I stood in front of the full length mirror in his room which was now "our" room. The navy qipao fitted perfectly as if it was made only for me.
Behind me, reflected in the mirror, Asher adjusted his cufflinks. He'd showered and changed into a different suit. His hair was perfectly styled again.
"The pearls." He said without looking up from his cuffs.
I reached for the pearl set laid out on the dresser: the necklace, earrings,and the bracelet. Each piece was perfectly matched. My hands trembled slightly as I fastened the necklace, the clasp was slippery between my fingers.
"Let me."
He appeared behind me suddenly. His fingers brushed mine away and took over the clasp. I felt the whisper of his breath against the nape of my neck as he tied the necklace.
But his hands didn't move away immediately. They rested for a moment on my shoulders, his thumbs touching my bare skin. Through the mirror, his eyes met mine.
"Perfect." He said.
I didn't know if he meant the necklace or me.
"Hair up." He added, stepping back.
I gathered my hair, twisting it into an elegant knot and securing it with the jade pins that had been laid out. Asher watched from behind me, his expression was unreadable.
"The Zhao family is important. Old money, older connections. Mr. Zhao is the head of three state owned enterprises. His wife, Lan Yue, chairs the National Women's Federation regional committee."
I nodded, applying a red lipstick.
"They knew your father." He continued. "Invested with him twenty years ago, pulled out fifteen years ago. They'll be curious about you."
"Curious?" I repeated.
"About whether the apple falls far from the tree. About whether I've made a mistake in keeping you."
I set down the lipstick.
"And what would you like me to show them?"
"That you're loyal to me, and not to your family name, not to your father's legacy."
I turned to face him.
"And how do I show that?"
I could see surprise in his eyes. Maybe because he didn't expect so much questions from me.
"You defer to me in conversation. You speak well of my decisions. You make it clear that your marriage to me is the most important thing in your life." He adjusted his watch. "You make them believe you choose me every day."
Choose.
"I understand." I said.
He studied my face for a moment, as if searching for cracks in my composure. But he found none.
"Good. The car is waiting."
The Zhao family lived in a huge property in the city's most posh location. Asher's hand was on my lower back as we approached their door. His touch was becoming familiar now.
"Mr. Wang, Mrs. Wang." The butler opened the door. "Welcome. The family is expecting you."
We were led through a courtyard garden, past antique furniture that had probably been in the house for generations, and into a dining room that was both intimate and imposing.
Mr. Zhao stood immediately. His wife, Lan Yue, remained seated but nodded her head graciously.
"Asher." Mr. Zhao said warmly, extending his hand. "Good to see you."
"Mr. Zhao, Mrs. Zhao." Asher shook hands with them. "Thank you for having us."
Then Mr. Zhao's eyes turned to me, and I felt the weight of his assessment.
"Welcome Rysa." His smile was pleasant. "Finally we properly meet. We've heard so much about you."
"Mr. Zhao, Mrs. Zhao." I said. "Thank you for welcoming us into your beautiful home."
Lan Yue's eyes scanned me. She noticed my qipao, my pearls, my jade pins.
"Please, sit." She said. "We were just discussing the upcoming charity auction. I understand you'll be attending, Rysa?"
"Yes." I replied, taking the seat Asher held out for me beside him, it was close enough that our arms brushed. "I'm looking forward to it."
"Your first major public appearance since..." Lan Yue paused "...recent events."
"Yes." I replied without any explanation.
Asher held my hand under the table, his fingers lacing through mine in a gesture that looked affectionate but to me it felt like a warning.
"Rysa has been handling everything with remarkable grace. I'm very proud of her." Asher said.
"As you should be." Mr. Zhao said, accepting a glass of wine from a servant. "Family scandal is never easy but a strong marriage can weather any storm."
"Indeed." Asher agreed.
His thumb traced a small circle on the back of my hand. It was an intimate gesture, but he did it so casually that it almost felt real.
The meal was full of traditional dishes and conversation. There was steamed fish with ginger and scallions, dongpo pork that melted on the tongue, vegetables carved into artistic shapes. Each dish was a masterpiece.
