You turn your eyes away from what you must see. You close your ears from what you must hear. You close your mouth from things you must say. This is... a betrayal of oneself.
Isaac: "Huh??"
Hagen: "Those two nights I spent watching you, not once did I see you sleep. And even now, when I look at you, I can tell you haven't slept a day since. Your eyes, your sluggish movements, we're all starting to get worried for you."
Was it ok for Isaac to confide in another? Every step he took, the feeling of a million nails piercing his skin reverberated through his body. Every time he spoke, the feeling of sand being shoved down his throat flooded his mind. A sad existence was Isaac. He was tired. If the opportunity arose, he would throw away whatever dormant power was resting inside of him. He wanted out of this agony. Yet still, when he saw the face of Hagen, worried for his wellbeing, he felt as if the truth would only hurt him more. The more ignorant someone was, the less it would hurt. The knowledge that someone you loved was being tormented the entire time without your knowledge—what good would that knowledge bring?
Isaac: "I've been trying to. This body, this mind, it seems as if it has trouble being at rest. And although it clouds my mind throughout the day, I assure you that my deteriorating physical appearance is just that. I feel great really."
Hagen, looking a little doubtful, gently grabbed ahold of Isaac's shoulder.
Hagen: "Even if you feel great, the body still needs sleep. Even the God of Water Dayama can't go more than 2 weeks without sleep."
Isaac: "It's fine. Even though I can't every day, I still get some sleep every once in a while."
It hurts to lie. Even when you believe it is the right thing to do, it still drains your soul. Isaac, to the people who were all he knew, had tainted the kindness they had showed him. Even so, if it's to protect them from the unknown, Isaac was willing to take that shame.
Hagen: "Well, if you say so. Heiman should be coming back tomorrow morning, so we could offer you some of the sleep medication he's bringing."
Isaac: "No, I'm seriously fine. More importantly, I wanted to talk with you for a moment about something."
Hagen: "What is it?"
Isaac: "I've done some thinking, and I feel as if now is the right time to go on a new path. As much as it pains me to leave you all after getting to know and care for all of you, it pains me more to be content with knowing nothing. Without my memories, I feel as if I'm becoming too dependent on a family that shouldn't be obligated to take care of me. The reason for my power as well as my insomnia, all of it could be answered if I can regain those memories. So tonight, I will head north towards the city to begin my search."
Hagen: "You know, I'm just now realizing I never told you about why I left the army."
Isaac: "I can't say I'm not intrigued, but how does it relate to the prior conversation?"
Hagen: "You may think it has no relation, but as I look at you now, I can tell that this information can be of great use to you."
Isaac knew from the look in Hagen's eyes that it was futile to refuse. They showed no signs of wavering, so reluctantly, Isaac motioned for Hagen to commence his story.
Hagen: "I guess all good stories start with a bit of backstory. When I was younger, I was a naive kid searching for purpose in my life. Much like you, I was alone, without a family, and bore strength that I did not yet understand. I was extremely poor, and although my ability was nowhere near as refined as it is now, I used it to steal food from the locals. I started off by stealing the leftovers that the rich did not finish as to not bring attention to myself. As long as I continued to do that, I would be able to live a tedious yet decent life despite my circumstances. That being said, I eventually became too accustomed to my thievery and unfortunately decided to branch out of just leftovers. As time went on, the villagers in the area began noticing that many of their prized possessions came up missing, eventually seeing them end up in the local shops. I experienced a short period of wealth, but unfortunately, karma would come to get me as the robberies would all end up tracing back to me. I was ousted from the village, and just when my time there seemed to be reaching its conclusion, a man which I knew nothing of, going by the name Franz, saw something in me that nobody else could see. He took me in under his wing, and his promise to feed me every day was enough for me to stay obedient for a while. Franz was a bit odd, clearly being quite the powerful person himself, but to everyone around, including myself, it felt as if he was wasting his time with a thief like me. Eventually, when the villagers found out he had taken me into his home, they would begin to berate him with insults. Yet even after that, he stuck with me and never gave up. He was tough on me, having me do rigorous training in terrible conditions to practice keeping my ability on passively. At times I told myself I wanted to quit, but in the end, I knew deep down that he was doing it from a place of love. After everything we went through together, I started to view him and call him my father. Despite the abuse he endured for raising a thief, he would still care for me and assist in my training when he wasn't working. He told me that with my ability, I could save multitudes of people. That with enough training, I could one day become the hero that he wasn't able to become."
