Chapter 91 - The feeling of nothingness!

Well, seeing the elf and others also settling in the water, we sighed and started to play among ourselves, and the guy was also pretty interested in the game, so we were enjoying ourselves in the water, but a strange feeling struck my heart in the middle of this fun. I saw a glimpse of a kid, a kid who was really grimy and was just staring at me from a distance. Seeing him standing on the side so strangely, I gestured towards Otaku and others to ask what the deal was with this kid, but strangely no one was able to see him or even feel his presence, but I was clearly able to feel some familiar energy from him, and his gaze was looking way too strange, as if the kid was just feeling betrayed or maybe left out. So I quickly rushed towards him, but the moment I reached him, I saw that the entire space from outside started to lose its every color; the sky started to lose its blue color, and the land started to lose its green color, while the trees and other things just faded into dust and smoke. So seeing it, I looked back to check on Otaku and others, but strangely no one was there, and in front of me the kid was on the ground, sitting in his own numbness, entangled in countless shackles, and his face was just as dull as ever. While his eyes didn't match his condition, his eyes had a feeling of betrayal in them, as if he had been betrayed by someone he long trusted, and now it had just vanished into thin air. So seeing him, I started to recognize his face a little, the face that I had long forgotten, the face of a kid that I once was. So seeing him in person and looking at me in this strange manner, I started to feel way too vulnerable, as if my entire soul was being crushed by my own self and this kid kept staring at me with his watery eyes but unable to cry, all the tears that came to his eyes, dried in them only, not a single tears came out of his eyes and he was just staring at me, as if he was expecting something but I tried to take a deep breath but suddenly the air started to feel way too heavy and I started to suffocation, the very same suffocation that inherited me since my previous birth, so seeing him, I fell on ground near him while rubbing my palm on his head and I spoke with pretty heavy tone " Kid, just cry already, you don't have to become what others expect from you, you have to live for yourself, you can't just live in these shackles!" Hearing my words, he looked at me with pure disgust and rage and spoke, "WHAT DO YOU EVEN KNOW? If I don't sit like this, then somebody is going to hurt me, ok? Whether it will be Mom or Dad, friends, or other adults, everybody just hurts me, so why should I leave this place? And here nobody disturbs me. Do you even know how nice it was to live here, how nice it felt when we both used to live here? But you bastard, you betrayed me. We promised each other that we will always remain alone, no matter the circumstances; no matter who comes into our lives or who comes around, we will always remain alone with each other, but you broke that promise. You are nothing but a creep who breaks promises. You left me alone the moment you got people around you. You remember right, how those kids or people who we called our friends betrayed us, how that loving mother used to control us, and how that father used to hit us for the slightest bit of mistakes. Do you remember the suffocation that we felt around the people? Do you again want to get suffocated?" Hearing his words, I looked at him, and a pretty heavy pain struck my heart, as if I was just hit somewhere deep where there was some deep and heavy old wound present, so surely now I remember why this kid was in these shackles. These shackles were not created by people; these shackles were created by us, the feelings and expectations from every person around us, and the feeling of suffocation that just swallows you entirely when you struggle for a way out, but all you get are people around you. No matter how much we tried to mix, we just never even managed to mix with others, not with parents, not with people around us. The teachings of childhood surely made me feel nothing but suffocated, like how every everything I did looked like a mistake and how everything we tried just kept more back from everyside, unable to produce results, just the very same thing that corrode my entire life, the so called friends in the childhood were nothing but just some leechers, who just knew how to suck up to me whenever I had anything and then treat like nobody when they couldn't find anything their liking in me, so mainly all trash just piling at single place, the struggle of domestic fighting among parents and brother, surely didn't let me sleep any night and every night we just were meant to keep our ears close to not hear the sounds of shouting and screaming. So mostly the kid was still in this phase, feeling himself anything, while I was unable to feel even that much. At least he is able to cry, but I just can't because I long lost my emotions. For many years I just drank and made my nights and days. So mostly I was feeling more empty than even him. He might be thinking that I just left him alone in this darkness, but who will tell him that we just took our share of our darkness with us and we moved forward because darkness was more loyal and loving to us than anyone ever could? So I guess I should give this kid a reality check so that he won't have to just corrode himself in this place.