Lan Yue asked about my interests, my charitable work, my plans now that I was "more involved" in Asher's world. I answered carefully, always talking about how supportive Asher was, how much I'd learned from him, how fortunate I felt. The lies tasted like ash, but I smiled nonetheless.
"And your mother?" Mr. Zhao asked, refilling my wine glass himself. "How is she managing?"
"As well as can be expected." I said. "It's a difficult time for the family."
But the truth was I wasn't able to contact her at all.
"But you have Asher. That must be a comfort." Lan Yue commented.
Asher's hand held mine but this time on top of the table where everyone could see.
"It is." I said, and this time I didn't have to fake the emotion in my voice.
Because it was true but in a horrible way. I did have Asher. I had only Asher. He'd made sure of that.
"Marriage is a partnership." Asher said. "Rysa and I face everything together."
He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed my knuckles. The Zhaos smiled. But my heart cracked a bit.
Why so much touching all of a sudden??
"Beautiful. You can always tell a true partnership." Lan Yue said.
Could you? I wanted to ask. Could you really or did you just see what people wanted you to see?
But I smiled instead, because that's what Mrs. Wang did.
The dinner went well. In other words, it went as Asher wanted it to be. The Zhao's were impressed by us, by our marriage. After having delicious dinner and cautious conversations we left their home on a very good note.
The car drive back felt little different now. Asher loosened his tie with one hand, his other hand was resting on the seat between us. His hand wasn't touching me now, but it was close.
"You did well tonight." He said.
"Thank you."
"Lan Yue was impressed. I could tell."
"Good."
Then, he turned to look at me.
"You're angry."
"No." I said.
"Rysa."
"I'm tired." I corrected, which was true, but incomplete.
Suddenly, his hand moved, his fingers brushed my cheek. It was so unexpected that I flinched.
"You're trembling." He observed.
"It's cold."
"It's 25 degrees."
I said nothing. Then, his thumb traced my cheekbone. It was the first time he was touching me in a private space, when we were alone, when we didn't have to pretend. And I hated how my body leaned into the touch despite everything.
"You were perfect tonight. Exactly what I needed you to be."
What I needed you to be.
"That's what you pay for." I finally said before I could stop myself.
"What?"
"The clothes, the jewelry, the new phone. I'm earning my keep, aren't I? That's what you said."
"Is that what you think?" His voice was dangerous.
"Isn't it what you meant?"
His hand dropped from my face.
"You have misunderstood the situation."
"Then explain it to me."
"I'm protecting you. I'm protecting us. Everything I've done…"
"You deleted my contacts." I interrupted. "You cut me off from everyone I know. You dressed me like a doll and told me to earn my place. So please, Asher, explain how I've misunderstood."
The car was so quiet I could hear both our breaths.
"Your family's scandal put you in danger. Socially, financially, and legally. Everything I've done has been to shield you from that, to give you the protection of my name, my resources, my position."
"By isolating me?"
"By simplifying your life so you don't make mistakes."
Mistakes. Like calling my mother. Like having any existence separate from him.
"I see." I whispered.
He reached for me again, but I moved away, leaning against the car door. His jaw tightened.
"Rysa…"
"I'm grateful." I said. "Really. You're right. I was tired. I misunderstood."
He studied me for a long moment. Then he nodded, and settled back into his seat.
"7 AM tomorrow." He reminded me. "Don't forget."
"I won't."
The rest of the drive passed in silence. His hand stayed on his side of the seat, mine twisted the pearl bracelet on my wrist. When we reached the penthouse, he went straight to his office.
I went to the bedroom which was our bedroom now and removed the qipao, the pearls, the jade pins. I placed each piece to its assigned place in the closet. Then I pulled on the red sweater they'd let me keep and sat on the window seat, staring out at the city.
His kiss on my knuckles had felt real.
His touch on my cheek had felt tender.
And that was the most dangerous thing of all.
Because for a moment at the Zhao dinner, I'd almost believed it. I almost let myself imagine that the man holding my hand actually cared about me, not just about what I represented.
Outside, the city was shining with the stars I couldn't reach, and inside, I was learning that the cruelest prison was one that looked like affection.