Camila's living room looked emptier than it used to not because anything had change, but because I was leaving it for good.
The last of my things sat in two medium boxes by the door, clothes, Old notebooks, pieces of a life I had lived before Alessandro's house swallowed me whole.
A month.
One whole month of living under the same roof with a man who felt more absent than a stranger.
I folded a sweater slowly my hands shaking.
"That's everything." I murmured though my chest felt far from empty.
Camila leaned against the kitchen counter arms crossed, watching me with that look she always had when she knew I was barely holding myself together.
"You've barely spoken since you came in." she said gently.
I tried to shrug it off but failed woefully.
"It's like living with a ghost." I whispered.
"We only talk when Lorencio is around. When he's asleep it's just..... silence."
Camila came closer sitting beside me on the couch.
"What about him? Alessandro?"
"He tries in his own way. He stays in his office till I fall asleep then comes into the room after. Leaves before I wake up."
"Sometimes I don't even know if he slept there at all."
My voice cracked.
"It's worse than fighting." I admitted.
"At least anger means you're seen."
The tears came then... I bent forward, my face in my hands.
"I'm so tired Camila." I sobbed.
"I feel like I'm disappearing again."
She wrapped her arms around me immediately pulling me into her chest, rubbing my back slowly.
"I know." she murmured.
"I know how strong you are Aria. But even strong people break when they're forced to carry everything alone."
I cried harder....
"What if this is my life now?" I whispered.
"Pretending, smiling for my son, sleeping beside a man who feels a thousand miles away."
Camila pulled back just enough to look at me. Her eyes were soft, but serious.
"Then maybe it's time you stop pretending." she said carefully.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean...… you can't keep living like this. You and Alessandro are bleeding in silence."
"Someone has to speak."
I shook my head weakly.
"He doesn't listen. He just make decisions."
"Maybe." she said.
"But maybe he doesn't know how broken you are right now, and maybe he's just as lost, hiding behind work and control because that's all he knows."
I looked down at my hands.
"I'm scared." I admitted.
"What if I talk and it changes nothing?"
Camila squeezed my fingers.
"And what if it changes everything?"
The room fell quiet.
"I can't keep doing this." I whispered again
"It's killing me."
She smiled softly.
"Then talk to him, not as his enemy, not as someone cornered."
"Talk to him as the woman who survived him..... and still chose to stand by his side. "
I leaned into her shoulder exhausted but lighter.
...............…
By the time I got home my bones ached.
I'd called Lorenzo's nanny earlier.
She told me he was already asleep tucked in tight.
I still went to his room...…
The door creaked softly as I pushed it open. Moonlight spilled across his bed, catching on his curls..... thick, unruly, falling into his eyes just like his father's. My heart swelled painfully at the sight.
God...…. He looked so much like his father. My son.... So beautiful, so pure. I leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead, lingering a second longer than I should have, breathing him in like I needed the memory to survive the night. Then I pulled back quietly and closed the door behind me.
Alessandro wasn't supposed to be home yet.
I dragged myself toward the bedroom, already half asleep on my feet. The moment I pushed the door open...
I froze.....
He was there...… on the bed..... awake, laptop open. He had a white sweatshirt and matching pants. His hair pulled into a loose messy bun at the nape of his neck. Glasses resting on his nose, softening his sharp features just enough to make my chest ache.
He looked… unfairly beautiful.... Like something I wasn't meant to stand too close to.
I suddenly felt small..... unworthy of the view....
His voice snapped me back.
"Why are you late?"
Cold, flat with no warmth.
"I went to Camila's. I thought I'd be home earlier."
"And why didn't you inform me?"
That pushed whatever button I was holding on to.
I lifted my head irritation flashing through the exhaustion.
"I didn't know I was a slave." I said sharply.
"I didn't know I needed permission to see my friend."
He slowly lowered the laptop onto the bed, took off his glasses, set them aside with deliberate calmness. Then he raised a brow.
The silence stretched.
I didn't wait for him either...…
I turned, already moving toward the closet. I didn't have the strength for this tonight. I reached for the handle.....
"Aria."
His voice stopped me but I didn't turn.
"When did you become this...… stubborn?" he asked quietly.
"Since when do you speak to me like this?"
I laughed bitterly still facing away from him.
"Since I stopped being the girl you left behind." I said.
"I'm not that Aria anymore. You should get used to it. Things have changed so stop this foolishness."
Something flew past me...…. It landed on the floor with a heavy thud.
I flinched and turned.
My heart dropped straight into my stomach.
The diary...….
My diary...…..
The old one I hid carefully. I stared at it, disbelief roaring in my ears.
How...…..?
How did he get it?
He stood slowly taking a step towards me.... Then another.... But this time there was no rage in his eyes nor hatered. What I saw instead made my breath hitch.
Pain...….
"I read it," he said quietly.
"You had no right," I whispered.
"You're right," he said.
"I didn't."
He stopped in front of me close enough that I could feel the heat of him but he didn't touch me.
"I was angry." he continued.
"I wanted proof...… I wanted something... anything that justified everything I've been feeling."
His jaw clenched.
"And instead...... I found you bleeding on paper."
My vision blurred.
"I didn't know." he said voice rough now.
"I didn't know you were so scared... so alone...….. I...…"
A tear slipped down my cheek.
"I was terrified." I whispered.
"I know." he said.
Silence fell between us...…..
"I thought you used me." he admitted.
"I thought you manipulated me. I thought you never loved me."
My chest broke open.
"I didn't trust you." I said through tears.
"I was scared. I didn't know how to reach you. I thought if I did you'd leave for good."
His eyes darkened... not with anger, but grief.
"I never stopped loving you." he said quietly.
"Not once."
That was my breaking point. I covered my mouth a sob tearing out of me. He closed the distance immediately pulling me into his chest, arms wrapping around me like he was afraid I'd disappear if he loosened his grip.
I cried into him..... years of pain, fear, loneliness pouring out of me.
"I'm sorry," he whispered into my hair.
"For leaving.... For not searching harder...…. For coming back like this."
I clutched his sweatshirt, fingers trembling.
"I'm tired." I sobbed.
"I'm so tired of feeling this way."
"I know." he murmured.
"I see you now."
He rested his forehead against mine.
"We cant fix everything tonight." he said softly.
"But we'll stop hurting each other like this."
I nodded weakly and for the first time since he came back...….. I had hope...… hope that things might actually change for the better. And for the first time in a long time... I didn't feel alone.