner's mission?" Yukinoshita asked cautiously, her eyes narrowing.
[Mission: Have Hikigaya Hachiman engage in physical contact with any female student other than yourself.]
[Time limit: Today.]
[Reward: One Charm Enhancement Potion.]
"…Excuse me?" Yukinoshita's lips twitched. "Did you just say any female other than me?"
Her entire body trembled with the effort of suppressing her anger. Still, she forced herself to focus on the reward.
"Charm Enhancement Potion?" she repeated icily. "And what exactly does that do?"
[This potion will increase Hikigaya Hachiman's charm value. The higher the charm value, the more popular he will become. At maximum level, girls will fall in love with him at first sight—unable to extricate themselves from love.]
Yukinoshita's face froze.
"…So you're telling me this potion turns Hikigaya-kun into a male succubus?"
The corners of her mouth twitched, dark lines forming across her forehead.
What girlfriend in her right mind wants her boyfriend to go full anime protagonist and collect a harem?! This isn't a power-up—it's a walking red flag!
[Host, please do not worry. Hikigaya Hachiman's current charm value is extremely low. He is very far from becoming a male succubus. If you obtain the potion, you can use it boldly without fear.]
"…Oh?"
Her icy expression melted into curiosity.
"Extremely low, you say? Then tell me…" Yukinoshita leaned forward, her voice laced with dangerous amusement. "What exactly is Hikigaya-kun's current charm value?"