"Your son?"
Eleanor lifted her gaze and met the woman's eyes.
"He passed away from a fever when he was seven. My lady even called for the duke's physician, but he couldn't pull through."
The weight of the words startled Eleanor, her eyes widening.
"Clarisse."
The nanny, nodding as though to say she was all right, continued her story.
"You cannot imagine how much comfort the young master—now the duke—was to me. He even wrote the epitaph for me, since I cannot read or write."
"..."
"He was the kind of boy who would wake from sleep at the smell of chocolate cookies, yet he always gave me his share. You know how large a gesture that is for a child of seven, don't you?"
So Kaidel had already been as kind and considerate back then as he was now.
Eleanor nodded slowly.
"After inheriting the title, the duke has borne so many burdens on his own. At times, I feared he would break under the weight. But today, I feel a little less worried."
"You truly cherish Kaidel." Eleanor whispered.
The nanny only lifted her brows, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"Anyone who has worked here long wishes for nothing but the duke's happiness."
Creak, creak—
The sound of the rocking chair filled the silence for a while. Eleanor was overtaken by a strange feeling, something too complex to name.
After a pause, she carefully asked,
"Now… are you all right?"
The subject was missing, but Clarisse understood at once what Eleanor meant. Slowly, she shook her head.
"They say a child who goes before you is buried not in the ground, but in your heart."
A faint smile appeared on her lined face.
"Time eases it somewhat, but the wound never fully heals."
Her words made Eleanor think of her parents in her previous life.
Even after bathing in warm water and lying in a soft bed, sleep would not come. Eleanor curled on her side, pressing her cheek to the cool sheets.
"It feels strange…" she murmured, hugging her knees tightly.
"I shouldn't have asked that question at the end."
It was too late for regrets. She tossed and turned for a long time before finally falling into a restless sleep.
"Yeojin!"
Eleanor was dreaming of her past life.
It wasn't unusual to dream of her previous life when she was unwell, but tonight's dream was different.
"This can't be happening… this is impossible!"
"Calm down, dear."
"No—it's not right! Why Yeojin? Why does Yeojin have to die?"
Eleanor was witnessing the aftermath of her own death. In that moment, she was no longer Eleanor Everett, but Go Yeojin of Korea.
"They should have taken me instead… me…"
She saw her mother collapse in the hospital corridor, beating her chest. Her father leaned against the wall, expression vacant.
Her breath caught. She didn't want to see this.
She squeezed her eyes shut to wake herself, but whether she opened them or not, she could not escape her own death.
'Is this just my imagination? Or… am I truly seeing what happened?'
The scene shifted. Her parents, now clad in mourning clothes, stood in the funeral hall receiving guests.
Yeojin watched her own funeral unfold from beginning to end.
Friends from school, classmates from university, colleagues from work… people she had long forgotten all came. A tide of complicated emotions welled inside her.
At first, she resisted, twisting away from the sight, but at some point, she gave up and simply watched.
She saw everything—her body reduced to ash, placed in a porcelain urn the size of a book, and finally laid to rest in the columbarium.
'Mom… Dad…'
She looked at their backs as they stood before her resting place. They seemed so small, so fragile, as they always had.
She had resented them bitterly, thinking them no better than strangers. She had hated and blamed them.
But now—
[Mom
When you come home for New Year, I'll make galbijjim for you.
8:29 AM]
[Me
I can't come home this time either, I have a holiday lecture. I sent some allowance money to your account with my bonus. Please buy yourself some clothes and meet your friends. Say hello to Dad for me too.
9:03 PM]
[Mom
Thank you, I'm sorry. Don't get sick, the weather's cold these days.
9:05 PM]
After moving out as an adult, the most she did was stop by for holidays. Even then, she often avoided it, volunteering for overtime instead.
"I'm sorry, Yeojin. I can't bear to face you."
For some reason, her eyes burned. Watching her parents clutch their hearts made her chest ache.
"You entered the best university in the country without a single cram school, but I couldn't even give you a proper bouquet of flowers. I'm sorry."
Her father placed flowers down. His hair was completely white, his face aged ten years beyond his age.
"You deserved only the most beautiful, the most precious things… but all I gave you was burden. I thought staying away was protecting you, but now even that I regret."
