The spike boar let out a guttural roar, saliva foaming at its mouth, blood dripping from its wounded leg and gouged eye. Its massive body trembled with rage, and the ground seemed to quake as it pawed at the earth, preparing for another charge.
David twirled Sticky like it was some legendary sword, the slime still dripping from the end. "Alright, Daryl, let's put this pork chop on the grill!"
Daryl shot him a sidelong glance, expression sharp, deadly calm. "Don't get cocky. One wrong move and it'll split you in half."
David grinned, unbothered. "Relax, I've got plot armor."
"...Plot what?"
"Nevermind!"
The boar thundered forward again, dirt exploding under its hooves. Daryl dashed first, his movements precise, a swordsman's grace. He cut diagonally at the beast's other foreleg, sparks flying as his saber bit deep into flesh. The boar squealed, staggering—but not stopping.
"Now me!" David shouted, charging in like a lunatic. He planted one foot on the boar's lowered head, vaulted high, and slammed Sticky down on the uninjured eye. SPLAT! The slime residue smeared across it, half-blinding the monster.
The spike boar shook violently, tossing David into the air like a ragdoll. He screamed, flailing—only to land right on its back again, miraculously between the rows of spikes.
"I think it likes me!" David cackled, straddling it like a rodeo rider.
"More like it wants you dead!" Daryl snapped, slashing across its hind legs to keep its focus split.
The boar spun wildly, trying to buck David off. He clung tight to one of the shorter spikes, swinging Sticky like a whip. "Yeehaw! I'm the boar tamer now!"
"Stop playing around and strike!" Daryl barked.
"Fine, fine!" David stood precariously, raised Sticky overhead, and jabbed it repeatedly into the monster's back between its spines. "Bad piggy! Bad!"
The beast roared louder, enraged, charging full speed into a boulder. The collision cracked stone and sent David tumbling off its back with a pained grunt. He rolled across the grass, coughing. "O-okay… maybe I deserved that one."
Daryl didn't waste the opening. With a deep breath, he sprinted, saber gleaming in the light. His blade slashed a brutal arc across the boar's chest, carving a red line that gushed blood. The creature reeled, stumbling on its wounded legs.
For the first time, it looked like it might collapse.
David forced himself up, limping. "Hey… we're actually doing this, huh?"
Daryl didn't answer, only tightened his grip. But there was a faint glimmer in his eye—acknowledgment.
The boar lowered its head one last time, fury burning in its remaining eye. Its spikes rattled, horn gleaming sharp. It kicked dirt furiously, preparing a final, devastating charge.
David smirked through the blood on his lips. "Alright, Daryl… I got a stupid idea."
"Most of your ideas are stupid."
"Yeh, but this one's the good kind of stupid."
The boar lunged.
David sprinted forward too, screaming at the top of his lungs. "RAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Daryl cursed under his breath, then followed right after. "Idiot—don't get killed before me!"
At the last second, David dropped to the ground, sliding underneath the charging beast, Sticky jammed upward into its gut. "SURPRISE!"
The slime on the stick splattered into the wound, making the flesh sizzle. The boar shrieked in pain, staggering mid-charge.
Daryl seized the moment. He leapt high, bringing his saber down with a savage slash across the beast's spine, splitting flesh from shoulder to hip. The force of the strike shook his arms, blood spraying in an arc.
The boar howled, stumbling on its knees. Its massive body trembled, dangerously swaying.
David scrambled to his feet, panting, Sticky coated in blood and muck. He looked at Daryl, both of them exhausted, drenched, but standing side by side again.
"Think it's done?" David wheezed.
Daryl, chest rising and falling, shook his head. "Not yet… look at its eyes."
Sure enough, the spike boar's one good eye still burned with feral rage. With a desperate roar, it curled into a spiked ball—its final, most dangerous attack. The ground cracked under its weight as it began spinning, faster and faster, like a giant sawblade of flesh and bone.
"Oh… shi—" David barely got the word out before the monster hurled itself forward.
The spinning mass slammed into them with brutal force.
BOOOOM!
Both David and Daryl were launched skyward, bodies twisting violently in the air.
David's scream cut through the wind. "DAAAAARYL, I HATE THIS!"
Daryl gritted his teeth, gripping his saber tightly as the two of them soared higher and higher, the ground shrinking below.
The spike boar spun below, preparing for another strike as soon as they landed.
And there, suspended in the air, side by side but helpless, their eyes widened in sync.
David flailed wildly, screaming, "Daryl! Daaaaaryl, we're gonna die!"
Daryl, calm even while falling to his death, whipped out a rope tied to his belt and snapped it around David's arm with perfect precision.
David blinked mid-scream. "Wait—what the hell is this?!"
Daryl yanked the rope tight, pulling David toward him. "I'm not dying today, Mr. Hawk. But you? You're going to end this."
David's eyes went wide, heart pounding. "End this? What are you—oh, oh no, don't you dare—"
Daryl tightened his grip, bracing himself midair, and started to swing David in a circle. At first it was slow, but each rotation grew faster, the rope whistling in the wind. David spun helplessly, Sticky clenched tight in his hands.
"DARYL! You're making me dizzy!"
"Good. Maybe you'll finally stop talking."
"HEY, I'm about to puke—waitwaitwait, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
Daryl's voice sharpened, almost like an executioner passing judgment. "I'm throwing you into that damn spike boar."
David's jaw dropped, wind smacking his cheeks. "EXCUSE ME?!"
"Use your damn stick."
David looked down at Sticky, slime glistening, and then back at the spinning earth and the monster preparing below. Despite himself, a grin spread across his face. "...Heh. Fine. Me and Sticky, we're going for it."
The boar was still below, spinning in its spiked ball form, its single bloodshot eye watching. When it saw David aiming straight for it, it actually faltered, its massive body trembling with what looked almost like fear.
Daryl gave one final, monstrous swing and released. "Go!"
David shot downward like a cannonball, Sticky raised high above his head. The sheer momentum made him look like a flaming star tearing through the sky.
"SPIKE BOOOOAR—YOU'RE GOING DOWN!" David roared, his grin stretching ear to ear.
The boar squealed and shook in panic, its spikes rattling like blades of fear.
And then—
BOOOOOM!
David crashed into it with an explosion of dirt, slime, and blood, a massive cloud of smoke engulfing the battlefield. The ground quaked under the impact, and the shockwave even knocked the old man's wagon off balance, the donkey braying in terror.
From above, Daryl exhaled, releasing the tension in his shoulders as he watched the mushroom cloud of dust rise. "...He actually did it."
Then gravity caught him.
"Oh, right."
WHAM!
He hit the ground face-first, body sprawled awkwardly in the dirt. He groaned into the soil. "…Every time."
The battlefield fell into silence. Only the rising smoke from David's landing marked the scene—whether it was a victory, or just the start of something worse.