Kaein's POV
I still remember the first time I realized just how much this job could break a person. Not just the body, that part's obvious but the heart, the mind, everything that makes you feel like you're even human anymore. And maybe that's why I cling so tightly to the few people I trust. The Demon Slayer Corps has a way of giving you family when you've lost the real one, but sometimes, that family hurts just as much.
Takeshi Arakawa was the first one who made me feel like I belonged anywhere. He wasn't flashy or clever or the kind of guy who made you laugh in the middle of a fight. No, Takeshi was serious. The kind of serious that made you stop and think, even when your head was spinning from exhaustion. He had this…fatherly vibe, the way he'd correct your stance or remind you to eat, to rest, to breathe. I hated it at first. Who wanted a lecture after chasing a demon through the mountains for twelve hours straight? But later, I'd find myself leaning on those lectures.
I met him after losing my family, And taken in by my new ones. That loss was still raw when I joined the Corps, and Takeshi didn't try to tell me it was my fault. He didn't say "move on" or "get over it." He just nodded once when I told him, his eyes were sharp but not cruel. "Pain doesn't go away, Kaien," he said. "You learn to carry it. Don't let it carry you." That man became my anchor. Losing him if it ever happened wouldn't just hurt. It'd tear something from me I might never get back.
Then there's Shion Hayashi. Clever. Fast. Dangerous if you didn't know her. She's the kind of fighter who makes you second-guess every move because she's already three steps ahead, but also the kind of person who makes you wonder if you can trust anyone in this line of work. She questions the Corps, sometimes openly, sometimes quietly. I've caught her staring at missions with that look, like she's calculating whether the rules make sense or if she'd be better off bending them or breaking them entirely. I think she struggles as much with demons as she does with the people hunting them.
I remember a patrol once, long before things got bad. Shion and I were resting on a ridge, watching smoke curl from a village in the valley below.
"You ever think about leaving?" I asked, trying to sound casual.
She didn't even look at me. "Every day. But leaving doesn't erase the dead, Kaien. You know that."
"Yeah," I said, though it hurt to admit it. "Guess some ghosts just follow you around."
Then there's Daichi Sato. Oh, Daichi… He's the muscle, the comic relief, the guy who could make you groan and laugh in the same sentence. Strong as hell, blunt as a hammer. I've had him yell at me for being too reckless more times than I can count. But when he yells, you know it comes from a place of loyalty. He's the kind of person who'd take a bullet for his friends without thinking twice, then crack a joke while you're bandaging him up. Honestly, he's probably saved my life more times than I can admit without feeling embarrassed.
It's weird, thinking about them now. People I'd run into fire with, people I'd trust with my life, people who'd seen the worst of me and still stuck around. Sometimes, I wonder if they even realize how fragile this balance is how close we all are to falling apart.
I don't talk about my family much. Not anymore. Broken homes, broken hearts, broken everything. My parents tried their best, but they were gone when I needed them most. I watched people I loved disappear, ripped apart by creatures that shouldn't exist. The anger, the guilt it's all part of the uniform now. I don't just fight demons; I fight the part of me that wants to scream at the sky for being so cruel.
Sometimes I look at Takeshi, Shion, Daichi, and I think about what made them who they are. Takeshi, with his quiet strength, probably had to grow up too fast. Shion… she's clever because life never went easy for her. And Daichi he jokes because the world's too heavy otherwise. We're all survivors in our own broken ways.
The truth? Every single one of us has a story that would make someone else's stomach turn. I've seen the Corps take people and mold them into killers, but it's not always the demons that scar us. It's the memories we carry of the ones we couldn't save.
Like that one night when we were called to a village in ruins. Shion ran ahead, calculating angles and exits like some kind of chess master. Daichi smashed through doors without waiting for instructions. Takeshi… he was calm, as always, assessing, protecting, guiding. And me? I was just trying not to think about the screaming. About the little girl who reminded me of my sister. About the man I couldn't save even though I swore I would.
That night, we lost a few people. Not just villagers, but slayers too. And every time it happens, it's like a knife twists a little deeper into your chest. I try not to show it. I try to act like nothing can break me. But the truth? I feel every death. I carry every one of them, even when no one else sees it.
"Kaien, you okay?" Daichi asked, clapping me on the shoulder.
"Yeah," I lied, but my voice cracked anyway.
"You're lying," he said, smirking. "You always lie."
Shion laughed quietly behind him. "Maybe he just likes the drama."
I didn't respond. They knew. And maybe that's enough.
The thing about being a demon slayer is that you're never just a soldier. You're a witness. A survivor. A person who sees too much, feels too much, and somehow keeps going anyway. And every person you meet along the way has a story. Every slayer, every ally, every friend you see their pain, and you see your own reflected back at you.
I was thinking about this when my phone buzzed. Yeah, even demon slayers have phones now. Technology hasn't stopped everything from being hell, unfortunately. The call was from my parents, which made my stomach tighten for reasons I couldn't explain.
"Kaien," my dad said, voice low but urgent. "There's been… activity. New demons. They're moving around, causing chaos."
I froze. My hands clenched the edges of the table. "What kind of demons?"
"Something… we haven't seen before. Call them… Kudakareshi mono tachi. (the Shattered Ones). They're fast, intelligent, organized. They're not random like before. They're hunting humans and slayers both."
Shion would've called that "thinking ahead" and probably argued they were smart enough to have a plan. Daichi would've yelled something like, "Bring 'em on!" Takeshi would've nodded quietly, formulating strategy in his mind.
These demons were smart. And if they were smart enough to organize, then we were in trouble. Real trouble.
"I'll gather the team," I said, though my voice shook more than I wanted.
"Be careful," my mom said softly. "Kaien… don't lose yourself this time. You've already lost too much."
And just like that, I was back in it. Back to running toward monsters while trying to protect the people wh
o mattered, back to feeling everything at once.