After the Spring Festival, no one could have imagined that Qiao Mo would leave Wangjiang and follow her third aunt to Shenzhen.
This was an arrangement made by her eldest aunt and uncle. Rather than drift aimlessly through her days in Wangjiang, they believed a change of scenery—seeking opportunities in a coastal city—might help her find her footing. Perhaps stepping beyond the shelter of home would teach her to strive forward. After all, don't fledglings learn to fly only after being kicked out of the nest by their mothers? Of course, those that fell to their deaths weren't mentioned—it was considered bad luck.
Auntie San was naturally eager to help with this matter. Though she'd never particularly liked Qiao Mo's dull temperament, she relished the feeling of being relied upon and needed by her family.
Yi Tongxi was both delighted and troubled by this. She sought out Qiao Mo for a heart-to-heart, asking what she truly thought.
Qiao Mo replied, "You know, after dropping out, I felt like my life was ruined. Every day was agonizing—filled with confusion, resentment, and helplessness. Over time, I grew numb. You know that saying—boiling a frog in gradually heated water? Can you imagine that feeling? If I hadn't been aware of it, or if I'd accepted being that frog, it might have been bearable. but the problem was I knew I was wallowing in the mud, watching myself rot away. That feeling was truly terrifying."
Yitongxi listened with her heart pounding. She'd never imagined life outside school could feel so helpless, nor did she know the usually taciturn Qiao Mo had endured so much anguish and self-reflection. Why had she kept it all bottled up before?
"Thank goodness you've come to see it now," Yi Tongxi sighed. "Sis, things will only get better for you. Try to be happier."
Qiao Mo smiled faintly. "I think people are truly strange. Whether it's the body or the spirit, there's this survival instinct that suddenly pulls you back when you're on the brink of despair. Like that day, I was sleeping at home and woke up at dusk. The room was quiet and dim—that kind of gloom after the sun sets, when the world feels utterly lifeless. The moment I opened my eyes, I blurted out a sentence. It wasn't my brain giving the command. Really, it was involuntary, uncontrollable—as if my soul spoke: What am I living for? Then it hit me—cold sweat broke out all over. I knew I couldn't keep going like this. I had to fight back, or it would truly be over."
Yi Tongxi felt a deep stir within her, a complex emotion she couldn't name. She looked at Qiao Mo's face and suddenly realized how beautiful she was when she smiled—more so than Aunt San had been in her youth. How could anyone say she was wooden? They were blind as bats.
At any rate, Qiao Mo had finally taken that step. Yi Tongxi believed it was a good sign, a sign of a bright future. A few days later, Yi Tongxi and Yi Yufei returned to campus for the new semester. They buried themselves once more in mountains of textbooks—reviewing, solving problems, taking exams, attending classes. When exhaustion set in, Yi Tongxi would wander over to the senior high building. Glancing at the countdown to the college entrance exams on their bulletin board, she imagined pushing through senior year and enduring those final days—as if doing so would reveal a bright new horizon. Their homeroom teacher had encouraged them the same way: college would be a breeze.
But the homeroom teacher would never tell them that after college, they'd enter the workforce and labor for thirty years—marrying, having children, caring for elderly parents, while facing potential illness, divorce, or unemployment. By the time they finally retired to enjoy some peace, their bodies and minds would be worn out, their health tested. They might still have to worry about their children's futures and marriages, exhausting themselves over their offspring's lives.
Doesn't it resemble a spinning top? From birth, save for those early years of feeding and diapers, humans spin ceaselessly—round and round—until death finally halts the whirl.
Is it exhausting? Is it worth it?
Young people often ponder such profound questions, but Yi Yufei doesn't. He even forbids Yi Tongxi from thinking about them, ever since a classmate who was always rather deep-thinking ended up in a mental hospital last semester.
Later, when Yi Yufei reflected on his sophomore and junior years, he realized the pressure was immense, and so were the impulses. It was understandable, then, that people might do some truly baffling things.
Bai Lihua, however, felt quite relieved. This semester, Yi Tongxi had become more self-disciplined. He'd come home in the evenings and obediently stay in his brother's room to do homework. When he didn't understand something, he'd ask his brother to explain it. They'd motivate each other to review, making things incredibly convenient.
Before he knew it, June arrived. With the college entrance exams behind him, Yi Yufei embarked on the longest summer vacation of his life so far. Bai Lihua had him take driving lessons to get his license, and beyond that, he spent his days tending the less than thirty-square-meter secondhand bookstore his grandfather ran.
