The tension in the royal banquet hall snapped like a guitar string.
Vivi's pulse thudded against the blade pressing lightly to her throat, and the faint tremble in her voice was the only sound breaking the silence. "B–Buggy, what are you doing?"
"Improvising," Buggy said cheerfully, dragging her a half-step backward. "See, I expected the Marines to hover, maybe throw a fit about jurisdiction, not kick down the King's front door in the middle of dinner. That's just rude."
He wagged a finger at Smoker, the motion almost scolding. "And if I had to guess, Smokey-boy, this wasn't orders from HQ... Marines don't have this type of jurisdiction. Smells like a World Government directive~ Am I right?"
Smoker's expression didn't twitch, but the way his jaw tightened told Buggy everything.
"Ah," Buggy grinned wider, "so it was."
He started backing toward the doors, dragging Vivi with him. His crew had already grabbed whatever loot and bottles were nearby, stumbling after their captain with varying levels of panic.
They ran with the fear of God, or a logia user, in their hearts, knowing damn well that they did a good job parking the ship closer to the palace for a quick getaway...
Thankfully, the Logia User paid them no heed, since Buggy's hostage act was quite captivating.
"Stay where you are!" Smoker barked. His body dissolved into a column of smoke, tendrils snaking across the marble floor like creeping vines.
"Careful," Buggy sang, keeping his grin fixed and eyes sharp. "You make one wrong move and I might accidentally juggle the princess's jugular~"
Vivi hissed, "You're insane!"
"Darling," Buggy replied smoothly, "Not to worry, I am a proffessional terrorist and hostage taker~ You're in good hands!"
"It doesn't feel like it..." Vivi grunted as she continued being pulled along, unable to escape from Buggy's surprisingly strong grasp.
They passed Smoker, the air thick with tension and cigar fumes. Even the Straw Hats, still reeling from the sudden shift in mood, froze. Buggy's boots clicked over the marble like a drumbeat.
Then, a shift. The faintest stirring of air behind him.
Buggy's eyes flicked sideways. He didn't look back. "Tch. Rookie move."
Smoker's smoke surged forward, tendrils lashing out toward Vivi like a dozen grasping hands.
Buggy's hand dropped off his wrist, clattering onto the floor, and the air snapped.
"Chop Chop – Act Cutter!"
The ground screamed.
A line of light, thin as thread, ripped across the hall, then splintered in cracks. In a split second, that line turned into a ravine.
Indeed, the marble cracked, then split. The weakened walls trembled. Chandeliers shattered.
The entire palace tore itself in half with the sound of mountains collapsing.
Smoker stumbled back as a roaring crevasse opened beneath his feet. The banquet table, food, plates, and Luffy's half-finished roast, vanished into the abyss.
The hall caved inward. The tombs below groaned. Dust and flame exploded outward as a large section of the royal palace collapsed.
And there, suspended above the chaos like the world's most smug vulture, hovered Buggy the Clown.
"Oops..." he said lightly, eyes darting to the ruin below. "Guess I still need to work on the control bit."
Chunks of marble and golden debris plummeted around him. Vivi screamed, clinging to his coat as he floated higher, propelled by his scattered body parts like grotesque balloons.
Below, Smoker coughed through the settling dust, eyes narrowing. "You maniac…"
"Thank you!" Buggy called cheerfully. "It's nice to be seen!"
He shot a salute, then zipped through the open ceiling, trailing bits of confetti from his coat pockets like a flying circus gone wrong.
-
-
-
Outside, chaos reigned. Marines scrambled to contain the fires from the collapsing palace. The Straw Hats regrouped amidst the rubble, coughing but alive.
"Dammit!" Smoker growled, reforming beside them. "He's escaping!"
Luffy grinned, brushing soot from his hat. "We can't let him take Vivi! Let's chase him!" As much as he grew to somewhat trust Buggy, seeing him hold a knife to his comrade's neck surely did it for him.
Before Smoker could protest, Luffy shot off after the flying clown, stretching himself skyward like a human slingshot while grabbing his slower crewmates at the same time.
Zoro and Sanji followed in reluctant pursuit, muttering about "idiotic captains" and "stupid clowns."
