I woke up late today, Saturday. The sharp, bright light of the sun was flashing straight into my eyes. When I looked at my hand, I found something stuck to it like glue. Trying to remember what happened, the rush of shame and desire hit me: I had to take matters into my own hands after Anna left me hanging. I had beaten my meat.
I looked at myself, full of frustration and shame. I stumbled out of bed and went to the bathroom, washing my face and brushing my teeth.
I could feel a small, dull pain in my waist. I knew exactly why—it was all the straining and holding on that happened at Anna's house. I just smiled. I still couldn't believe I got a chance to bang her, even if it ended in a train wreck.
But how is life going to be in the office now? And she hadn't even sent a single text since I left yesterday. The lack of contact was already making me nervous.
After I was done, I took my hoodie and slid outside to look for something to eat and, more importantly, to clear my head. The morning was calm and quiet, the only sound being the birds chirping.
As I stepped outside my building, I saw her. Nicole.
I didn't want to meet anyone, but she had already seen me. She was jogging up the street, coming back home, wearing tight gray leggings and a cropped top. Sweat was glistening on her neck, and she had earbuds in.
The moment she reached me, our eyes met. She slowed down, smiled faintly, and pulled one earbud out. "Good morning, neighbor " she said smiling
"Hey, so you finally came out," she said.
"Yeah, sorry, it was late… I called last night, but I didn't want to disturb," I mumbled, feeling clumsy.
Nicole just shrugged, "You keep saying that. It's okay. I was awake." She said it so casually, but the tone had a little teasing edge to it.
I looked at her body. She was perfect, but in a real, accessible way, not like Anna's impossible goddess form. Damn, I thought, this woman is already starting to play with my mind. I told her I was just going to the restaurant down the street to grab something. She said okay and headed inside.
I couldn't stop myself from noticing how confident and easy she moved—not shy, not overly flirty, just completely in control of herself. It was the kind of presence that reminded me of Anna, yet Nicole was softer, more grounded.
I gave myself a stern mental warning: Okay, Luke, listen up. We've met this woman exactly twice. If you're already looking at her and picturing her naked, maybe you should just go ahead and buy a church pew and sit in it until your brain stops being a pervert.
I reached the small restaurant and ordered a sandwich, deciding to sit and eat there. While sitting, I went through my phone and saw Mark's post: a picture of him at some flashy club last night, smiling with a bottle of expensive champagne.
This motherfucker really enjoys life, I thought. It was all his father's money, and he was just soaking it up. It's not like I couldn't have been enjoying the same way, but my mom threw me out right after university so I could find my own way. Thanks, Mom, for teaching me the value of this sad sandwich.
I sat there for some time, just staring into space. There was a couple sitting right in front of me. They were having their time, teasing each other, laughing, and feeding each other a single fry. I was just sitting there, dumb, lost, and smiling widely like I was somehow part of their beautiful, happy moment.
The man suddenly looked up from his girlfriend and saw me. I must have looked like a complete weirdo, grinning like a village idiot directly at his tender moment.
His smile died instantly. He gave me a look that clearly asked, Why are you smiling at my girlfriend, you creep?
I was deeply embarrassed. My face went hot. I had to leave there immediately. I grabbed my phone, practically ran to the counter to pay, and got the hell out of the restaurant before he could say anything. I just couldn't win today.
***
I walked back to my apartment, the faint, stale smell of that restaurant sandwich still clinging to my hoodie. My mind was spinning faster than Mark's car on the highway. I went from feeling ashamed, watching the happy couple, to feeling angry and totally determined. Anna had played me like a toy, and I desperately needed to know why.
The only way to know the truth was to use the power again. If it worked on a complete stranger, then Anna's surrender in the shower was forced obedience, not a personal choice to mess with me. But she seemed to like it and enjoyed it very much, a confusing voice argued in my head.
The power only worked when I focused my desire on a woman. The thought felt dirty, but the need to know—and the need to feel powerful—was louder than my conscience.
The target was obvious: Nicole, the new neighbor.
I really didn't want to do this to her, but on the other hand, my desire was a desperate, hot knot in my stomach. Seeing her in those leggings earlier had completely filled my mind and I really wanted to clap those cheeks.
I went straight to my door, but then stopped dead. I turned back and walked down the hall toward her apartment. I didn't even think about it; my body was moving on its own.
I raised my hand and knocked on her dark wooden door. My heart felt like a frantic drum hitting my ribs.
She opened it almost right away, wearing a simple t-shirt and shorts. I immediately saw the soft outline of her nipples drawn on the thin fabric of her shirt. She had been unpacking; cardboard boxes were stacked behind her. She looked friendly and normal, which made this morally disgusting.
"Hey, Luke, everything okay?" she asked, smiling easily.
I couldn't speak the words I wanted. They felt huge and stupid. "Oh, I see you are busy unpacking," I stammered, feeling like an idiot.
She said yes, she was tired, so she had to finish today.
"Maybe I can help you," the words shot out of my mouth before my brain could process them. I hadn't meant to offer.
She was surprised, but she agreed. "Oh sure, okay, come in." She said it calmly, without hesitation. Even I felt suspicious. Did the power make her say yes to the help?
I stepped inside the apartment. It was messy with boxes and paper. I went to sit on the sofa and moved some clothes that were draped there.
I found myself holding a pair of her soft pants—my hands just froze. She blushed, took them quickly, and laughed it off.
I helped her move a few things, and we made normal small talk, but my mind was a million miles away. Every time she leaned forward or tucked hair behind her ear, my focus slipped. I wanted to say something, but I was completely focused on how I should ask her and how embarrassed I would be if the power failed and I just looked like a horny creep.
"Luke, are you okay?" she asked me, tilting her head. She had caught me staring, totally lost in my thoughts.
"You are beautiful, that's why," I said. It was another thing that came out of my mouth like someone else was controlling the words.
She blushed and said, "Thanks, Luke. You are kind. I don't know if I would have finished today, thanks to you."
"It's okay. I just helped you. Not a big deal," I said, trying to sound cool.
"I don't even know how I'm going to repay you," she said.
"Maybe you can help me to reduce some of my..." I started, my mind still completely out of control, trying to steer the conversation to the one thing I wanted.
"What?" she asked, laughing lightly.
"Nothing, never mind," I said quickly. My mind was spinning—half lust, half panic. I scrambled, confused. What the hell was I trying to say? I saw the task of asking her getting harder and harder.
"Let me at least prepare something for you," She chuckled and went to the kitchen.
I watched her back, and she dropped something. She bent over to pick it up, and my mind went dizzy. I locked my gaze on her perfect, exposed booty.
She came back, holding a cup to give me. But as she stood in front of me, she looked down and smiled softly.
"What is wrong with your pants?" she asked, her voice soft and teasing.
I looked down. "Oh shit, not again." My pants stood up stiffly, like a tent pole. My desire, my anxiety, and my shame had teamed up to completely betray me.
I felt a wave of cold horror wash over the little thrill. This was the moment. The point of no return.
I jumped up. "I was just leaving!" I stammered, scrambling for the worst, dumbest lie I could think of.
"Wait, Luke—" "I... I thought you asked if I needed help with a box" she said. "I was just leaving. Sorry to bother you."
I backed away quickly, nearly tripping over a box on my way out, turning and practically running back to my room. I slammed her door shut behind me, not bothering to look back. I still didn't have the answer about the power, but I definitely had proof I was a freak.