Grey Nirmala
Cinder was leading me somewhere in the forest, though I had no idea where. The air was dark but not frightening. The Crimson Moon, glittering in the sky, guided our way.
"I'm so bored. Let's go kill someone!"
Hachiko suddenly popped up in my head. I sighed and ignored the irritating voice grumbling inside my skull.
"Oh, come on, Grey! We've been walking for almost an hour, and you're telling me this isn't a problem?"
Hachiko started arguing with himself. Despite that annoying voice, having him with me made me happy. At least I wasn't alone.
"Oh, Grey! Thank you so much, my dear companion.""Just please shut up."
I raged, but just Hachiko snickered.
"Don't try to act so tough. You're only embarrassing yourself more."
He kept giggling as he talked. "What? I'm not the one who walked up to Raya and said, 'I'll do it if you want me to.'"
My face flushed as that stale, mortifying moment flashed in my mind. No matter how hard I tried to pull myself together, I couldn't make progress because of Hachiko.
"Damn it…"
I cursed under my breath.
"Hey, Cyran!"
Cinder called to me from up ahead.
"We can rest here."
He pointed to a small but safe-looking spot, ringed by thick-trunked, gray-leaved trees.
"Finally… A little rest does everyone good."
Hachiko yawned cheerfully. Even though the spot Cinder showed me looked safe, I couldn't shake the unease in my chest. I'd been promised "small and safe" places before. And then those safe places were torn away from me. They came and went. They left me alone in this world. I stopped in the very center of the clearing and examined the supposedly safe space a little more. The soil was soft and warm. Because the giant trees blocked out the Crimson Moon's light, the only illumination here came from the orange motes drifting in the air. I still didn't know what they were. The uncertainty gnawed at me more with each passing second.
"Is something bothering you?"
Cinder stood before me. I took a deep breath in and out.
"No, it just… doesn't feel like such a good place to me."
Cinder smiled and then sat down on the earthen ground. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a packet. It looked like a cigarette pack, but a bit different from the ones I'd seen before. He opened it, and my guess was right. An unlit cigarette rolled between his fingers. He reached into his pocket again and took out a lighter. Before lighting it, he glanced at me once, then returned his eyes to the cigarette. The lit tip burned not orange but a purplish hue. He took it from his mouth and blew out smoke.
"Want one?"
I sat down on the soil as he had, trailing my right hand over the soft surface.
"No."
I said without any hesitation or bitterness.
"That's good. In this age, kids your age always have these in their hands."
Cinder drew in the smoke and exhaled.
"It actually makes me happy that you trust me. Most people fear me and run."
It felt strange that the old man was giving me personal details about himself. After all, I'd been ready to kill him. To ease the tension between us, I sat facing him. The earth wasn't uncomfortable, in fact, it calmed me. Hundreds of orange motes swirled around us, and aetheric particles drifted among them.
"You helped me. That's why I trust you. Thank you."
Cinder took the cigarette from his mouth and smiled.
"It's nothing, kid. But I have to ask, exactly which ascendency are you from?"
"We're screwed."
Hachiko reacted before I did. Our reaction was the same. What was I supposed to tell Cinder? An unfamiliar world, a place I was lost in. Even lying might not save me. Ascendency… what did that even mean? A city, a country, a continent… Cinder would catch on instantly if I lied. My eyes drifted to the aetheric particles dancing around us. Could they help me? Guide me somehow? I'd already realized Hachiko couldn't. I was truly alone right now.
"Why do you want to know that?"
I spoke a little sharply. I'd answer his questions with my own and buy time, for as long as that worked.
"I have no reason to give you information."
Cinder's eyes narrowed; and he grinned with amusement.
"You're a clever brat. Alright, since you want a reason, I'll give you one."
He flicked the cigarette off into the forest.
"The Forest of Spirits is ringed entirely by the River of Time. To get here, you would've had to cross it first. And given your condition, it's not hard to guess that would be impossible."
His gaze sharpened; he straightened his posture.
"Now please, Cyran, tell me about yourself."
Yea... My time was up. What would happen now? What should I do?
"Aether…"
"Aether?"
Cinder echoed me.
"Aether brought me here."
I said without any particular emotion behind it. Afterall half-truths are always better than lies. I knew bringing up aether was dangerous, but I was ready to take that risk.
"Aether. Aether did all of it. I was researching aether, but I guess I went too far. When I opened my eyes, I was here."
Cinder's gray eyes widened. He parted his lips to speak, but no word came out. His eyes fell to the ground; his smile vanished.
"H—how? How could a kid this young control aether to this degree? By holy Tarn…"
His voice trembled with fear.
"You're not just any ordinary awakened… No. You did with aether what millions could not. Zero…"
Tarn… what kind of stupid name is that? Who is he? A god or a king? And Zero? What the hell was that? Questions piled up, one after another, and I wasn't happy about it.
"Zero? Awakened…"
Cinder lifted his eyes from the ground and looked straight into mine.
"Right… You probably don't know the meanings of those terms."
He pressed his hand into the soft soil, scooped up a palmful, and held it out to me.
"Awakened are those who possess understanding of aether. In the Dream Realm, there are quite a lot of awakened, but the awakened have tiers among themselves."
