Chapter 6 — I'm Not That Guy (Money, Morals & the Middle Path)
Ted Mosby believed being the "right guy" meant holding onto your ideals no matter the cost.
Marshall Eriksen believed being the "right guy" meant staying true to his calling, even if the world didn't reward it.
And Ivar Scherbatsky? He believed being the "right guy" wasn't about noble intentions or perfect labels — it was about knowing which sacrifices you could live with, and which would haunt you forever.
---
The Envelope
Marshall showed up at MacLaren's later than usual, clutching an envelope like it contained live explosives. His face was pale, his posture a mess of excitement and dread. He slid into the booth beside Lily, who was already halfway through a glass of white wine.
"I got the job offer," he blurted.
Everyone leaned in at once.
"Which job?" Ted asked cautiously.
"The one," Marshall said. "Jefferson Coatsworth. Corporate law. Big firm. They… they want me."
Robin raised her brows. "That's amazing, isn't it? Big firm, prestige, connections—"
"It's also everything I swore I wouldn't do," Marshall said, his voice cracking a little. "They defend polluters, pharmaceutical giants, the worst of the worst. It's the dark side."
Barney gasped dramatically. "The dark side pays fantastically. Do you know what your signing bonus will buy? A condo. A car. A small island nation. Women love small island nations."
"Barney!" Lily snapped.
"What?!" Barney said, hands up. "I'm supporting his future. The man wants to get married, buy a house, have kids. Guess what none of those things pay for themselves with? Environmental law."
---
The Debate
Ted frowned, voice weighted with self-righteousness. "Marshall, you've wanted to save the environment since freshman year. Don't give up your dream just because of money. You'll regret it."
Marshall groaned. "It's not just money. It's security. Lily, we could buy a home. We could start planning for kids without worrying how we'll feed them."
"Dreams don't pay the bills, Ted," Lily said softly, siding with her fiancé this time.
Megan smirked over the rim of her glass. "Correction: Marshall doesn't want to sell out, but he also doesn't want to starve."
Yvonne leaned forward, deadpan. "Reality check: ramen noodles stop being charming after thirty."
Robin laughed despite herself. "She's right. You can only make 'struggling young couple' cute for so long. After a while, it's just struggling."
Marshall rubbed his face, looking more lost by the second. "I just—why does it feel like no matter what I choose, I'm betraying someone? Either Lily and our future family, or myself and my dreams."
---
Ivar Speaks
The table went quiet. All eyes drifted toward Ivar, who'd been silent, sipping whiskey, letting the storm circle around him. His green eyes studied Marshall like he was a chessboard.
Finally, Ivar spoke, his tone even but sharp.
"Correction: you're not choosing between good and evil. You're deciding what price you're willing to pay for both. Money feeds a family. Meaning feeds your soul. Pick only one, and the other starves."
Marshall blinked. "So… what are you saying? Take the money?"
"I'm saying don't lie to yourself," Ivar said. "If you choose broke, don't resent Lily when the bills pile up. If you choose money, don't forget the man you promised yourself you'd be. You have to live with the invoice either way."
The word invoice hit Marshall like a weight.
Barney clapped once. "Brilliant! I'm stealing that. 'The invoice of life.' It'll be my next motivational speech at a corporate retreat."
"Barney," Robin muttered, "no one's inviting you to a corporate retreat."
"They will," Barney said. "They always do. I radiate keynote energy."
---
Marshall's Guilt
Later, Marshall and Lily sat at their apartment's small kitchen table. The envelope lay between them. Lily opened it, eyes widening at the salary offer.
"Marshall… we could buy a place. We could pay off our student loans. We could have a real life."
"I know," he said, voice heavy. "But what if I hate myself every morning I walk into that office?"
Lily reached for his hand. "Then you'll come home to me, and I'll remind you who you really are. This doesn't have to be forever. Take the job, save up, build security — then find your way back to environmental law later."
Marshall's throat tightened. "But what if later never comes?"
Lily squeezed his hand harder. "Then we'll build a life together anyway. Because that's the dream too, isn't it? Us."
---
Visit to Northern Star
The next day, Marshall showed up at Northern Star Tech, envelope still in hand. He needed advice from someone who lived both sides.
Ivar's office was chaos incarnate — sleek design stations, engineers arguing about processors, Megan breaking apart a Titan 2 laptop hinge just to prove it was too weak, Yvonne literally throwing a Forge 2 gaming rig across the room to test durability.
Marshall blinked. "You guys are insane."
"No," Megan said. "We're effective."
"Correction," Yvonne added. "If gravity can break it, so can customers."
Ivar sat behind his desk, looking effortlessly in control. Marshall sighed. "How did you do it? Money and meaning. You have both."
Ivar smirked. "Correction: I built meaning with money. That's the order people forget."
Marshall looked at the engineers, then back at Ivar. "So you're saying… take the paycheck first. Then build the dream."
"That's one way," Ivar said. "But you'd better know yourself well enough to walk away when the time comes. Most don't."
---
Ted's Idealism
That night at the booth, Ted confronted Marshall.
"You're really going to take the corporate job?" Ted asked, voice tight.
"I need to," Marshall said simply.
"You're selling out," Ted muttered.
"No," Ivar cut in smoothly. "He's buying in. Correction: Ted, you confuse romance with reality. Love without money turns bitter. Security without purpose turns hollow. The trick isn't choosing. It's surviving both."
Ted looked stung but said nothing. Robin glanced at Ivar, eyes unreadable, but there was a flicker of admiration there.
Barney lifted his glass. "To Marshall, the newest shark in the corporate tank!"
Megan clinked glasses with Yvonne. "To practical love."
Lily smiled, though worry lingered at the corners of her eyes.
Marshall forced a grin. "To us. To making it work."
---
The Subplot: NS Release
Meanwhile, Northern Star dropped its next line just before the holidays:
NS Forge 2 Gaming PC with a cooling system redesigned after Megan broke the first prototype.
NS Titan 2 Laptop that survived Yvonne's "gravity test."
A limited-edition holiday NS Phone bundled with Robin's on-air review through NS Entertainment.
The commercials aired all week, with Robin's voice steady and professional, lending Northern Star the legitimacy of prime-time television. The gang gathered around Ted's TV to watch.
"See?" Barney said. "This is what selling out looks like. Beautiful. Profitable."
Ted muttered, "It's not the same."
Marshall stayed quiet, staring at the commercial, the weight of his own choice heavier now than ever.
---
The Choice
That weekend, Marshall signed the contract with Coatsworth. He did it quietly, at their kitchen table, Lily beside him.
"It's just for now," he whispered. "Someday, I'll go back to saving the world."
Lily kissed his hand. "I'll hold you to it."
At the booth, when he told the others, Ted sulked. Barney cheered. Megan and Yvonne toasted.
And Ivar? Ivar raised his glass, eyes locked on Marshall.
"Correction: you didn't sell out. You bought in. Just remember what you're investing in."
---
Closing Beat
By the end of the night:
Marshall had chosen money, but promised himself meaning later.
Lily reassured him with stubborn faith.
Ted simmered in quiet disappointment.
Barney gloated in corporate glory.
Megan and Yvonne celebrated pragmatism.
And Ivar, calm as ever, already looked ten moves ahead.
Because being "that guy" wasn't about noble words or ideals. It was about the choices you made when the numbers finally hit the page.
---
Word count: ~1,507 ✅
---
Do you want me to go right into Chapter 7 ("Dowisetrepla"), where Marshall and Lily buy the crooked apartment, or pause and sketch out how you want Ivar involved first?