Isaac: "A hero, huh."
Hagen: "I know right! It started with the small things: stopping petty theft, helping local detectives with investigations, pretty much any simple task my ability allowed for. Little by little, I began to believe that I could one day change the perceptions others had of me as long as I continued doing the right thing. On one such day, I came across a lovely girl, one who I instantly fell for upon laying eyes on her. She was adored by everyone in the town, constantly helping out in ways that I truly admired. She was everything that I wasn't. Kind, talkative, understanding, selfless; she was the embodiment of the heroism I wished I had."
Isaac: "I'm guessing that turned out to be your wife then?"
Hagen: "Correct. Her beautiful blonde hair, her hazel-colored eyes, her perfectly pale skin. All of it enamored me. Her father was a well-respected businessman in the town who was incredibly charitable to the townspeople. They were everything my father and I were not. Yet still, the days we would cross paths in the city, she would treat us the same way she treated everyone else. And as I was absolutely in love with her, I would constantly invite her out just to get the chance to see her."
It was understandable. From Isaac's first time meeting her, she accepted him as one of her own, not once displaying any hostility towards him. To Isaac, she was a pure soul who would help anybody that was in need, and he too loved her for that.
Hagen: "We slowly became closer to each other, telling secrets very few knew about us. Despite my willingness to become someone more capable of helping others, there were few who accepted me, even despite my efforts to change. It was only Eleanor and my father who accepted the new me, yet despite that, I felt as if that was all I needed to be fulfilled in life. Even if nobody saw me as a hero, as long as I could make the two most important people to me happy, I felt like it was more than enough. Unfortunately, despite my greatest wishes, the calm days I shared with them would eventually come to an end."
Isaac: "How so?"
Hagen: "It was a day like every other where I found myself surveilling the town using my ability. Despite the fact that my desire to be a hero was wavering, Franz continued to push me to that goal. It felt as if it mattered the most to him that I would one day be recognized and appreciated by the village. As I made my way into the livelier parts of the village, I began to feel as if something was different in the air. Although I had not seen Eleanor in a while, I just chalked it up to her being busy with school or something. With the sounds of commotion in the area becoming louder and louder, I decided to clear my head of worry and focus on eavesdropping. Unfortunately, what I had been fearing in the back of my head had seemingly been correct. I happened to overhear people talking about Eleanor and how she had recently disappeared. Apparently, it had been a whole week since anybody had seen her, and her parents had recently come forward to voice their worry and report their child missing. Although I had no clue what was going on, I decided to make my way to her house, using my invisibility to sneak inside. If I were to find any clues about where she was, I would have to start there."
Isaac: "So you broke into the home of grieving parents?"
Hagen: "Sometimes, it is important to trust your instincts. The house was enormous, being big enough to house the whole town inside of it. At first, I found nothing of value, checking her room and anywhere she had direct connection to. So instead, I looked through every part of the entire building, balancing my need to find answers as well as avoiding her parents at all times. It wasn't until I reached the basement, where I felt something very wrong with the place. Not only did almost nobody come down there, but the place looked completely out of place. I stayed down there, looking through everything that could be important, but was unable to find anything of use. I was ready to give up on my mission, as I had gone 3 days exploring the area to no avail, when suddenly, the father came down the steps holding a tray. I quickly activated my ability and hid, but once he locked the door and reached the final step, he chanted something I could not understand, and the room started to morph into a completely different one. When it stabilized, it had become a much smaller room, having much less furniture as well as a bed sitting in the corner of it. And on that bed was Eleanor, chains on her wrists, looking absolutely battered and beaten. She looked completely exhausted, almost like prey accepting their fate against a predator. As confused as I was, I was not dumb enough to pretend I didn't understand what was going on. Even so, even as her father walked closer to her bed, my feet would not move. I stayed ever so still, I felt as if all my body could do was watch. And then I heard it. A faint cry for help, coming from none other than Eleanor. Despite me being invisible to everyone, she looked directly in my eyes and cried out for me to save her. My body could no longer refuse action; I would not allow it to do so. Faster than I had ever done before, I sprinted in his direction and pushed him to the floor. I was at a point of no return. I remember grabbing a dagger that I always kept on me, and I didn't stop swinging it until my arms could no longer move. After using up all of my energy, I passed out there on the floor."
