Trigger Warning: This chapter contains references to violent thoughts and/or actions.
Three weeks had passed since the duchess' tea party. It was finally time for the duchess to begin teaching me how to run the manor as the wife of the heir, as well as to give me etiquette lessons. Perhaps that would have been necessary if I wasn't already well trained. Nevertheless, I rose at the fifth hour of the day (5 a.m.) to prepare myself and to note down what I could remember from my first ever lesson.
Seated at my small writing table, I began jotting down the little information I still had in my memory.Firstly, I would bring my own pen—perhaps one or two—and a few sheets of paper. The last time, I went empty-handed, and the duchess had looked at me over the edge of her fan before smiling faintly and telling me to take a seat. She then began the lesson without giving me anything to write with.Secondly, she would have a few of her companions overseeing the lesson. They each specialized in something different. While the duchess herself could teach everything, she chose to focus on Etiquette and Manor and Estate Management. Her peers—whose names I could hardly recall—taught Academic and Intellectual Studies, Estate and Land Oversight, Cultural Refinement, Diplomacy and Social Tact, and Moral and Character Instruction. Imagine failing at everything while under the scrutiny of six high-ranking noblewomen.Lastly, I was not the only one attending. The duchess was also educating a baron's daughter—Lady Evangeline Rosethorne. Cedric's childhood friend.
One thing I had learned was that I would never be as close to Cedric as she was. I was reminded of that every time they were together. According to her, they were "just friends," but I always felt there was something more. Cedric had been devastated when she married the Crown Prince. I suppose she was keeping her options open.
Finally done with my notes, I leaned back for a few seconds, feeling overwhelmed. What was really the point of me coming back here? Should I do things differently? Should I try to make him love me? Should I find a new lover? Should I get revenge? A knock at the door snapped me out of my racing thoughts.
"My lady?" Bess called softly as she slowly opened the door. I had told her to come by at half past the fifth hour (5:30 a.m.) to help me get ready. Unlike last time, I wasn't planning to put much thought into my attire. She went to the bathroom to refill the water and activate the heating for the bath. I followed soon after, stepping in once she added the pearl essence I had come to love, along with a scented oil she'd bought at the market while visiting her parents. Nellie would still be asleep at this hour, so I had only requested Bess for today.
For today's outfit, I wanted something simpler than what I'd worn to the tea party. I chose my sage green muslin gown. A cream sash gathered beneath my bust, complementing the square neckline edged with simple embroidery. I then slipped my feet into pale beige satin ballet flats.
At the vanity, Bess styled my hair. I'd been adamant that it never be fully tied up. She brushed my soft black hair—thick and gently curled—into a half-up style, tying it back with a cream ribbon. Loose strands framed my face in light, natural waves, while the rest spilled freely down my back.
When I was about to gather my papers and pen, Bess handed me a new book along with my pens. I chuckled, thanked her, and left the room, heading for the hall where lessons were held. By this time, it was a quarter to the seventh hour of the day (7:45 a.m.). Last time, unaware of the actual start, I'd arrived at the eighth hour when it had begun at half past the seventh. This time, I would be one step ahead.
Upon arriving, I gently pushed the door open and peeked in before stepping inside. As expected, no one was there yet. A single large desk stood near the wall with two chairs placed at it. I set my writing tools on the right side of the desk before moving to the window to look out.
There, I saw Cedric and Lucien talking with Evangeline. Cedric was smiling warmly at her laughter. I would be lying if I said I didn't feel a twinge of pain in my chest at the sight, but I had other things to worry about. Moving away from the window, I sat at the desk and began writing down the questions I remembered the duchess asking last time.
She had first asked me to demonstrate my posture—walking gracefully, sitting, rising, and curtsying. I stood up and moved to the center of the hall to practice. I took smooth, deliberate steps, eyes forward, shoulders back. I clasped my hands tightly together; one should never leave their hands dangling while standing or walking.
"My, what a beautiful posture you have."
I turned to see the duchess approaching, watching me over her fan.
"Why thank you, Your Grace," I said, giving her a curtsy.
"From the top," she commanded. I obeyed, repeating what I had been practicing—walking away, returning, and finishing with a curtsy.
She let out a sound of approval. "I assume Cedric informed you of the lessons?"
Cedric? "No, Your Grace. My maid happened to overhear another staff member speaking about it. However, I was unaware of the time, so I came earlier so as not to miss anything important."
This wasn't entirely a lie. Bess had overheard a maid talking about bringing me the message two days prior, but she had thought I deserved to embarrass myself for what I'd done to her friend.
The duchess sighed. "I'm deeply sorry about his behavior."
Soon after, the door opened and Cedric entered with Evangeline. He stared at me as if he might spit on my shoe. While the duchess was distracted by Evangeline, I returned his stare, catching him off guard. I took my seat, keeping my posture intact. That was the second lesson of etiquette—one should always maintain their posture when seated, eating, or speaking. I had found this very difficult in my younger years and would often have terrible backaches. I opened my book and noted this down.
Evangeline then sat next to me. A few minutes passed before she introduced herself, as though expecting me to speak first."Pleasant morning to you, Lady Valemont. I am Lady Evangeline Rosethorne."