Summer arrived, and his third aunt signed Grandpa up for a senior travel group to escape the heat in Qinhuangdao, leaving the secondhand bookstore in his grandson's care.
In July, the acceptance letters arrived. Living up to expectations, Yi Yufei gained admission to Wangjiang University, majoring in Engineering Cost Management. Rumor had it that after four or five years of work experience, passing the engineer certification exam would open up promising career prospects.
Yi Tongxi, however, had a rough time. With senior year approaching, she spent half the summer in remedial classes. By August, when all courses finally ended, she was deeply tanned and exhausted, collapsing like a sack of potatoes. After two days of lazily lounging at home, Bai Lihua sent her to help her brother run the store.
So every morning, while the sun was still gentle, Yi Yufei would leave home early to arrive at the bookstore on time to open it. Yi Tongxi, however, usually slept until 9:30, waking naturally. She would rise slowly, wash up, eat breakfast at home, then grab a can of ice-cold Coke. Wearing flip-flops and carrying a parasol, her bag packed with textbooks and homework, she would stroll leisurely to the shop.
The storefront featured a makeshift counter cobbled together from two wooden tables. Cigarettes were sold in the cabinet beneath, while a landline phone and computer sat on the countertop. Yi Yufei placed a small, low table beside it and spent over thirty yuan on a cushion, setting it up for Yi Tongxi to do her homework there.
Stacks of books piled up on shelves, in corners, on the floor, and even against people's legs. A large ceiling fan whirred overhead, filling the air with the scent of paper and ink. Every day, kids on vacation came to read comics here. Not many at a time, but when they got tired, they'd lean against the bookshelves or sit on the floor. Yi Yufei never minded. Occasionally, slender young girls would visit every few days—some buying books and leaving, others lingering silently for long stretches. But after Yi Tongxi arrived, they stopped coming altogether.
Lunch was usually handled by Yi Yufei. He'd cross the street to one of the many small eateries, bring back takeout, and by then, Yi Tongxi would have set up a folding table and small stool under the sunshade at the shop entrance. The two would eat there.
Afternoons on the street were quiet. With full stomachs, drowsiness crept in. In the coolest corner of the bookstore sat Grandpa's rocking chair, where Yi Tongxi might drift off for a nap. Like today, when Yi Yufei saw her lying there, legs crossed, slippers dangling from her toes, swaying gently. Soon, she'd be asleep, covered by a magazine.
That was their last carefree and affectionate summer together. A year later, everyone and everything had grown bleak and powerless.
In this August, roughly half a year had passed since Qiao Mo headed to Shenzhen. Though her third aunt owned a coffee shop, she couldn't possibly let Qiao Mo work there as a receptionist or barista: "If that's the kind of job you're aiming for, you needn't have come all the way to Shenzhen."
Back when she was with Zheng Guoxiong, she'd made quite a few friends. A few of them she still kept in touch with, including Mr. Feng, who ran a home furnishings company. He was a few years younger than her. During the early days of his business, he'd borrowed money from her to cover cash flow issues. They got along well, so she pulled some strings to get Qiao Mo a position in his company's sales department for some hands-on experience.
Having been burned by that good-for-nothing distant relative last time, Auntie San warned Qiao Mo beforehand: be diligent, make yourself likable, and above all, don't embarrass her.
Honestly, Qiao Mo felt a twinge of discomfort at the phrase "make yourself likable," but her mix of anticipation and dread about the new job left little room for overthinking.
The sales department—a veritable den of all sorts of people—was indeed a great place to learn. For the first two months, Qiao Mo's main task was to familiarize herself with the products and workflows. She had someone guiding her, so she picked things up fairly quickly. Still, she was afraid of asking too many questions and annoying people. Like that time she needed to receive a fax but didn't know how to use the machine. The sender had to dial the number three or four times before it finally came through. Her mentor, Miss Huang, finally raised her voice with obvious impatience: Didn't I tell you to press the start button? It's right in front of you—didn't you see it?" The entire office fell silent, as still as stagnant water. Qiao Mo desperately wished someone would step in—not to save the day, but just to change the subject... But no one did. Only awkwardness hung in the air.
Xixi, if it were you, what would you do?" she had confided over the phone back then.
Yitongxi replied awkwardly, "Probably... I'd ask her to explain clearly right from the start. If I really messed up, I'd just laugh it off with an apology and treat it like a farce. Otherwise, the longer I stayed silent, the more awkward it'd get. But that's just theoretical talk—if it actually happened, I'd be completely flustered."