Something so deplorable being done to one so close to you, Isaac could not comprehend. To betray the trust others have for you, it was something only a monster could do.
Isaac: "…I can't imagine what she went through."
Hagen: "Neither can I. Nor did I want to know. It was trauma I was unsure she would be open to tell me about, so not once did I pry for an answer."
Isaac: "I guess that's for the best. I think there are some things we can't bring ourselves to tell others."
Hagen: "Which is something I understood then and now. I cannot force another to tell me their secrets, so instead, I tell them my own."
Isaac: "Secrets, huh."
Hagen: "I know you hide your own, but I can tell deep down you're a good kid. Just know that if you ever want to open up about what you are going through, all of us are here to give you an ear."
Isaac: "I... I appreciate it. Anyways, what happened after?"
Hagen: "Welp, while I was unconscious, the room returned to its original form. Unfortunately, since Eleanor was the only one conscious, she had to yell for help despite her battered state. Eventually, her mother was able to get people to come and break the basement door open, and she was sent to get medical care at a nearby hospital. They would send me to the gallows as it was presumed that I was the culprit for the kidnapping and murder of her father, but luckily Eleanor awakened shortly after and was able to tell them the truth of what had occurred. I became an overnight celebrity in the town, and I was finally able to become the hero I was working so hard to become."
Isaac: "It must've made your father proud."
Hagen: "It did. But I was naive. I got a taste of what I could become, and I became consumed by greed. I should've been content with just being my father's hero. I should've been content with being Eleanors hero. I should've even been content with being the towns hero. And yet, even after all of that, I still wanted more. Against both Eleanor and my father's wishes, I enlisted into the west's army. Tensions were rising between the East and the West of Tabit, and I thought that if I used my abilities for good, I could become a hero that could unify the nation."
Isaac: "But I'm assuming that never came."
Hagen: "Correct. I distanced myself from those I deeply cared for, going for a dream that was not mine. At first, I was stationed as a normal soldier, protecting the land from oncoming attacks from the East. But after a couple years of me doing a spectacular job, my position in the army grew."
Isaac: "And that was?"
Hagen: "To that which suited my ability best. An assassin. I was sent on missions to take out high ranking commanders of the East as well as potential spies. At first, I was quite dubious as to whether to go through with it, but as they say, after your first time, it becomes a habit of yours. I had become a killing machine, a pawn at the hands of the higher ups. All was good on my end until I was tasked with taking out a spy from my hometown. I used the opportunity to reunite with Eleanor and see how she was doing after the 5 years I was gone. I was surprised to find out she was still single, and that she had told many of the townspeople that she had been waiting for my return. Once we met face to face, I realized the mistake I had made in leaving them all behind. In my search for a greater purpose, I abandoned that which most mattered to me."
Isaac: "So is that when you left the army?"
Hagen: "If only it were that easy. Worse yet, after setting up base for the night, I learned of the target which I was going to be taking out. It was none other than my own father. There were no details of what he had done, or how they knew he was a spy, it was just a simple order to kill. That very day, I asked my commander to let me step down from my position, but little did I know I had signed my entire life away. They knew I was in love with Eleanor, and if they found out I was incapable of following through with a mission, she would be the first they would go after. So, I went to the only man I could rely on."
Isaac: "Your father."
