Adrian's POV
The moment Lucien's footsteps faded beyond the heavy doors, silence flooded my chamber like a tide of poison. I had told them all not to disturb me, had let my voice carry that sharp edge of finality that no one dared challenge. But as the quiet pressed down on me, I wished someone would disobey, wished someone would knock and give me an excuse to break apart without witness.
Instead, I was left alone with the echo of my own command and the sharp, jagged pieces of my heart.
I had made the decision. I had given the order. Attack Blackthorn. Strike where it hurts. Show no mercy. It had seemed necessary, the only way to prove strength, to remind my enemies that Adrian Blackwell was not a man to be toyed with. I had told myself this kingdom was worth every drop of blood spilled.
But I hadn't known Lucien's blade would find Damien.
The moment he spoke the words, the air left my lungs.
"It's done," Lucien had said, his voice cold, resolute. "Damien will trouble you no longer."
Those words replayed like a curse in my mind, each time cutting deeper. I tried to remain composed in front of him, my mask of authority still intact. But inside, the foundations of everything I thought I wanted were crumbling.
Now, in the privacy of my chamber, I let go.
I pressed a hand to my chest as if I could keep my heart from tearing apart, but the ache only grew. My breath came ragged, my body shaking as though I'd been struck with fever. "No…" The whisper left my lips, frail and broken.
"Not Damien… it can't be him."
But I knew Lucien. He did not miss, did not falter. If he claimed Damien was gone, then Damien was gone.
And still...still, I refused to believe it.
I stumbled back until I hit the edge of my bed, collapsing onto it as my vision blurred with tears I could no longer hold back. They spilled freely, hot trails down my face, dripping onto my hands. I pressed my palms against my eyes, as if blinding myself could erase Lucien's words.
But the memory of Damien's face was too strong.
His eyes came first, soft when he looked at me, like he was seeing past the titles and walls and straight into who I was underneath.
No one else had looked at me like that, like I was not a ruler or a warrior, but simply Adrian. I could still see them now, the way they softened after a kiss, like he was memorizing me with every glance.
My body shook harder. I bent forward, clutching at the sheets, my tears soaking into them. "Damn you, Lucien," I whispered, voice raw. "Why him? Why Damien?"
The betrayal hit harder than the grief, a double-edged blade twisting in my gut. Lucien had looked me in the eye when he spoke, his expression firm but… I saw it. I saw the shadow of something hidden there, something deliberate. He hadn't just obeyed.
He had chosen Damien.
I should have known.
I should have seen it in the way Lucien stiffened whenever Damien's name left my lips, or the way his gaze hardened when Damien entered a room. He had known what I hadn't wanted to admit, he knew that Damien was becoming more than an enemy, more than a distraction. Damien had become the one thing I could not bring myself to destroy.
And Lucien had taken that choice from me.
The realization ripped another sob from my chest. I curled onto my side, pressing my face into the sheets as if I could bury myself away from this reality. My tears came in violent waves, the sound muffled but unrelenting.
I remembered the way Damien's lips felt against mine, softer than I ever expected, hesitant at first, then hungry, then gentle again, like he wanted to devour me and soothe me all at once. I remembered how his breath had mixed with mine, how for those stolen moments, the world outside ceased to exist.
My hand drifted to my lips unconsciously, trembling as if I could summon the ghost of those kisses. "Damien…" I whispered, my voice cracking. "Why did you come into my life if only to be taken from it?"
My heart squeezed so hard it was almost unbearable. Images of him kept flashing, his smirk, the tilt of his head when he teased me, the unexpected kindness in his voice when I was drowning in doubt. Every memory cut me deeper.
And then, the way he looked at me last, the last time I saw him alive. His eyes held something unspoken, something I had been too much of a coward to name. Love? Perhaps. Or maybe just the reflection of what was growing in me.
Because I had been falling.
I had been falling for Damien, and I hadn't realized how far until Lucien tore him away.
I sat up suddenly, chest heaving, fists clenched so tight my nails dug into my skin. Rage coursed hot through the grief. "He knew," I spat. "Lucien knew what he was doing."
The image of his composed face burned in my memory. He had carried out my order flawlessly, yes, but with purpose. He hadn't hesitated, because for him, Damien's death was not a duty. It was a victory.
He wanted Damien gone.
I surged to my feet, pacing the room like a caged beast, every breath heavy with fury. My tears hadn't stopped, streaking down my cheeks as anger and sorrow tangled until I could barely tell them apart.
I wanted to scream, to tear the walls apart, to undo everything. But nothing would bring Damien back.
Finally, I collapsed into the chair by the window, burying my face in my hands. My body trembled violently, sobs racking through me again. For the first time in years, I wept like a child, unguarded, broken.
I remembered how Damien once brushed his fingers against mine, the touch accidental, fleeting, yet powerful enough to set my skin on fire.
I remembered his laughter, sharp and wild, and how it lingered in the air like a song I never wanted to forget.
Now those memories were all I had.
After what felt like hours, I forced myself upright, my face swollen from tears. I couldn't let anyone see me like this, not the court, not my people. I was their ruler, their strength. They could never know I had crumbled for a man I should have considered an enemy.
But inside, I was ruined.
I walked to the door, opened it just enough for the guards to hear me, my voice low but steady despite the storm raging within.
"Lucien is not to set foot in my presence again. No one disturbs me. No one."
The guards nodded quickly, their eyes avoiding mine. They could sense the danger in my tone, but not the devastation behind it.
I shut the door, leaning back against it, letting the finality of the words settle.
Lucien had betrayed me. Damien was gone. And I… I was left with nothing but memories, grief, and a love I never confessed.
I slid down against the door until I was sitting on the floor, knees pulled to my chest. My eyes drifted shut as another wave of tears came, softer this time, like the remnants of a storm.
In the darkness behind my lids, Damien was still there, smiling, teasing, kissing me with that unshakable fire.
And I held onto him, because it was all I could do.