"No fuck you, I'm not waiting any longer, its been over a day of negotiating. I have to be back in a couple of days before some Gnome usurper tries to steal my Troll… You are talking to the King of the Gnomes, Tamer of Trolls. Suck my Gnome nutsack" Gnarlo was furious
He had come to negotiate in good faith with his old contact at the Nuros Vinyard, he had 0 plan to steal anything he just wanted to buy something. But apparently to keep brand value high, they refused to sell to him since he wasn't nobility.
Adam was the middle aged caretaker of the Vinyard for the Nuros family. He lived a merchant's life before settling at the vineyard… Greying hair from stress, sharp features and middling height for a human.
Adam had a soft spot for Gnarlo but rules were rules, and walking around claiming to be King of Gnomes and tamer of trolls was just ridiculous. He obviously thought he was just trying to get some wine for a discount.
"Listen Gnarlo, I can't sell you anything. Every barrel ready now, is already set to be sent to a buyer, I've told you this already, I have no spare stock and even if I did, the sale wouldn't be approved without some sort of proof of Nobility"
"You said that but you have shipments ready to be sent to Goblins, Orcs and Beastmen… Those savages will never appreciate the wine properly as it was meant to, let me take over their stock" Gnarlo retorted
"Woah woah woah, shut your mouth… You can't speak like that, it's not right. I can't believe you said that… I have Goblin friends Gnarlo… you can go to a re-education camp for that talk buddy, I don't want to see you get arrested" Adam was concerned
"You spineless cuck, do you remember what happened to your first wife?"
Adam's first wife and childhood best friend was kidnapped by Orcs and brutally assaulted over the course of a couple days until she died… The Orcs were arrested and then released back into the custody of Friendly tribes in the outskirts of the kingdom. It was a sore spot for Adam.
"How fucking dare you bring that up, how are you so closed minded that you think all Orcs are alike. I'm going to have to ask you to leave, guards escort him out"
The giant Bearmen guards moved forward.
"Race traitor… I'm gonna get my wine one way or another and Im gonna fuck your second wife too, you fucking cuck" Gnarlo yelled as he ran out.
Adam was deeply disappointed in his old friend, he had lost his path and didn't believe that every race had a right to self determination like the teachings of the Unity Kingdom stated.
Within 10 minutes Adam had already forgotten that Gnarlo had visited him.
Gnarlo never left, he just started wondering about the vineyard, trying to find a way to load the carts with the wine barrels without anyone noticing.
He knew Adam's wife Elizabeth from back in his traveling days, from what he remembered she was a lot more reasonable than Adam and her previous boyfriend was a Gnome. Two birds one stone… race traitor cuck, he thought.
After wandering around for a little bit, completely unnoticed by the workers and the Bearmen guards, he saw Elizabeth having a little picnic by herself in a clearing in between the grape vines. She was drinking tea and eating sweets.
In Gnarlo's memory, she was a black haired beauty with soul dark eyes and a charm that could befriend the nastiest of people
The closer he got, he realized that she was a morbidly obese woman stuffing her face with snack cakes…
He cleared his throat
"Oh Gnarlo is that you, its been forever" she exclaimed as she hugged him tight and choked him out with her cleavage" Gnarlo… got a little turned on
"Oh Elizabeth, how beautiful you look. I was wondering if you could help me out with something"
"Why else would you be here… what do you want Gnarlo" she snapped as she bit down on a piece of cake
What was going on Gnarlo thought, why was he liking this… maybe he spent too much time as the Trolls brain, fuck it.
"I was here to ask you to help me buy some wine since Adam is being a dick head but now that I am here and looking at how beautiful you are… are you interested in a little bit of fun" he winked
She licked the cake off her lips "Oh my, my snacks usually don't talk back" she replied with a smile full of cake
"How bout this, if you impress me, I'll get you the wine for free, we'll just say it was stolen if we're caught, it will be between you and me" She seductively bit down on a cookie
"Don't try me Elizabeth, I am the King of Gnome's, this will definitely be your pleasure" he got a running start and jumped into her cleavage
Gnarlo had lost consciousness multiple times during their tomfoolery, Elizabeth not noticing he would go unconscious as she was on top, just kept on enjoying herself. Meanwhile, Gnarlo needed a hip replacement as soon as possible.
When he was conscious he had an internal therapy discussion on why he was attracted to tall women and now big women. But after it was all said and done Elizabeth was true to her word.
She diverted a shipment meant for a big Orc chief, and replaced it with freshly stomped on grape juice. The orc probably wouldn't even notice the difference. Gnarlo had his carts loaded by his men and left out the back with a 3 month supply of wine.
Gnarlo couldn't even sit down on the cart, he had to lay amongst the wine barrels cause his hip bones turned to dust. It was a good mission all in all, he kept the silver and got the wine. He laid there thinking about the Elf healers and them casting spells on his hip area. He laughed thinking about how jealous that inbred giant Maro would be.