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Chapter 5 - Congratulations, You’re Insane (Probably)

The instructors didn't even scold us.

That was how I knew it was bad.

They just stared at the footage, whispered among themselves, and then one of them — some middle-aged guy with a scar down his jaw — glanced in my direction and frowned.

He didn't speak. Didn't move. Just looked at me like I'd accidentally stepped on something sacred.

A few minutes later, I was "cleared" and released.

Which, in academy language, means: we have no idea what you did, kid, but someone much scarier will deal with you later.

By the time I got home, the sun was gone.

The apartment was dark, quiet — too quiet.

"...I'm home," I said out of habit.

Silence.

Right. No one to answer.

They'd been gone eleven years now — my parents, taken during the Silver Moon City incident. One of those stories people whisper about in training classes. They called it a "containment breach." I called it the day everything I loved got erased.

I threw myself onto the bed and groaned. My whole body ached. My bones felt like they'd been used to stir magma.

Pebble lay on the nightstand, faintly pulsing like a sleeping heartbeat.

"Don't explode again," I muttered. "My insurance doesn't cover spontaneous combustion."

I closed my eyes. The hum of the city outside faded. For the first time in hours, peace—

DING!

My eyes shot open.

System initialization complete.

What.

A glowing interface popped up midair above my bed. Blue light, floating text, little sparkly particles — like some kind of sci-fi video game tutorial.

[Welcome, Host!][You have successfully bonded with the Top-Up King System™!][Rule 1: Spending is winning!][Rule 2: All purchases come with cashback rebates up to 9999%!]

I blinked. "What."

[You look confused, Host! Let's fix that with a warm-up offer!][First-time bonus: 100 system credits + 10% rebate for all purchases!]

"…I'm dreaming."

[Dreams don't come with customer support, Host.]

I sat up, rubbing my temples. "So let me get this straight. You're telling me— I have a system."

[Affirmative!]

"A Top-Up King system."

[Correct!]

"The kind of system that rewards me for… spending money?"

[Smart Host! We like your energy! Would you like to open the shop menu?]

I just stared. Somewhere in the back of my head, my last few brain cells stood up, packed their bags, and left.

"I think the explosion scrambled my brain," I muttered. "This is it. I've officially gone mental."

[Mental stability 67%. Consider a healing purchase! Special discount: Mind Recovery Potion — only 20 credits!]

"Stop encouraging my insanity!"

[Apologies, Host. Encouragement module disabled. Would you prefer sarcasm?]

"NO!"

[Sarcasm mode: Enabled.]

"…"

Pebble — Rocky, as I'd started calling it — pulsed faintly from the nightstand. The system beeped again.

[Detected: Bound Entity — Name: Rocky. Classification: Dormant Contract Beast.][Upgrade options available!][Would you like to preview?]

"Oh sure," I said, already too tired to argue. "Show me the next hallucination."

The screen flickered. A hologram appeared — Rocky's current form, a small, cracked rock — then shifted, expanding, reshaping into something massive.

A hulking, obsidian figure of jagged stone, molten veins glowing through its arms. The text beside it read:

[Mountain Golem — EX+ Rank]A colossus forged from the bones of the world. Capable of terraforming terrain, crushing fortresses, and reducing tuition fees by intimidation alone.

I stared. Then looked at the actual Rocky, still sitting there like a depressed paperweight.

Then back at the hologram.

"…You've gotta be kidding me."

[Would you like to upgrade Rocky to Mountain Golem (EX+)? Only 10,000 credits!][Limited-time rebate: 50%! That's 5,000 credits back instantly!]

"Credits?! What credits?! You literally just spawned five minutes ago!"

[You have 100 credits from your new-user bonus!]

I groaned. "So, what, I'm supposed to buy power-ups with imaginary money?"

[Money is never imaginary, Host.]

"Are you hearing yourself?"

[Yes! I have excellent internal audio!]

I threw my pillow at the hologram. It phased right through.

Pebble glowed slightly, like it was laughing.

"I swear," I muttered. "I'm surrounded by idiots. One made of rock, the other made of code."

[Correction: I'm made of premium code, Host.]

I covered my face with both hands. "This is it. This is how the protagonist of human extinction loses it. Not in battle. Not in glory. Just… death by microtransactions."

[Reminder: Emotional instability detected. Would you like to open the Calm-Down Bundle Pack? Only—]

"SHUT UP!"

The system beeped twice. Then went silent.

Like it was… pouting?

Rocky gave a faint pulse, once, like a tiny boop.

"Don't you start too," I warned. "You— you're supposed to be a rock. Rocks don't evolve into discount gods of war."

Silence.

Then, faintly—

[Host currently in denial. Initiating observation mode.]

And just like that, the floating window faded away.

No sound. No glow. Nothing but me, a cracked rock, and the quiet hum of the night.

I fell back on my bed, staring at the ceiling.

"...Top-Up King System," I muttered to myself. "Yeah, right. Next thing you'll tell me it has a gacha event."

Pebble pulsed once, softly.

[Coming soon.]

"…I hate my life."

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