Great General Shen stood before the map table, his hand on his chin as he studied the marked territories with narrowed eyes. Across from him, Shen Han stood silently. He tried to look calm, but inside, his mind was restless.
The news reached Hua three days after it was announced. The Tughril Khan was to wed.
"In about a week," the General said at last, his voice calm but firm, "the wedding will be held."
Shen Han's fingers tightened slightly against the edge of the table. "And?"
"And during weddings," General Shen continued, "the palace fills with guests. People are celebrating, and soldiers lower their guard." He turned then, looking at Shen Han with a steady gaze. "This is when the Chancellor will move."
Shen Han breathed out slowly. He felt a heavy weight in his chest. "What does this have to do with us?"
General Shen did not hesitate. "We will assist."
Shen Han's head snapped up. "Assist? You want to send our soldiers to help a rebellion in another country? Father, that is madness. If this is exposed—"
"It won't be," the General cut him off, his voice chillingly calm. "Not if executed correctly."
Shen Han began to pace, frustration clearly shown on his face. "You are risking our army for their politics."
"No," the General replied evenly. "I am securing our own future."
The words gave a sharp twist to his chest. Shen Han froze mid-step. He stared at the map, tracing with a fingertip the route of the proposed deployment, imagining the movements, the lives that would be caught in his own cowardice.
Yes, he knew he was a coward. Too weak to storm the Tughril gates and rescue Lian Zhi with his own hands, he was instead choosing to hide behind his father's shadows. He was allowing a treasonous plot to unfold, willing to sacrifice the lives of thousands of his own men, all to buy back the woman he had let go.
He was trading the blood of the innocent for a second chance at a love he had already failed to protect. Every life lost in the coming revolt would be a stain on his soul, a price paid in red just so he could hold her again.
Was it all worth it?
"The Chancellor has promised," the General continued, "that once their revolt succeeds and he secures the throne, he will provide the military support we need for our own revolt."
Shen Han's throat went dry. "Revolt?" he muttered. The word felt bitter in his mouth.
"Don't worry, we will not spill the blood of the innocent," General Shen said, his tone almost paternal. "Ours will be clean. Efficient."
"Then you will rise," the General added, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial silk. "Everything you desire, Shen Han... you will finally have it."
Shen Han looked out the window. He was torn. The plan was dangerous and wrong, but it was the only way to get what he wanted: to bring Lian Zhi back to him.
"I will begin deploying my men to the borders," General Shen said, his voice sounding distant even to his own ears. "We will wait there for the signal."
"And you?"
"I will lead them. I will make sure their lives are not wasted."
His father's words didn't calm the anguish inside him. Shen Han lowered his head to look at the floor, feeling guilty for betraying the Emperor and risking the lives of his men, but his heart wanted Lian Zhi more than anything.
***
That night, Shen Han returned to his chambers restless, unable to settle his mind.
Lian Yue was waiting for him, reclining across the bed, with her silk loose in an intentionally provocative way. "You're late," she said lightly, her tone sweet and seductive.
"I'm tired," Shen Han replied, walking past her without a glance.
She laughed softly. "You've been 'tired' for weeks, husband."
He ignored her, pouring himself a cup of wine he did not drink, letting it sit untouched on the low table.
She rose, gliding toward him, fingers brushing his sleeve with casual intimacy.
He turned sharply. "Enough."
Her smile thinned, but she did not retreat. "You know you have to give in, Shen Han. If not..." she paused, tilting her head. "I will remind the court exactly what your father has been secretly plotting."
The threat was quiet... but effective.
Shen Han closed his eyes briefly. The weight of duty, love, and revenge pressed against his lungs until he could barely breathe. "Just a little longer," he murmured, the words meant for himself, not for her.
He gave in to her without desire, without passion. When it was over, he lay awake, staring at the ceiling.
"Just a little bit more," he told himself again. "Then I will be free."
Shen Han stared at the sleeping Lian Yue beside him. She slept with a faint smile, as though savoring a small victory. Then his mind resolved. He would not endure this any longer... he couldn't.
Slowly, his lips curved into a smile, and a small chuckle escaped him. The helplessness in his eyes was now gone, replaced by something darker.
Lian Yue had no idea that what she believed she had won was already slipping from her fingers. Her triumph was temporary, and its end was already decided.
Rising slowly, he walked to the window. Cool night air brushed his face through the open pane. He allowed himself to imagine the future, dangerous as that was. If the revolt succeeded, if the palace fell into chaos… then perhaps there would be a moment when he could reclaim what fate and war had stolen from him.
His gaze drifted back to the bed.
Lian Yue still slept peacefully, smiling. The sight of it made something twist violently in his stomach. The memory of her touch felt like grime crawling beneath his skin. He felt filthy.
I don't deserve Lian Zhi, he thought.
He turned away at once, unable to look any longer, and left the chamber without looking back. In the adjoining room, he ordered the maids to prepare a bath.
He needed the water. Needed something that could strip her residue from his skin, erase the evidence of what he had allowed himself to become. He needed to feel clean again. Worthy again. Even if only in his own mind.
But even as he waited, he knew.
No matter how hot the water or how hard he brushed his skin, some stains did not wash away.
And some things could never be undone.