…Swoooosh…
"…This rain's not letting up," I muttered.
"Yeah, it's relentless~…" Roboco sighed.
"Nothing to do, huh~…" Aqua added.
Mid-summer's in full swing, but today's weather is a mess. After days of sunshine, a massive storm's hit, with pouring rain and a typhoon looming, making it impossible to go outside. So here I am, Sasaki Reiji, stuck in my living room with Roboco and our latest sleepover guest, lounging like sloths.
"Hey, Master~… I'm hungry~…" Aqua whined.
"Then make something," I said, rolling my eyes.
"No way, I can't cook!" she huffed, sprawled on the sofa, fiddling with her phone and yawning.
You call yourself a maid? I shot a glance at Minato Aqua, the self-proclaimed "dud maid" of Hololive. Seriously, what part of her screams "maid"?
"But, Master, Aqua-chan's right—there's barely anything in the fridge," Roboco pointed out.
"Yeah, that's the problem…" I sighed.
With no chance to go shopping in this storm, the fridge is down to seaweed, carrots, and onions. Best we could whip up is a sad, healthy salad.
"Guess we'll order delivery… if anyone's even delivering in this weather—Ding-dong!" I paused. "Who's that in this storm?"
I was about to call for takeout when the doorbell rang. Who'd brave this weather? Can't be a solicitor in this mess. Might as well check it out…
"Yes, yes, who's there—?" I called, opening the door.
Click!
"Hiii, Master! Your loyal pup, Tamaki Inuyama, is here~♪—SLAM!" The door shut in her face. "Click!"
"Master, what was that noise~?" Roboco called from the living room.
"Just some religious solicitor," I said, brushing it off.
"Hey, hold on! Why'd you slam the door?!" Tamaki yelled, banging on it. "Bang bang bang! I came all this way in the rain, and this is how you treat me?!"
Stop pounding the door, you're so loud! I was trying to pretend I didn't see her, but no such luck.
Ugh, she'll break the door if she keeps this up. Fine, I'll let her in…
Click… SLAM!
"What the heck?! Why'd you shut it again?!" Tamaki shrieked. "I came to hang out in this storm!"
"Look, you caught me off guard, and my instincts just… rejected you," I admitted.
"Rejected me?! Is bullying me that fun?!" she wailed.
It's not bullying, and my instincts did scream no. I sighed, eyeing Tamaki Inuyama, the "male maid" in a frilly dress from Noripro. With her cute face, she could pass for a girl, but she's a guy who insists on being a "male daughter." Is that even different from cross-dressing?
"Quit yelling and come in already," I grumbled.
"Jeez, Master's so mean~♪ Acting all tough when you're secretly thrilled to see me~," she teased. "I said, come in or get out." "Eek, sorry, sorry! I've got a reason to be here, so let me in—I'm soaked and freezing!"
So noisy. She's starting to sound like Marine. "Tamaki, what's with all the boxes? That's a lot of stuff."
"Oh, yeah! I brought gifts~ Food for lunch and a ton of Gunpla I know you'll love~♪" she chirped.
Seriously? The plastic bag's probably food, but all those boxes are Gunpla? That's awesome, but my backlog's about to explode. Let's get this to the living room.
"Master, what was all the noise—why's Tamaki-kun here?!" Aqua gasped, her face souring the moment she spotted Tamaki.
"Yo, Aqua-chan, Roboco-san, long time~♪ You two crashing at Master's place too?" Tamaki grinned.
Aqua's glare could've curdled milk. What's her deal?
"Yup, we're having a sleepover," Aqua said icily. "But why do you keep calling Master 'Master'? You're not even Hololive!"
"What's the big deal? He's my Master~♪ Besides, unlike you, I can actually handle housework. Doesn't that make me the better maid?" Tamaki teased.
"Hiss! I could do housework if I wanted to!" Aqua snapped.
What are you two even fighting over? Aqua's a disaster at chores—her "cleaning" makes rooms messier, and she once dumped a whole bottle of detergent into the laundry.
"No way you can handle housework," Tamaki scoffed. "Plus, I can do other things… like nighttime duties~♪"
"What?! Master would enjoy me way more! Back off, you… you cross-dresser!" Aqua shot back.
"I'm not a cross-dresser, I'm a male daughter! Get it right!" Tamaki yelled.
Who cares?! And no way am I doing "nighttime duties" with either of them—especially not a dude! Growing up in a small-town family, my parents raised me to be practical and grounded, so I've got zero interest in that nonsense.
"Hey, Master, I'm ready to help with your needs anytime~♪" Roboco piped up.
"Don't jump in like you read my mind! Nobody asked for that!" I groaned.
What's wrong with this robot? Meanwhile, Aqua and Tamaki are practically having a catfight.
"Enough, you two!" I barked.
"But this cross-dresser—!" Aqua started.
"You calling me out, you useless maid?!" Tamaki fired back.
Snap.
"I SAID KNOCK IT OFF!" I roared, smacking both their heads.
"OWWWW!" they yelped in unison.
They're as bad as Miko and Suisei were. Can't they chill for one second?