Smoker would've followed suit, but he had to ensure that the King was not dying in the collapsed castle...
High above Alubarna, Buggy soared with Vivi tucked under one arm like stolen treasure. She kicked and struggled.
"Put me down!" she shouted.
Buggy sighed. "I will, but if I drop you now, we'll both end up as royal pancakes. Be patient, Princess, I'm running on fumes here."
Truth was, his body felt heavy, fragments tugging unevenly against the desert wind.
The Act Cutter had drained a lot more stamina than expected; it felt like he'd split a little bit of himself with the palace.
It couldn't be helped; he was still experimenting with that ability of his. "Note to self: smaller slashes next time." He was glad he didn't knock himself out like an idiot.
Down below, Luffy's voice rang out. "Buuuuggggyyyyyy!"
"Oh, for-" Buggy looked back to see a rubber balloon with fists barreling toward him through the air. "Kid, this is not the time!"
The distance closed fast. Buggy groaned, eyes narrowing. "Fine! You want your princess? You can have her!"
He hurled Vivi downward with the grace of a man tossing a bowling ball.
"WHAAAA—!" she screamed.
Luffy expanded, puffing up like a balloon mid-flight. "Gomu Gomu no... Princess Catch!"
She slammed into his chest with a soft fwump, and both bounced off the palace dome before crashing into a nearby sand dune.
Buggy paused midair, blinked twice, and started laughing. "Ten outta ten for form, Straw Hat! Though your naming sense sucks!"
He twirled his detached hand into a mock salute, then spun around, heading toward the coast.
He only needed to look back twice to realize that Luffy had given up on following him.
'Flight sure is damn convenient...'
-
-
-
By the time he and his crew reached the shoreline, dawn was beginning to burn along the horizon.
The sand was littered with footprints and empty rum bottles, but there were no Marines in sight. The rebellion had burned itself out, the city now eerily calm behind them.
Cabaji was slumped against the ship's railing, still pale from the earlier chaos. "Captain! You're alive!"
"Alive and still devastatingly handsome," Buggy said, landing lightly on deck. "Set sail before Smokey gets his second wind!"
"Aye aye, Captain!" Mohji barked, waving frantically at Richie to help raise the anchor.
The ship creaked as it lurched from the shallows into the open sea.
The desert wind gave way to ocean breeze, the smell of salt cutting through the memory of sand and smoke.
Buggy leaned against the railing, finally exhaling. "Ahhh. Nothing like committing multiple international crimes and getting away with it. Really clears the lungs."
Cabaji poured him a cup of rum with trembling hands. "That was… Captain, you split a palace in half!"
Buggy smirked, taking the drink. "Yeah. Felt pretty good too. Shame I can't aim yet. Probably should've taken a few cooking lessons from Mihawk."
The crew laughed weakly, still not sure if he was joking.
For a brief moment, the world felt still again.
Then a voice floated down from the shadows near the mast. Smooth. Too feminine for that sausage party of a crew. Also, brazenly uninvited.
"I must say," it purred, "for a clown, you have quite the talent for making an exit."
Buggy's hand froze halfway to his mouth. Slowly, he turned.
Nico Robin stood there, leaning casually against a crate, arms crossed, the faintest smile on her lips.
Every crewmember went still. Mohji nearly dropped the anchor rope.
"...How long have you been on my ship?" Buggy asked finally.
"Since I saw the palace collapsing in the distance," she replied lightly. "You make quite the convenient escape route."
Buggy eyed her, suspicion and amusement battling behind his grin. "Hope you're not here to continue your bounty hunting side hustle. I really am not feeling up to it right now, tuts~"
She tilted her head. "I was thinking of joining you, actually. You seem… entertaining. And you have a knack for finding history in strange places."
Buggy blinked. "So, what, you want to be the circus archaeologist now?"
Her smile widened. "If there's room under the big top."
Buggy's laughter started low, bubbling up like fizz from an uncorked bottle. He ran a hand down his face, smearing a line of red paint across his cheek.
"Well," he said finally, eyes glinting with mischief, "that sorta fucks up the rest of canon..."
He looked out toward the horizon, where the dawn met the sea in a blaze of gold.
"...Ah, who cares~"
The ship sailed on, the clown's laughter echoing across the waves.