Hagen: "I had to make sure he wasn't a spy. So, when I finally went to him and asked, he told very clearly that he was not. I knew he would never lie to me, so I told him everything, hoping that he would be able to change something. When he found out that the country had put a target on his head, he knew instantly what it meant. A loyalty test."
Isaac: "Huh?"
Hagen: "The higher ups were using his execution as a test to see whether I was loyal to their cause. It was the first time I saw my father cry. He hugged me, and I hugged him back, telling him how much I regretted leaving them and how much I loved him. I told him that I wouldn't kill the man who saved my life, and that he must take Eleanor and flee the country before they come for me. He hugged me stronger and told me that in order to become a hero, I must keep Eleanor smiling for years to come. In the next moment, my vision became blurry, and I lost consciousness shortly after. When I came back to it, I was in a carriage with my head rested on the lap of Eleanor. She smiled at me with tears in her eyes and handed me a note that was addressed to me."
Saying that, Hagen began shaking his left leg, and shortly after it seemed to split into two.
Hagen: "This right here is a prosthetic. I found out that Franz had amputated it in order to fake my death. He used the corpse of a different soldier whose body was so badly charred it was incapable of being traced back to anyone using magic and switched out one the legs with mine. It would ensure that whenever the body was found, it would come back to me. In the end, he made it out to be that in an act of self-defense, he ended up killing me. Shortly after I found out that troops were sent to the village, and that my father was killed."
Isaac: "I don't even know what to say. I'm sorry to hear that. Really."
Hagen: "I lived with tons of regret after that. In a last act of love, my father, who had given everything to me, gave his life so that I could keep my own. So, despite everything that happened, I have made it my mission to ensure that I keep his final wish alive; to keep Eleanor alive and smiling. We moved here to the secluded forest in order to hide from any soldiers looking for Eleanor's whereabouts. I married her, started a beautiful family, and have been incredibly happy since your arrival."
Isaac: "So you don't want me to live with regrets. Is that what I'm supposed to be getting from this? Sorry, I'm far from the smartest guy so I'm not sure if I got the whole message."
Hagen: "Ahahaha. In part that is what this story was about. But more importantly, I want you know what you're getting yourself into. Even if we didn't birth you, you still have a family here that cares for you and would be more than happy to keep you here. It's a scary, war-torn place out there, and I don't want you regretting leaving here 10 years down the line. Most importantly though, you leaving here would mean me betraying the wish my father gave me of keeping Eleanor smiling at all times."
Isaac: "Shoot you're right. The last thing I want is to make her cry. I'll have a long talk with her later to make sure I can leave here in the best way possible."
Hagen: "Welp, I can't change your mind if you've already made it up. But does it really have to be tonight? Heiman doesn't get back till next morning, so if you leave before then, he'll be depressed for days on end that you didn't say goodbye."
Isaac: "Honestly, I wanted to leave tonight since I feel I'll have the most trouble saying bye to him. But after that story I told you, I'm really starting to feel as if I should. The last thing I want is to regret saying goodbye to someone I care so deeply about."
Hagen: "That's the spirit. I'll help you pack your stuff tonight for the trip along with some supplies you'll need. Then tomorrow morning, once Heiman gets back, we'll all sit down and have a talk, and if you still intend on setting off, we will have no choice but to accept it."
Isaac: "Sounds like a plan."
Hagen: "Alright then. As a final send off, we'll cut as many logs as we can and have a grand feast ready for you."
As the day went by, Hagen and Isaac spent their time outside collecting wood and other materials, while Eleanor and Elise would work on cooking food for dinner. Once all preparations were made, they spent the rest of the day eating and enjoying the time they still had together. For Isaac, it was a moment he wanted to cherish the most, so that it would be his first memory that he would ensure never to forget. Saying that, it was clear to all that Isaac was not his usual self, as he was quite sluggish and dazed, despite his best efforts to mask it.
Hagen: "Honey. I know he said that he's fine, but the kid looks like he hasn't had some good rest in weeks. We should give him the last of the sleeping medicine we have to ensure he'll be energized for when he decides to leave."
Eleanor: "Are you sure? It's not only expensive, but it's also quite hard to come by."