Her mother, stroking the nameplate engraved with "Go Yeojin," sobbed. Her thin shoulders curled inward.
"They say people eventually forget. But they don't know. I'm most afraid of the day I might suddenly forget you."
At last, tears fell thick and fast from her father's eyes, streaming down his weathered cheeks.
"In your next life, don't be our daughter. Be born into a wealthy family, and receive all the love you deserve. We'll pray for you."
At those words, Yeojin burst into tears.
Her two lives flickered past her eyes—her thorny, grueling life as Yeojin, and the blossoming path of Eleanor.
For the first time, the two paths seemed to connect.
"Leave all the pain and hardship here. Give it all to us."
She reached out to them with all her strength. A white light exploded, scattering everything like dust.
No—just a little longer. Please, just a little longer—
"Thank you for being our daughter, Yeojin."
"—!"
Eleanor shot up in bed. Her body was drenched in cold sweat, her pillow soaked with tears.
"Mom… Dad…"
The room was still dark, the horizon outside just beginning to pale with dawn.
Her chest felt full of gravel, making it hard to breathe. The warm air felt suffocating.
'I need to get out. I can't stay here.'
Half out of her mind, Eleanor shoved her feet into her shoes and bolted outside.
The corridor was quiet; it was too early even for the servants.
She ran down the stairs as though chased, then pushed the door wide open.
"Eleanor…?"
Kaidel, up early for training, spotted her and approached. But his voice didn't reach her ears.
"Wait, Eleanor."
She walked quickly, not knowing where she was headed. The cold dawn wind stung her tear-stained cheeks.
"Eleanor. Where are you going in your nightclothes?"
"Move. I'm leaving."
"Where to?"
"Anywhere."
Kaidel blocked her path. She tried to dodge him, but he was faster.
Her bloodshot eyes startled him—he had never seen her so undone.
"Don't go."
He gently brushed the tears from her cheeks.
"Whatever it is, take it out on me. Tell me everything. I'll do anything—just stay with me."
He tenderly swept her disheveled hair back. Eleanor's strength drained away at his touch.
"Don't go, Eleanor."
He tilted her chin up, meeting her gaze. His calm, ocean-like eyes held hers without wavering.
"…I can't tell you what it is."
"That's all right."
"Even if I did, you couldn't understand. You wouldn't believe it."
"Eleanor, if it's your words, I'll believe them. Even if I can't understand, I can believe."
His warm hand cupped her cheek.
"I won't pry into what you don't wish to say. You owe me no explanations."
Her chest slowly steadied, her trembling easing. Sensing her calm, Kaidel exhaled deeply.
"Aren't you cold? Let's go back inside."
She shook her head. She wanted to stay outside in the cool air.
"Then wait here. Don't move."
After a moment's hesitation, he ran off. Minutes later, he returned, leading his horse with one hand and carrying a coat in the other.
"Arm."
She blinked but lifted her right arm. He slipped the coat over her shoulders.
"Good. Now the other."
He buttoned it carefully, then lifted her onto the horse's back.
"I… I can't ride…" Eleanor murmured.
"I know. I'll lead this time. Just lean on me."
He vaulted up behind her, wrapping one strong arm around her waist.
The horse started forward smoothly. The speed made her tense, her body rigid.
"Don't worry, you won't get hurt. Relax."
She clutched the arm that held her. His solid strength calmed her.
Gradually, she let go of her stiffness and leaned into him. She could trust him not to let her fall.
The horse carried them into the forest.
"Shall we go a little faster?"
At his suggestion, she nodded. He urged the horse on.
"If you're scared, tap my arm twice."
The horse surged forward, her hair flying wildly. The dizzying speed left no room for other thoughts.
She gripped his arm tightly, squinting against the rushing wind to take in the blur of trees.
When they had gone deep into the forest, Kaidel slowed the horse.
Soon, a green-hued lake appeared before them.
It was impossibly serene and beautiful—like stepping into a scene from a fairytale.
"We're here. This is the place I wanted to show you."
He dismounted and reached out to her. She let him lift her down.
"It's most beautiful at sunset, but even dawn has its own charm."
And for some reason, the moment her feet touched the ground, Eleanor's tears spilled over.
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