Caelen quit university and started Pheromones therapy. Although it was not very effective it helped the baby stabilise.
Caelen sat in the doctor's office with both hands resting in his lap. The doctor scanned the report in silence.
Finally she looked up. "You're doing well overall," she said, "but your pheromone levels drop whenever you're nervous. That's what's making the baby unstable."
Caelen nodded quietly eyes fixed on the floor tiles.
"I know it might be difficult for you," she added, voice softening. "You told me about the breakup, but your baby needs emotional stability. It could affect more than you expect."
Caelen gave a small, bitter smile. "Yeah," he whispered. "You could say that."
The doctor folded her hands on the desk. "Your body still remembers his scent, his presence. It's not something you can just erase. When you feel anxious or lonely, try to imagine him holding you — the warmth, the sound of his breathing, even the scent if you can recall it. It might sound silly, but these imaginary hugs can trick your system into calm. They help regulate the baby's pheromonal bond."
Caelen looked up at her, a faint laugh escaping through the exhaustion. "You mean… pretend to hug him?"
Why should I imagine that fucking bastard hugging me?
"If it helps your baby," she said gently, "then yes."
Caelen sat cross legged on the floor. He was holding onto Frost Pine, the cologne that was made by Soren's pheromones as he rose to popularity as an idol. It had become famous after his debut, sold everywhere. He sprayed it at his surroundings like any other days.
He pressed his face into the pillow until tears stung his eyes. He felt exhausted by the emotional instability and wanted to be comforted. He remembered the doctor's words, "When you feel anxious or lonely, try to imagine him holding you."
He closed his eyes and tried to remember when Soren held him in his arms tightly. The tight hug right after sex then he imagined Soren taking Caelen into his embrace. Caelen quickly opened his eyes and shunned the thought sitting up.
That fucking bastard!
The warmth he felt earlier went away in a flash, and he felt uneasy once again. He touched his belly, gently placing his right hand on it. His tears came quietly spilling down and he bent forward hands trembling over his belly.
"I am sorry," he said between shaky breaths, "I know… you want that warmth. You want Daddy to be here, right?"
He pressed his face against his hands, the scent of Frost Pine clinging to his skin.
The rest of the months slipped by in waves of exhaustion and silence. Some days he was fine. Other days he was struggling even after receiving pheromone shots and medications.
And then the day came when he gave birth. Caelen was already unconscious when the operation began and his face was pale against the white sheets. The doctors moved quickly their voices were low but tense as they worked.
When he woke up again, his whole body ached. For a long moment he didn't know where he was. Then he turned his head.
"Three days," the nurse whispered when she noticed him awake. "You've been out for three days."
"Wanna see your baby?" She supported Caelen to sit up, and he noticed the little being in the bassinet nearby.
The nurse carefully took the baby in her arms and handed him to Caelen, whose tears dripped at the sight unintentionally.
"Your baby boy is so handsome. Have you named him?" the nurse asked with a warm smile.
"Yes, he is Eiran," Caelen took the tiny hands in his palm and traced his features.
Why does he look like that bastard!
He remembered whispering to the baby almost every day, "You have to take after me, okay?"
That was because Caelen was an exact copy of his father Loren and he wanted his baby to look like his father.
Even though it was a three day old newborn baby, it was too obvious by his features that he resembled Soren.
Caelen kissed the little forehead.
"Isn't it fascinating?" Caelen looked up at the talking nurse, whose eyes were fixed on Eiran. "You are actually in very bad health, but your eyes started glowing at the sight of the baby. You are feeling light, right?"
"Yeah," Caelen let out a chuckle, "I feel like I could even fly."
Both burst out laughing, and Caelen groaned because his C-section stitches hurt.
"Oh right, you can't laugh," the nurse instructed. "I will do a check up on you now."
Although Eiran looked exactly like his enemy, Caelen couldn't stop smiling. The following years, he was busy taking care of Eiran while struggling to feed themselves. He couldn't work more because Eiran was so little and couldn't be left alone.
Thanks to Uncle Shu, he was able to work at the store while taking care of Eiran alongside. But Eiran was turning four next year, which meant he needed to attend school, and the pay he got from working at the store wasn't enough to send him to school.