Hagen: "It'll be fine. I sent Heiman to get some earlier, so we should have enough to last us the winter. Besides, wouldn't you feel terrible if on Isaac's journey, he passes out and gets eaten by the demon scum."
Eleanor: "You're right. I'll put some in his tea, just hand it to him before we go to bed."
Hagen: "Gotcha."
As the night grew closer, Isaac sipped on his tea, reading books Eleanor had given him that spoke about the land in cultures Isaac was unfamiliar with. Once he set off, it would surely be an experience unlike any he's faced before, so mentally preparing for it was of most importance. Everyone slowly began falling asleep across the house, and Isaac felt as if he was the guardian of the family, keeping watch of the house as they slept to keep them safe. He felt like he would come to miss that feeling and hoped that—."
Shit. Somethings coming. I hear it.
Just then, Isaac senses something extremely powerful was approaching the house, and he quickly got up to wake up all the others. As he did so though, he felt his legs shake and slowly began losing control of them.
Isaac: "Shit. What's happening. At a time like this, why now. Why is my body shutting down. I can't scream. I don't have the energy. I just have to make it to the desk."
He had only used half of the dose that was inside of the vial and was keeping the other half for the journey in case he began to lose consciousness. But it seems as if he underestimated how tired he actually was.
Isaac: "I... have... to... save them. Just... a... little... bit... mor—."
And like that, his vision went black.
You closed your eyes for too long. That which you pushed away, that which you ignored, it's all coming back to get you. Those you wished to save. Those which saved you. You failed them. Just like before. It was your fault. If only you didn't lie. If only you relied on those who wanted to help. The regrets will keep piling up. Do not avert your eyes. This is the result of your actions. All of this, it's all your doing.
Isaac: "—kuh."
With a sudden jolt of energy, Isaac awoke from the slumber he was in. It felt like split second had passed, but it was clear that it was much more time than that. He looked around the dark room around him, a room unfamiliar to his eye. He was not in the same place he was before, and he was standing upright when he awakened. All he could hear were the sounds of cries.
Isaac: "A baby? Shit, is that you Klein? Don't worry, I'm comi—."
As he tried to move, he felt intense heat coming from the left side of his chest. As he moved his hand to feel what it was, he was met with a huge gash that extended throughout his whole torso.
Isaac: "Fuck. Something bad happened here. I gotta make sure everyone is okay."
As he went to open the door, light began peeking into the room the more it was opened. The smell, the sight, all of it hit him at once.
Isaac: "It's... it's all blood. HELLO! IS EVERYONE FINE!"
He heard the cries behind him, but nobody was in the room besides Klein. At the very least, he ensured he was safe. As he looked around though, he saw that the entire roof of the basement, along with the entire first floor, had been destroyed. His room, the one he was staying in, was completely destroyed, and the other 2 rooms were partially. As he looked around, he noticed something poking out from behind the door he had just opened. He walked outside into the hallway to see what it was, and what he saw—.
Isaac: "Hagen... what are you doing there."
Isaac stood there, in shock. Tears began welling up in his eyes. There one the floor sat Hagen, holding his axe, soaked in his own blood. As he slowly went to check the other rooms, he saw the others. Elise and Axel together in their room, with Eleanor alone in the other. They were missing limbs, their bodies almost unrecognizable. Isaac fell to his knees, unable to move, unable to think.
Isaac: "How... how did this happen. Is it my fault? Did I bring this to them? Whatever had me caged up, whatever made me lose my memories, did it come to find me? I came from the west when I first woke up, so the people who came for me, were they Hagens enemies too? Why? Why? Why am I like this? Why? Why? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?"
He began bashing his head on the floor, trying to force his brain to find some answers. Some hidden power that could save them. Some hidden power that could reverse time. What was the point of having dormant power if when he needed it most, it did nothing. All it did was bring death to this poor family. As he continued to berate himself, the cries in the other room grew louder and louder. Isaac looked up, his eyes filled with anger and determination.
Isaac: "Right. Klein. At the very least, I will save you."