My plan to avoid Annabel lasted a short four days before she called my name and I chose to ignore it. I didn't want to sabotage the progress I had made in not being affected by her. I kept telling myself that I was focused on my law electives and that I had successfully contained the "chaos." I convinced myself that she was more than capable on her own and that my physical reaction was just a product of my unusual exhaustion.
On Thursday evening, I made my way to the library for my usual study session, opting for the main library annex entrance to reach the private study hallway a bit faster.
Then I saw them.
Annabel and Ryan were settled together in a corner by the windows, their heads close as they leaned over a spiral-bound notebook. Annabel's laughter rang out—bright and unrestrained, cutting through the afternoon air. If they were reading, it didn't seem like it anymore; Ryan was grinning, completely focused on her. She looked comfortable, relaxed, and genuinely happy.
I halted abruptly, stepping behind a bookshelf that shielded me for a moment. The ease of their interaction was a world apart from the strained, guarded conversations I had with her. With me, she was defensive; with him, she seemed at ease—as if she were at home.
The logic I had painstakingly built—that she was an adult and didn't need me anymore—crumbled in an instant. My jaw tightened. This was exactly what Mr. Berkeley had worried; she wasn't focused, and he wouldn't want that. I certainly didn't want that!
He's a distraction, my mind whispered, a thin veil over the truth. I couldn't stand seeing him take up the space I wanted. This casual intimacy, this effortless laughter, felt utterly unacceptable. It was everything I had been trying to steer clear of, yet witnessing it ignited an unbearable possessiveness that I had sworn to suppress. She was crossing my boundaries by allowing a stranger this level of access.
I pulled out my phone, fighting the urge to text her. I forced myself to walk past, keeping a composed, indifferent expression. She didn't notice me; she was so absorbed in her conversation with Ryan that she didn't see anyone passing by, which only fueled my irritation.
As I walked away, the cold knot of duty I had felt earlier twisted into something sharper. I couldn't trust her to manage her own safety or maintain her focus. I'd given her an inch, and now she was inviting in the distraction. I needed to re-establish control. It was imperative that I see her now.
I stepped into my usual study room and quickly typed out a demanding text before I could overthink it.
Me: We need to speak. Library annex, private study, room 2. Ten minutes.
She arrived quicker than I expected. I watched as she stepped in and surveyed her surroundings.
"You saw me with Ryan," she said immediately, her tone laced with irritation.
"I did," I replied, my voice low and firm. I moved closer to her to shut the door, noticing she took a step back from me. Does she not like being around me? I looked at her closely, inhaling her scent filling my nostrils... No, Nic, I'm not focusing on that now.
"You were supposed to be dedicating your time to your studies, Annabel, not entertaining people you barely know."
"We were studying! He is helping me out. He understands math better than anyone else here," she defended Ryan fiercely. I could see the anger in her eyes at my attempt to control her, but I didn't care.
I leaned forward, my gaze intensely locked on hers; she wouldn't have her way today.
"You need to seek professional, established academic help. You cannot afford to let a casual friend who lives next door become a source of distraction. He will pull you away from your focus."
"He's a good tutor; I don't need anyone else. We were doing fine before you called me here," she shot back. Doing fine?
"You were all smiles with him. A good tutor will keep you focused on your studies, not distract you from them."
"Oh, stop it! You sound like my dad!" she retorted.
I was too stunned to respond. No one spoke to me that way.
"He is a good person, Nic. He was kind enough to help me the other night, remember? You're judging him because he's easygoing, not because he's incompetent."
He's easygoing and I'm not. That's what she meant. I felt a sting from her words.
"Annabel," I interrupted, my voice colder than I intended. "I advise against allowing anyone to distract you from your studies."
"Your judgment is severely compromised. You can't blindly trust people in this environment." I paused. "His 'kindness' does not mitigate the risk, Annabel."
"You are here to achieve what your father expects. This casual friendship is a threat to that goal. You need to end these impromptu sessions and find a qualified tutor. Consider this an instruction."
That was a lot of words for me to say.
I didn't care what she thought of me anymore; I just knew I had to stop this.
"He's James's roommate, Nic! He's going to be around!" she shot back, frustration shaking her voice. I realized I needed to tread carefully.
"Then you will maintain a respectful, academic distance," I countered, my gaze unwavering.
"I will not allow failure, Annabel. Not when it could reflect poorly on the commitment I made to your father."
The tension eased. She flicked her lashes and stared deeply into my eyes.
"Fine, Nicholas," she said, attempting to move away.
"I will do just that, but you should know that you just broke your own rule for a reason that has nothing to do with my academic standing," she added and walked out.
Annabel was smart; I knew she could see right through me. I understood the unspoken message behind her words. "I ignored her all week, and now I break the boundary I set because I saw her with Ryan." I realized I couldn't mask this strange possessiveness I felt over her. Now I couldn't concentrate anymore, not with her scent lingering in the air.