The crowd dissolved into background noise. All I could see were those eyes staring into mine, wide and glinting with something between relief and reprimand.
"Boss…" his voice was low, rough, threaded with something like hurt. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"
For a heartbeat, my breath caught. In the middle of the crowd, he looked almost unrecognizable, hair slightly disheveled, jacket unbuttoned, dark circles under his eyes as though he hadn't slept in days. There was tension in his grip, a barely restrained need to pull me close.
I forced a small smile, tilting my head like this was nothing more than a chance encounter. "Surprise?"
His expression flickered, anger, relief, longing, before settling into a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. The crowd moved around us, oblivious.
"Surprise," he repeated softly, but his fingers tightened on my wrist just a little. "You're the only one who can make my heart feel like this and still vanish without a trace."
I didn't answer immediately. Something about the way he held me, gentle but unyielding, felt different this time. Like a man who had spent days searching and was terrified of losing me again.
And yet, under his warmth, I could feel it, the same current of darkness, possessiveness, and madness that always swirled beneath his calm exterior.
"You haven't reached for me either… for days," I said quietly, my voice trembling just enough to betray my frustration. "Where were you?"
The question hung in the air between us like a blade.
He didn't answer right away. His eyes flickered, not with guilt but with something heavier, like a man cornered. I could tell from the way his jaw tightened, from the way his fingers flexed at his sides, that he didn't want to confront me. Not now. Maybe not ever.
I let out a soft, almost bitter laugh and stepped back, forcing a smile onto my lips. The smile wasn't for him, it was for me, a mask I'd learned to wear. With deliberate care, I pried his hand off my wrist, his warmth slipping away like water through my fingers.
"Get some rest," I said, my tone suddenly distant, almost formal. "I have matters to attend to, and I can't be with you right now. Take care."
I spoke with my back to him, refusing to let him see my face.
I couldn't afford to.
Every step I took away from him felt heavier than the last. My chest burned, my heart twisting painfully as if invisible strings were being pulled in opposite directions. Why did it feel like I was tearing myself apart by walking away? Why did his silence hurt more than words?
I didn't even remember him, at least not clearly. His presence in my life was like a phantom, a shadow of something I once knew but could no longer hold. And yet… his absence still managed to disappoint me.
I exhaled sharply, the sound almost a sigh, and pulled my coat tighter around myself. The cold night breeze brushed against my skin like a warning, a reminder of the distance I was trying to put between us.
Still, I wasn't entirely free.
With the organization's tracker, I could see where he was at any moment. He was just another blinking dot on my screen. Just another variable I should be able to control.
So why did I feel so powerless?
The wind picked up. The city lights blurred like streaks of gold and red in my vision.
And then...
Arms wrapped around me from behind, firm yet trembling.
I gasped softly, stiffening at the sudden touch.
"I'm sorry…" his voice broke against my ear, soft and rough at the same time. "I'm sorry."
I froze, realization dawning.
He'd been walking behind me all this time.
Watching.
Waiting.
His presence was like gravity, inescapable, pulling me back no matter how far I tried to go.
"I think we need time apart," I said softly, almost afraid of the words leaving my lips. "A little space, perhaps?"
But before I could step away, his arms tightened around me, firm, almost desperate. His warmth pressed against my back, and I could feel the rapid beat of his heart against my shoulder blade.
"Richard..."
He turned me around in his embrace, his hands resting on my shoulders, grounding me in place. My breath caught when I met his eyes. They were soft, almost pleading, but something in them flickered, like a shadow that didn't belong.
"I'm sorry," he murmured, leaning forward until his forehead brushed against mine. Then, gently, he kissed the crown of my head. "I was too busy. I forgot about you. It was selfish of me."
His apology was sincere, or at least it sounded that way. His voice trembled just slightly, carrying a kind of regret that was hard to fake. Still, somewhere deep inside, I couldn't shake the feeling that there was something off... a quiet dissonance beneath the tenderness of his tone.
"I didn't mean to make you worry," he whispered again. His thumb traced the side of my jaw, a touch that was both soothing and possessive. "You're… you're everything to me, Boss."
I wanted to say something, anything, but the words got caught in my throat. So I just stood there, silent, my head resting against his chest.
We stayed like that for a while.
The world around us seemed to fade, leaving only the sound of his heartbeat and the rhythm of our breathing. It should have felt comforting… but deep down, I couldn't tell if it was love that bound us, or a quiet, invisible cage I had yet to see.
But my mind felt strangely empty.
I didn't know how to react, whether to be angry, sad, or simply indifferent.
It was as if a part of me already expected this… that he would get busy, drift away, and forget about me for a while.
Like a habit I had unconsciously learned, to anticipate distance, to brace for neglect before it even arrived.
Maybe it was instinct, or maybe it was something deeper, a pattern carved into my heart long before I lost my memories. A quiet acceptance that love always came with longing, and that I should never hold too tightly, no matter how much I wanted to.
So instead of speaking, I just let my forehead rest against his shoulder. His warmth surrounded me, steady and familiar, but it didn't quite reach the hollow space forming in my chest.