I cupped the soil he offered with both hands. Aetheric particles trembled within the dirt. But across their purple surfaces were small but distinct cracks. Golden light gleamed from within those fissures.
"What color are those particles, to you?"
I lifted my eyes from the soil to Cinder.
"They're shining purple."
Disappointment washed over Cinder's eyes. And dismiss his eyes from me.
"But there's something else."
The instant he heard the words leave my mouth, he looked back at me with renewed hope.
"They all have cracks in them. Cracks that shine with golden light."
A huge smile spread over his face.
"You're between transitions. Soon all those aetheric particles will start shining gold for you."
I tilted my head to the side, clearly confused.
"What's the transition phase?"
I was hearing too many unfamiliar terms; my head was spinning.
"The transition phase happens between awakenings. As your understanding of aether deepens, you climb tiers between awakenings. You'll soon enter your second awakening."
"And how can you be so sure of that?"
Cinder relaxed his posture and scooped another handful of soil from the ground.
"In everyone's second awakening, the color of the aetheric particles begins to change. All awakened see aether in their own native color. You'll soon start seeing aether as gold. For example, I see aether in gray."
Incredible. There was nothing else to say. Just incredible. Learning this much at once was confusing, but I was sure I could sort it all out later.
"Wow! Finally, new information!" Hachiko laughed with delight."Oh, Grey! I can feel new knowledge filling me up. Listen to these sounds: zit-pit, dook, bib."
I sighed and tried to ignore Hachiko's shenanigans. Not easy. I forced my attention back to Cinder. The old man was giving me a strange look, as if he'd heard what Hachiko said.
"Something wrong?"
Cinder pulled himself together.
"No, no. I just felt like I heard a voice."
I nodded and silently prayed for Hachiko to shut up. I closed my eyes and reviewed what I'd learned so far. Awakenings and supernatural regions… Very strange. I opened my eyes, found new questions to ask, and looked straight into Cinder's.
"The Forest of Spirits, tell me about it."
Cinder nodded his assent.
"As you wish, Cyran."
He sighed and glanced at the orange motes around us that drifted with no particular direction.
"These orange particles around us. We call them soul motes."
I nodded to show I understood. Cinder continued:
"Soul motes carry the final moments of those who died in this forest."
"Wait—what?" I was stunned. Seeing the last moments of people here… terrifying. When Cinder saw how rattled I was, he chuckled.
"You remind me of my niece."
"Huh?"
I tried to compose myself, but now I had questions about the old man.
"You have a niece?"
Still chuckling, Cinder nodded.
"Yes. Younger than you, a curious girl. Nothing she does ever ends well."
I couldn't help it and started to laugh like:
"And her name?"
I said while continuing laughing. Seeing my expression, he looked at me as if I were his own child.
"Maya. Maya Akane."
The girl's name shook me.
"M… Maya?"
My eyes dropped to the ground. I could barely breathe. My Maya. At the edges of my vision, memories began to pass, and in them I saw myself and her. Her black eyes looked straight into my golden ones. Maya gazed at me with pity and hope. There was a cheerful smile on her face, there always was.
"Hey, do you want to play together?"
Her voice echoed in my mind. Maya held out her hand to me. The only energy I could sense from her then was joy. At first, I'd hesitated to take her hand, but my hatred of loneliness pushed me to accept it. When she saw I'd taken it, she giggled, and a radiant smile spread across her face. That shining smile pulled me in like a black hole. Black hole… It felt like I'd heard that phrase before, but I refused to think more about it at the time.
"Your eyes are so interesting."
Maya bounced where she stood, full of delight. I tried to keep up with her, but it was impossible. It was hard to match the girl's joy and tenderness. She let go of my hand and ran toward the light.
"Come on! I don't want you to fall too far behind!"
She called to me from afar. I tried to run as fast as I could to catch her, but no matter what I did, I could never reach her. And the closer I got, the farther she moved away. I shouted for her to wait, but she couldn't hear me. And in the end, the darkness rose. I was alone again. My first and only friend had left me. I tried to speak to the people around me, but they all ignored me because I was just a child. The kids at school mocked me because of these disgusting golden eyes, and with each passing day, the darkness climbed higher. It pulled me in, slowly, just as it had pulled Maya. I couldn't stop the darkness, I didn't want to. But a light stopped it. A light pulled me out of it. It smiled at me and helped me. My salvation and my happiness… Raya, looking at me with a big, radiant smile.
"You need to take better care of yourself, Grey. At this rate, you'll be no different from a helpless bird locked in a cage."
Yes, I would have been… but you prevented it. You showed me a path, and a reason. Because of Raya, I became like this. She changed me. That's why I saved Sunny that day. Even though I didn't admit it back then, I didn't want Sunny bound to the same fate. I didn't want him to become like Maya. I couldn't save Maya, but I could save others. And maybe then I could fill the hollowness inside me, fill it with life and joy again. After all, despite everything, I was still a person. I had feelings, emotions. I could laugh and cry. I might need a mother in times, I could wrestle with an annoying big sister and have fun at the same time. I could want a friend by my side. I wasn't an anomaly with strange golden eyes. I was just someone who wanted to be loved. I was a human