"Daddy! Daddy! It's TREASON, TREASON, I say! The Duke of KARO REBELLED against US! Just earlier this afternoon, FOUR ASSASSINS just popped up and tried to KILL me, your SON, the crown prince, like some random stray BITCH!" Zarba dramatically announced his presence in the throne room while half-heartedly faking a distressed emotion in his tone as he expressed his outrage and emphasized the important keywords in his rant loudly so his daddy could connect the dots easily while also not forgetting to snitch on one of the two most powerful dukes of the empire, who was also responsible for the failed assassination attempt on him without any remorse.
In the game, the Duke of Karo, or Habanero Bubba Bastari, was one of the early antagonists that will do many unscrupulous things to obstruct the crown prince's rule after the mad emperor mysteriously disappeared one day, and the most troublesome thing about this Habanero guy is the constant assassination attempts he will keep throwing in the protagonist's way, as in the game you can't even take five steps without encountering a group of enemies that will drop only a small amount of EXP, which isn't worth the time fighting them at all.
In terms of game design, it's only an annoying way the devs make you stay in the game longer by delaying your progress, but in reality? It's the worst nightmare!
You can probably imagine how troublesome your life will be with people constantly trying to kill you in any way, any time, and any place possible, right?
No way in hell would Zarba have the patience to deal with that!
"I bet your precious tentacles that the Habanero Bastard is also raising an army in his domain right now, and before you know it, that bastard will already be marching for the capital for your head!" Zarba continued speaking to his daddy, Zarking the Mad, while he started pacing back and forth with obvious fake anxiety, while the mad emperor was just sitting there with a bewildered expression on his face, as the sudden rant of Zarba made him pause his own mad ramblings, his brown eyes staring towards his son dumbly, seemingly with no thought whatsoever behind them.
"Zarba…?" The Emperor eventually rasped out a name with a trace of familiarity, tilting his head like a curious owl after finally recognizing who this random loudmouth son of a bitch that is currently pacing back and forth in front of him is.
"My boy? Back from… the sky?" He squinted at Zarba as if trying to see if he is the real one and not a pigeon in disguise.
"Did you bring me… diamonds?" Confusion and uncertainty flickered in Zarking's gaze as he asked for diamonds for some reason, while Zarba turned to his daddy with a wry smile as he noticed that his rant went completely over this guy's head.
'I didn't get lucky this time as well, huh?' He thought while he had already somewhat expected this usual outcome of the talk between them before he even talked with his daddy.
The usual success rate at which Zarba can have an actual conversation with his daddy is no more than 10% from the result of his long years of research and experiments; he even has to call him "daddy" like a small kid; otherwise, the success rate will drop to a whopping 5%.
You can say whatever you want about Zarking Altra Zigma, but easy to manipulate? He is definitely not!
'It really is a pain just to talk with this guy; 0/10, not recommended...' Zarba thought, as even his actual son has only this little chance, so don't even talk about the other people, as you might actually have more chance of winning the rigged lottery than having a cohesive conversation with Zarking the Mad.
"Well, Daddy, listen to this: I think the Habanero Bastard has been stealing from you ever since you named his first daughter Hoemon!" Zarba declared, quickly changing tactics as he snapped his fingers, pretending like he just noticed something.
'If one talk is not enough, then I can do ten…!' Zarba is determined to let the mad emperor loose on his enemy!
"He definitely sent assassins—incompetent fools, really—to silence me before I exposed his treachery to you! They even confessed everything after I interrogated them!" Zarba is now making stuff up as he goes while he continues to rouse up his daddy to march against his own vessel.
"And he's definitely hoarding ALL of the DIAMONDS… under… under… his pants! Yes, that's right! He's definitely planning to deny you the opportunity to see them ever again!" Zarba's wild, random story even makes the two brutish Slave warrior guys at the doors look at each other with a worried expression, wondering if the prince is starting to get mad like his father. 'This empire is doom...!'
"What…?" The emperor froze as the golden cup in his hand dropped to the ground with a clank and wet splash of the wine after hearing what Zarba said. The deranged light starts to shine in his eyes, condensed into something terrifyingly focused—like a predator spotting prey. The Blade of Ascension slipped from his grasp but still stayed standing upright as the tip of the sword impaled on the floor.
"Diamonds… under his pants?" Zarking breathed deeply, each word dripping with silent rage. He slowly rose from the obsidian-carved throne, the crown sliding off his head to the floor as it bounced against the throne armrest. His fists ball up tight with a crack of knuckles, ready to swing at someone.
"MY diamonds?!" His voice climbed into a screech of a madman who is very madly mad at the moment. "Bastari… that BALD, piss-smelling BITCH! He dares?! AFTER I gifted him those Bull's BALLS?! AFTER I NAMED HIS UGLY BITCH OF A DAUGHTER HOEMON PERSONALLY?!"
"That's right, that's right!" Zarba immediately pressed his advantage after seeing this time he managed to get through that madness clouding his daddy's head. He will have to feed the emperor's anger some more so he'll finally actually do something.
"And listen to this: did you know that the Habanero Bastard even told his assassins that you couldn't tell diamond from glass! Said your taste was... common!" Zarba said with a theatrical gasp, clutching his chest as if wounded by the imagined insult to himself, which also somehow always works on triggering Zarking's rage when someone calls his testes common as the emperor's face turned purple, veins bulging at his temples like wriggling worms. A low, guttural growl vibrated in the mad emperor's chest, building into a demonic shriek that startled and scared all the people in the palace.
"COMMON?! BASTARI CALLS ME COMMON?! I'LL FUCK HIM UP! I'LL FEED HIS HEART TO MY PET GLORY THE SOCK!" Zarking was incomprehensibly livid as his spit flew and fists swung wildly in the air like he was trying to punch the Duke of Karo through space-time from here in the throne room before he stopped and snatched up the Blade of Ascension from the floor and began hacking wildly at the air, cleaving his imaginary foes under Zarba's amused gaze and gleeful grin. He has successfully triggered the madman!
"SADDLE MY WARHORSE! GATHER THE SOLDIERS! WE RIDE FOR BASTARI'S GODDAMN DIAMONDS AT ONCE!" The emperor declared as he stomped towards the doors of the throne room with the sword in his hand, while Zarba just nodded his head in satisfaction.
"Yeaaaaaah—! Let's go fuck him up!" Zarba cried out with false enthusiasm after the mad emperor while he was also walking out of the throne room later and going the other way from his daddy as the emperor's screams echoed in the hallways, promising brutality to the Duke of Karo.
Zarba didn't even look back as the two warrior slaves guarding the throne room watched him go on his merry way with amazed faces as he just talked the mad emperor into actually doing something.
The air in the palace is now thick with the tension of impending doom after the crazy outburst of the emperor. The people in the palace begin to move around with urgency after they know what just happened in the throne room with how vocal the emperor is as Zarba walks past them; he could see their eyes wide with anxiety and terror—not at him, but at the hurricane of insanity that was about to be unleashed and, most importantly, the consequences that would follow.
"Heh, good luck…" Zarba smirks, as he doesn't intend to wait to find out what will happen later as he moves through the palace with a quick step. His next destination was already decided. It is the treasure vault of the Great Golden Empire, hidden in the imperial palace, accessible only through a hidden entrance behind the painting of the empire's founder, Altra Zigma, deep inside the grand library.
From there he could collect his starter fund and access the secret escape tunnel where Xin is waiting for him with their stuff packed and ready to go.