Qiao Mo sighed gloomily, "My personality really is different from yours. Maybe I'm just not emotionally intelligent enough."
Yi Tongxi said, "It's okay. Every newbie in the workplace goes through this. Just focus on doing your job well."
At first, Qiao Mo had thought the same—work challenges could always be overcome. But the social obligations outside of work left her utterly drained.
So many gatherings she didn't want to attend, so many things she didn't want to do. She couldn't understand why people would hold a grudge against her for skipping dinners or not toasting during them.
Even worse was the workplace harassment.
That Manager Li from the Sales Department—in his early forties, outwardly proper and polished—would pull her aside for chats when no one else was around. He'd drift from work talk to personal matters, mentioning his past art studies. He'd lecture her on lines, shadows, coloring, and figure drawing. Each time, he'd smile suggestively, eyeing her up and down with a gaze that seemed to strip her naked.
Afterward, he'd casually brush against her thigh beneath her skirt before excusing himself.
"Xi Xi, this is disgusting. I feel like I'm gonna puke!"
It was August when Yi Tongxi received Qiao Mo's call. After listening, she too felt utterly sick to her stomach.
"What the hell kind of trash is that?! Did you tell Third Aunt?"
"I did."
"What did she say? Did she help you vent?"
Qiao Mo sneered coldly: "She said I was overthinking it. She's been at the company for years and never heard him harass anyone. All the other colleagues get along great with him—why did this happen to me? Then she called me narcissistic, saying I was misinterpreting his intentions. Finally, she added that if anyone really bullied me, she'd grab a knife and kill them. Hah. I bet if I got raped, she'd blame me for wearing too little."
Yi Tongxi was utterly stunned.
Qiao Mo suddenly spoke up: "Xi Xi, I wonder—if it had been you today, would Auntie San still say that?"
She froze, unsure how to respond.
That very evening, when her eldest aunt came over for dinner, Yi Tongxi brought up the incident, hoping her aunt could talk to Third Aunt. To her surprise, her aunt said, "If it really happened, there's nothing to be done. Such things are common in the workplace. Her boss wouldn't fire a talented employee over this. Should Qiao Mo quit? She'd likely face similar issues at another company. She can't keep jumping jobs forever. Anyway, she just needs to be smarter about it and avoid getting taken advantage of."
Yitongxi opened her mouth, a surge of anger rising to her head, unable to hold back any longer: "Even if this kind of thing is common, how can you treat it as normal and expected? Besides, she's my sister, our family member—don't you get angry?"
Auntie said, "What good does getting angry do? Society is like this, reality is like this. No matter how angry you are, you have to learn to accept it! If I were as wealthy as your third aunt, I wouldn't care whether she worked or not. But our family's circumstances are what they are, and your third aunt won't treat her like her own daughter. Qiao Mo must accept this reality."
Yi Tongxi truly detested the word "accept": "I'm calling Third Aunt."
"Don't be foolish," Yi Yufei interjected. Think about it—that company isn't even Auntie's. How could she possibly interfere? Besides, if you make that call, how will Qiao Mo explain herself to Auntie?"
"Exactly, exactly," Auntie chimed in. "Xi Xi, don't be ridiculous. What does a child know? Auntie found this job for her. If you call now to question her, won't that blow everything up? What if she just gives up and sends Qiao Mo home?"
Yi Tongxi felt like her entire worldview had been shattered.
That night, she tossed and turned, unable to sleep. She messaged Yi Yufei next door: "If my boss ever sexually harasses me in the future, will you guys tell me it's normal too? That I should be more resourceful and handle it myself?"
Unthinkable. Terrifying. She couldn't accept this attitude from family, no matter what.
Yi Yufei replied: "You're overthinking it. I'd just go to your company and beat that guy to a pulp."
Yi Tongxi asked a silly question: "Why?"
"Are you out of your mind? I'm your brother."
"What about Qiao Mo?"
After a moment, he replied, "I hate to say it, but a cousin isn't the same as a real sister."
"But you fought for her before, even got beaten bloody."
"And when you were little, you wanted to be Auntie San's daughter. What about now?"
He added, "People grow up. They drift apart."
"Will we too?"
He fell silent for a moment. "No, we won't. We're too closely related, Xixi."
Yitong Xi let out a slow sigh. She felt a twinge of pity for Qiao Mo, yet also a sense of relief for herself. She placed her phone on the nightstand, switched off the lamp, and sat in the darkness, quietly processing everything that had happened today.