"A pleasant morning to you as well, Lady Rosethorne." I turned slightly to observe the duchess speaking with Cedric, who kept glancing this way. Through my peripheral vision, I saw Evangeline giving him a small wave.
"I suppose he's being scolded by the duchess," she giggled.
"I see," I responded blandly. Back then, our conversation had been the opposite—me trying to start and her ignoring me. By this time, the duchess' companions entered the room to oversee the lesson. They were here to judge who excelled and to discuss it amongst themselves. Noblewomen are never far from gossip.
The duchess called for Evangeline and me once Cedric had left the room. We demonstrated our posture. Just like back then, she was perfect—but so was I. The noble ladies seated at the back of the hall began murmuring amongst themselves. The duchess requested that we return to our seats and we moved on to the second part of the lesson. In my last life, we had spent two hours a day trying to get my posture perfect to no avail. I had begun practicing in my room after every lesson so as not to disappoint.
Moving on, some maids entered carrying plates and silverware, placing them on our tables. To make space, I slid my books closer to the edge and centered myself in front of the utensils.
"How should one make proper use of their utensils?"
Raising my hand slightly, I answered when the duchess nodded. "One should use the outermost utensil first, Your Grace," I said, pointing to the cutlery.
"Correct. And when should one begin eating?"
"After the host or the highest-ranking person."
"What is considered polite table conversation?"
"When one—" I was abruptly cut off by an eager Evangeline.
"When one avoids the discussion of gossip or politics, Your Grace."
The duchess gave Evangeline a look of disapproval for interrupting. I chuckled inwardly, remembering how I had once been unable to answer any of these questions—my father had never shown interest in my lessons, leaving me free and unprepared.
"Polite table conversation," the duchess said sternly, "also includes not interrupting when someone is speaking. You wait for a natural pause or until they've clearly finished."
"My apologies, Your Grace," Evangeline murmured.
"Moving on." The duchess tapped her fan. "How does one signal they are finished with their meal?" She looked at me, but seeing how eager Evangeline was, I remained silent while placing my utensils together.
Evangeline grinned, raising her hand. "One places their knife and fork together."
"Correct."
We continued until the twelfth hour of the day (12 p.m.). It was time for lunch, and I was famished. Evangeline exited the room, followed by the other noble ladies, leaving only the duchess. Out of habit, I stacked the plates and silverware neatly before collecting my things.
"Why did you let her have most of the answers?" the duchess inquired.
"Lady Rosethorne is as hungry for education as I am, Your Grace. However, I was not as hungry as she was, so I let her have her fill."
"Even though you knew all the answers? I saw you mouthing them."
"One cannot be selfish." I smiled politely before bowing and taking my leave. I was exhausted and only wanted lunch and a nap.
Back in my room, Bess arrived shortly with my lunch on a tray and Nellie following behind.
"Madam," Nellie squealed, running toward me.
"Be careful," I said gently to her as she rested her head on my lap. Bess placed a small tureen of steamed chicken and vegetable stew on a silver tray before me. Tender chunks of meat mingled with soft carrots and peas in a savory broth. It was accompanied by a warm roll with a pat of butter and a cup of herbal tea.
Bess removed Nellie from my lap and stood behind me as I ate. When done, I grabbed an orange from the basket I'd received the previous night and began eating. Bess had confirmed it was safe, as it came from the tree outside my balcony. As for who had left it, we had no idea. Full and sleepy, I excused both Bess and Nellie, changed into my undergarments, and lay on the bed. I drifted quickly into sleep.
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In my dream, I stood in a dark room when a mirror appeared before me. A sudden gust of wind pushed me toward it. In the reflection, I saw my older self, smiling warmly. She pressed her hand to the mirror; compelled, I did the same. Then, as though shifting, I turned back into who I had been before—older—and staring at me was my younger self. I hurriedly removed my hand from the glass, returning to normal. Normal?But my older self was who I had been before. I pressed my hand once more, but she only looked at me before turning and walking away. The world crumbled, and I awoke to a loud bang on my door and a pounding headache.
The banging continued until Cedric burst into my room, furious. I groaned softly, rubbing my forehead as I sat up. "And why are you here?"
"Complaining to my mother about me is one thing, but to bully Evangeline—"
I sighed and picked up my bell, ringing for Bess. My headache was worsening by the second. "Not only do you burst into my room, but you also accuse loosely."
"Laughing at her as she was being reprimanded by Mother—"
"And?!" I snapped. "What? Are you going to slit my throat? Behead me for your beloved Evangeline?" The strange dream had left me raw, and his intrusion only sharpened the pain.
"I should have known. I expected nothing better from a Wyndham… from you."
"I don't care what you expect anymore, Cedric. She is nothing to me, as I am nothing to you. I have neither the time nor the means to 'bully,' as you claim, a baron's daughter."
"How badly are you trying to get my attention? Do you think a sudden change in your personality will work?"
"Yet here you are… giving me the attention you claim I seek."
I stepped away from him as Bess entered with a cup of tea. I went to the balcony for fresh air, hoping to ease the pounding in my head. My heart beat as loudly as the pain. I had never once spoken to him that way, but it felt freeing. He exited the room upon Bess's arrival, slamming the door loudly behind him. A weight had finally lifted from my shoulders.