The whole world became silent.
The crickets stopped singing, the leaves stopped rustling, Bei Shang could even swear that Taohua stopped breathing.
His voice was soft " Kill him? "
Shu hua tried to hold Taohua wrist " Taohua calm down…"
Taohua did the unthinkable, he slapped her hand, Shu hua hand trembled with pain but he didn't seem to notice.
"Why will I kill him ? All he did was treat me well since I entered this world…"
"Why can't you kill him ? He is mortal , mortal are shallow and full of schemes "
"He never hurt me once!"
"Taohua!" Shu hua grabbed his face, she held on tight when he tried to pull away " Taohua, your divinity is on the line , just close your eyes and stab him in the chest, he will die a painless death . It's just one tribulation, there's a lot of things at stake if you don't become the next god of war, the whole heavens are riding on you "
"Shifu !"
"Taohua!"
The heavens started to darken and thunders rolled on the horizons. Shu hua hands held Taohua face so hard , it turned red , Taohua gripped Shu hua wrists so tight it was starting to turn a mixture of blue and red.
At last , Shu hua dropped her hands and backed away some distance.
"Taohua…I also started as a mortal " Seeing Taohua didn't say a word , she rubbed her forehead and sighed " I was a slave and my owner was a rich young master. I was born with the aplitude to cultivate so it was easy for me …"
She let out a small smile " My young master was a lovely man , he didn't know I was a girl at that time. My hair was short and the slave traders burnt my chest in. But he still treated me really well. He took me to the battlefield and he protected me all the time. I made a name for myself there and he encouraged me so …I fell in love with him "
Bei Shang tried to imagined how his shifu would have been. Could she have been like those girls who sent secret handkerchiefs and wrote letters or would she have looked from afar , knowing that their social status will never let her talk about her feelings.
His chest started to hurt and his eyes watered.
Shu hua continued the story , her voice went lower and lower.
"It have always been my dream to leave the mundane , this slave birth tying me down and become a god. I knew the rules , I KNEW everything, I had to let go but I couldn't…so I killed him"
" On a clear night during an ambush, I stabbed him right in the chest with my sword and buried him with my own hands… I wept for 5 days and 5 nights then i ascended"
Her voice went neutral and her eyes dimmed , Bei Shang could see the resolution in her eyes, there was no guilt , no pain ; the ill-fated love gone forever like the lifespan of a mortal.
'It takes only the heartless to become a god…'
It was a popular saying, but it was now he understood it clearly. It wasn't that this gods were heartless from the beginning , they had no choice but to be heartless.
To become a god , you must love and choose divinity over everything else.
Taohua put his hand over his chest, it was hurting so much, it was almost like he's suffocating.
Would he feel the same way after Hong Jin dies? Could he really find it in himself to kill him?
The heavens rumbled again. Shu hua looked at the sky and grabbed Taohua wrist.
" I am leaving, make sure you do what I said okay?"
She tightened her grip until he nodded slowly.
" Okay then I'll see you another time"
Long after She was gone , Taohua sat down on the ground and stared at the sky. He didn't move until the sky was turning dark.
Then he sighed, his mind already made up.
Nick was sitting outside as usual, his legs clasped together and his chin on his knees; His white hair was left to tumble over his shoulders.
When he saw Taohua, his eyes narrowed.
"What took you so long today?"
"Are we starting this again?"
Nick proceeded to his usual attack "Why don't you just die ?!"
'My feelings for him are what is going to be my downfall and all he tells me is to die. I have given so much to him yet he treats me this way.'
Taohua didn't know why he suddenly felt his vision becoming blurry , he lowered his eyes and turned to leave.
A hand grabbed him , the voice was harsh.
"it hurts right?"
"…."
"It hurts so much right?" The voice went softer before breaking down " Talk to me , talk to me Taohua please"
Bei Shang chest started hurting and he suddenly felt something roll down his cheek, then followed by another, then followed by another.
Nine hundred years of conscious existence and this was the first time the Almighty demi god cried.
"I am leaving"
The grip on his wrist tightened " Why?"
"Because our paths were not meant to cross at all …" A malicious intent suddenly rose in his heart and he turned to look at Nick, his voice was cold " After all , what does my noble lineage have to do with your dirty blood"
Nick eyes was cool almost like Taohua didn't just stab a sore spot.
"You haven't answered my question"
"Fuck off !!!" Taohua pushed him so hard , Nick crashed heavily. Taohua moved closer to help him up before remembering they were in a confrontation, he pointed then his finger at him instead " You deserved that"
Nick stood up , blood steeped from the side of his lips but he didn't seem to care " I give you one chance to take back what you said "
"Or what?"
"I will break your ankles"
Bei Shang suddenly felt his ankle hurting.
Taohua lips twitched " It can never happen, not even in a thousand years from now"
Bei Shang ankles even hurt more.
Nick realized that he really can't deal with this opponent, he moved closer and grabbed Taohua wrist again.
"When will you be back?"
Taohua didn't say a word. He pushed Nick again, this time a little gentler so he could land on his butt. Then he turned to leave.
"If you leave , I promise I will put the world into chaos , I will make you come back even if you ascend the heavens"
"Taohua !!!"
Taohua wrapped his coat tighter around himself then ran out of the courtyard without looking back.
The heavens rumbled and drops of rain fell down to the ground. Taohua body quickly turned wet and heavy.
He stopped in the middle of a clearing before holding his chest.
The pain wasn't from the dao , this pain was right in his heart like they were stabbing him with a knife.
Pita pata pita pata
Drops of water rolled down his cheeks to the ground, he rubbed it but it kept coming. Suddenly he couldn't take it anymore, he bent down and put his head in between his legs and burst into sobs.
' He can be someone important to me without it necessarily meaning love; I am not like the demons who holds affection so significantly it ruins their life and I am not like the mortals whose affection are frickle and shallow.'
Bei Shang remembered the conversation vividly and suddenly had the urge to laugh. He didn't know whether he should laugh at the bastard demon who couldn't express himself or the stupid demigod who had a harsh mouth but a soft heart.
"It hurts…" the words cried to the rain " it hurts so much "