"In the past, I was an incredibly dull person. Nothing could hold my interest. Just like you said earlier—I was nothing more than a stagnant pool of water, unmoving and lifeless."
Kikukawa Kyo swirled the liquid in her glass, the tart scent of lemon mingling with flavorless memories.
"My parents love me very much. To help me find motivation in life, they tried introducing me to different hobbies, hoping one of them would spark something in me. They went through everything with me—gardening, singing, dancing—but nothing ever clicked."
"Until that day."
The memory carried with it the faint taste of salt on the breeze. Damp air filled her lungs, and even though so many years had passed, the moment she recalled it, she felt as though she had been transported back in time.
"It was an accident."
"Our family was on a trip to the beach during a holiday… and I drowned."
"You don't ever want to know what that feels like, Mutsumi. The ocean is boundless, pressing in from every direction, filling your nostrils, rushing down your throat, and into your lungs. Your limbs go weak from suffocation, and then—"
She was describing an experience that should have been terrifying, a near-death struggle no one would want to relive. And yet, her eyes shone, and a smile stretched across her face.
"My heart pounded harder than it ever had before."
Mutsumi's expression twisted in alarm. She rarely showed much emotion, but now, her brows were furrowed, and her small hands gripped the glass of mango juice so tightly that her fingers had turned white.
"Wow, this is the first time I've seen you look so worried, Mutsumi." Kyo laughed. "I know this doesn't sound normal at all. I took the struggle of drowning and mistook it for something exhilarating. That probably isn't a good thing… but hey, I'm still alive."
Mutsumi said nothing. Her concern was evident enough without words.
"Good thing my accident didn't happen in a fire. Otherwise, I'd probably be in real trouble now," Kyo joked darkly. "But I was lucky in another way too—because somehow, I took that exhilaration and transferred it into something else entirely."
"I fell in love with water."
"Strange, isn't it?" She grinned. "It started with just drinking it. And then, naturally, I became fascinated with mixology. The way ordinary ingredients, when blended together, could transform into something completely new, bursting with unique flavors—it was intoxicating. That feeling became the very foundation of my existence."
She paused for a moment, letting the words settle before continuing.
"After that, I started realizing just how dull and uninteresting I had been. I wanted my life to move. But back then, the only thing that truly captivated me was mixology. Even so, that one passion was enough to push me toward change."
From that moment on, she had begun utilizing her talents in earnest. But her way of learning about human relationships had always been unconventional—though, considering how bizarre the moment of her "awakening" had been, perhaps that was only natural.
The creation of her "profile wall" system marked her attempt to truly integrate into human interactions. She had never aimed to become an "ordinary person"—that wasn't her goal. She simply wanted to try things she had once been incapable of. To resist stagnation. To keep moving forward, even if her methods were flawed.
Just like the liquid swirling inside her glass, her entire life had become a reflection of that pursuit.
Look at me now, she thought wryly. I've even learned to be a romantic.
"So when you called me out earlier, Mutsumi, I'll admit—I was really caught off guard." Kyo burst into laughter, her voice light and carefree.
Mutsumi, however, couldn't help but wonder… was this smile still part of her facade?
Perhaps.
But if the water's surface could reflect light, then who was to say it wasn't truly shimmering?
"I've been wearing this mask for so long that being reminded of how I used to be—even for a second—made me feel sick. I never want to go back to that person."
As if sealing that vow, Kyo lifted her glass and downed the rest of her lemon tea in one smooth motion.
"So, Mutsumi, you have absolutely no reason to feel guilty about what you said. If anything, getting to vent to someone who actually sees through me? It was a relief."
"Besides my family, you're the first."
Mutsumi didn't respond right away.
She simply listened, taking in every word Kyo had shared.
She watched her, too.
That veil of water, the one she had always assumed to be nothing more than an illusion—
She finally understood.
It was not a lifeless mask.
It was something that carried beauty.
"So that's why Sakiko…" Mutsumi murmured, as understanding dawned upon her. She now knew what had helped Sakiko pull herself together.
"Ah, speaking of Sakiko—Mutsumi, please don't tell anyone else about this, okay? I'd still like to get along with everyone as a normal person."
Mutsumi was silent for a few seconds, as if contemplating something, before slowly speaking.
"Kyo, you don't want others to know about this, do you?"
"…?"
Wait, wait, wait—why did that sound so eerily familiar?
Kikukawa Kyo had learned a lot of things over the years, and this particular phrasing was way too dangerous. This wasn't something a kid like Mutsumi should be saying.
"Can you teach me how to talk?"
Thankfully, the conversation didn't take a turn for the worse.
"I want to learn how to properly express my thoughts, the way you do."
Now that was an interesting request. Unlike Tomari's lifelong dream, Mutsumi's wish was much more practical—and honestly, Kyo didn't mind granting it. As for how to actually teach her the art of conversation, she already had some ideas.
"How about this, Mutsumi? Just come talk to me more often. You can't grasp the right feel for it without lots of practice. And if you're worried about offending someone, well, you can just practice with me!"
She puffed out her chest proudly, giving a confident hmph and patting her right hand against her chest.
"If nothing else, I am an expert at keeping up appearances. So, in exchange… whenever we talk, can I be as open with you as I was today?"
Mutsumi nodded.
For the first time in a long while, she felt the same sense of ease that she had only ever experienced with the band—where she didn't have to worry about being misunderstood or trapped by the expectations others placed on her.
Kyo froze for a moment.
Because right then, she saw Mutsumi smile.
A tiny, barely-there smile—but a real one.
It made the soft dimples on her cheeks appear, delicate and fleeting, like a tiny cucumber flower blooming after a fresh watering.
Kyo had originally considered using this moment to ask Mutsumi about what really happened on the day the band broke up. But seeing her like this… bringing it up now would just be cruel.
She glanced around at VA-11 HALL-A's layout.
A bit of a shame that this conversation hadn't happened over the bar counter—it would've been the perfect setting for a bartender sharing a story with a guest.
Atmosphere.
She was still figuring that one out.
But in this moment, Kyo was sure—
The atmosphere between her and Mutsumi was just right.
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T/N: kiss time? also yeah drowning is... it's not good