"I can explain, Professor," Adriel said smoothly.
Professor Liffey approached suspiciously, probably intending to take Ethan from him. "Go ahead."
"That's why I took so long," Adriel continued. "As I said, I went too deep into the cave. I came across a few unusual monsters--one of them snapped my sword in half."
Whispers spread across the students and other professors.
"After I escaped them, I had to find my way back unarmed. Along the way, I came across this sword, lying abandoned on the floor of a small cavern. It probably came from some adventurer who left it there."
Liffey frowned. "That sounds highly suspicious to me. Look at it. It's clearly a powerful sword. For heavens' sake, I can sense a magic aura coming from it. And you're telling me you just found it?"
"That's what I said," Adriel replied defensively. "It's the truth. That aura is mine, by the way. Just channeling some magic to strengthen it."
The woman sighed. "Fine. But I'll need to run a test and ensure it's not cursed or malicious, as with all new swords."
"Go ahead. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it."
Wow, this guy is clearly lying through his teeth, and she's just allowing it? Once again, the perks of a protag are on full display. If I tried that, I'd be a pile of molten metal right now.
But Ethan had to survive the professor's test first.
She clicked her fingers, and a small translucent orb appeared in her fingers.
Great, the classic 'let's test the mysterious object' scene. If I wasn't sure before, now I'm absolutely positive that I embody the cursed sword cliche.
"Bring the sword forward, and dispel your aura."
With an undeniably obvious look of apprehension, Adriel complied.
"Just suppress the aura… just suppress the aura, or I'm finished."
Words that weren't his floated through Ethan's mind.
"Huh? Who said that?" he said--but not out loud.
"What?"
Adriel tightened his grip on Ethan.
"No way, is it him? Adriel?"
"Ethan? Are you communicating telepathically?"
So Ethan and Adriel didn't actually need to talk out loud? The novel never mentioned telepathy was a thing between cursed swords and their wielders.
This wasn't in the wiki!!
"Must be, dumbass. How else could this happen?" Ethan said.
"Whatever. Just do what I told you to! Suppress your magic aura!"
"I don't know how!"
Professor Liffey was about to hold the orb up to Ethan.
No no no no--
"It should take about thirty seconds for the result."
Distorted colors blocked a portion of Ethan's sight, as the orb was now barely an inch away from him.
It's over…
"My, I haven't seen a true cursed sword in so many years!" a new voice remarked in Ethan's mind. It wasn't Adriel--their tone was proper, old-fashioned, almost.
"Uh, who is this?" he asked.
"Only the most experienced Detector Orb in the Mage faculty, darling. I've been dealing with artifacts for longer than dear Professor Liffey here's been alive--and she's ancient, hehe!"
Ethan was talking to an artifact right now. A sphere with a personality--just when he thought today couldn't get any weirder.
If a broom decided to materialize out of stardust, pull out a camera and dance for social media, he wouldn't even be surprised at this point.
"You're a peculiar one, aren't you? I've never met a cursed sword who hasn't screamed about death and destruction from the very moment I could hear them," the Detector Orb went on.
"No offense, but I don't know what you're talking about," Ethan said, trying to be polite.
"Who are you talking to?" Adriel chimed in suddenly.
Ethan was confused. "You can't hear them?"
"Darling, you're the only one who can hear me right now," the Detector answered. "Only sentient artifacts such as us can communicate…"
Us? As in, I'm officially not even a guy anymore? Cool, love that existential crisis.
"… and humans simply cannot pick up on our magic waves. Excluding the telepathy between cursed sword and wielder, of course."
"Oh."
"Stop messing around and do something!" Adriel ordered.
"What a hot-tempered boy," the Detector commented. "Has he always been like that?"
"Yes. Probably," Ethan mumbled. "Just tell me what's going on. Please!"
"Well, my job is to scan you for cursed magic, and signal if you do. It's quite clear to me that you possess a significant amount."
Oh, no… they're going to turn me in! Ethan thought in a panic.
"At this point," they added, "I should announce that you are cursed. Both you and the boy will be taken away, and it'll be a job well done."
Ethan's metaphoric heart sank.
"Although…" the Detector mused, "you're much more reasonable than the insane fellows I've dealt with in the past."
"We shall now see the result," Professor Liffey announced.
"Don't turn me in!" Ethan begged. "Pretty please! They can't find out!"
The entire gathered group held their breath.
The Detector Orb flashed only once.
Immediately, Adriel's hold on Ethan loosened, and the tension vanished from the air.
"The sword is not cursed," said the Professor, withdrawing the Orb.
Ethan had passed the test, and gratitude welled up in his mind."Thank you, thank you, thank you!"
"You're welcome, darling," the Detector said, their voice softer now that the two of them were further away. "Unlike the rest of your kind, you were so polite I couldn't help but let you go. Don't make me regret this decision."
"I won't! I promise!"
"Marvellous. Take care, my friend. It was a pleasure meeting you."
And then they were gone.
Yes!! I did it! Plot armor? Nope. Kindness is all you need to survive! Take notes, villains.
Adriel breathed a sigh of relief. "See, Professor? This sword was just a lucky find. Nothing to worry about."
Liffey didn't seem entirely convinced--but she let him go. "It's still highly odd," she muttered to herself, her voice almost drowned out by the return of the large group's lively chatter.
Adriel turned away, eager to leave now that he was off the hook. He didn't hear her.
But Ethan did.
"That professor is weird," he said to Adriel.
Adriel simply brushed it off. "Yeah, she's an elder mage. They tend to be like that. I don't know what kind of cursed-sword sorcery you did to fool the Orb, or what kind of god you're praying to. But you saved me from humiliation. Good."
"God? Pfft, no. I talked to the orb and convinced them not to out me."
"You can't talk to artifacts, you deranged sword. They're not alive," Adriel scoffed.
"But--"
"Can you shut the hell up? I'm going to talk to my friends."
Hmph! Sure, go do your thing, hero. While I go meet the talking teacups and discover the secrets of life. Not even a damn thank-you…
Ethan fell silent as Adriel approached a large group of people.
Bro, why couldn't the author have mentioned artifacts being sentient before I gave up reading? Would've saved me a whole bunch of stress!!
"There you are, Adriel! How could you just abandon us like that?" a tall girl piped up. A glinting metal axe was propped up against her leg, and she shone in the afternoon sun like glitter. Her brunette hair was tied up in a neat plait, and a wide grin covered her face.
Hold on, that's definitely a familiar description…
Oh no, not her. The fan favorite love interest.
Liora Marian was the female lead of the original novel, a figure almost as influential as Adriel within Zarodei Academy. Charming and smart, she was apparent the next strongest second year student after him.
But some chapters in the novel with her in them felt off. Ethan could never put his finger on it, but the way she was written seemed to tease at something deeper beneath the surface of her character.
It's probably not important for now. Unless I spontaneously develop some lie detector abilities. Maybe one day whoever created this world will feel generous.
So today, I've died, been picked up by the idiot protagonist, been slapped by a slime monster, and interacted with a talking snowglobe. 10/10 start to my new life.
He eyed Adriel's group, who were all staring at him with awe.
Next thing on the bucket list: be ogled by a bunch of seventeen-year-olds. Living the dream, am I right?!
"Yeah, have a look at my fancy new sword," Adriel said smugly. I've already tested it out on a bunch of monsters," he exaggerated. "It's pretty great."
Wouldn't it be hilarious if I just spoke up and told them about how he yelled when he realized I'm cursed? Hey, TSDS author, I have a great cliffhanger idea for you!