For a long moment, she couldn't bring herself to speak. The ache in his voice pierced through the fragile barrier she'd built around herself. He wasn't just the man she'd inherited from Yueshuang's present life, he was flesh and blood, wounded and desperate, clinging to the only thing he believed was his.
She turned her head slightly, catching a glimpse of his reflection in the nearby mirror. His eyes, silver, glinting under the flickering lamplight, were filled with torment, not rage. He looked like a man breaking, begging to be seen beyond his title, his bloodline, his mistakes.
And for a fleeting second, her heart trembled. She almost reached for him.
Almost.
"Shuang'er…" he breathed, his voice rough with fear and pleading, the sound trembling against her hair.
For a heartbeat, she stilled, her cheek pressed against his chest, feeling the familiar rhythm of his heart. It should have been comforting, grounding but instead, it felt like chains.
Her hands clenched weakly against him before she whispered, almost too softly, "Don't make this harder for me, Lian. You should be the one understanding me more than everyone else..."
But how was he going to understand her? Just imagining her lying on a bed beneath another man's shadow was enough to drive him mad! How was he going to understand that she was about to walk willingly into another territory, another Alpha's den? How was he supposed to accept that her life, her scent, her very soul would soon be bound to another man by law, by bond, by fate?
The thought gutted him. A sharp, primal fury rose in his chest, clawing at the edges of his reason. His wolf stirred beneath his skin, restless and snarling, wanting to tear down every wall that stood between them, to mark her again until no one could claim her. His breath came heavy, uneven. His jaw locked, and his hands trembled where they held her, torn between pulling her closer and letting her go before he broke her with his desperation.
He lowered his head, his voice a low, ragged whisper against her ear, "Tell me, Shuang'er… how am I supposed to watch you belong to someone else and still breathe? Tell me, if it were you, how would you have understood?
Of course, she couldn't have understood him, because this was betrayal! If she were in his situation, she wouldn't have understood.
Her breath caught. For a moment, she couldn't speak, his words struck too close, too deep. The anguish in his tone, raw and unguarded, unravelled something inside her. She had seen men in battle, fierce and unyielding, but never like this, never pleading, never so painfully human.
"I wish you didn't have to, and I wish we weren't in such a situation..." she whispered, her voice barely audible. "But if I stay, it will destroy everything. You, me, the clans… even the child." Her voice broke on the last word, trembling like a secret she wished she'd never spoken.
Lian's arms tightened around her, his breath hitching. "Then let it destroy everything," he rasped. " I'd rather face ruin than live a life without you."
Her eyes closed, tears slipping silently down her cheeks. "You can say that now," she murmured, "but when the ruin comes, you'll remember I warned you."
Then, with a sudden surge of strength born of something beyond the body's limits, will, grief, or the echo of a promise she no longer remembered making, she pushed him away.
He staggered back, unprepared for the force in her small frame. Her eyes burned with that cold light again, the tenderness gone, replaced by a calm determination that chilled him to his core.
"Rest," she said, her tone distant now, almost formal. "When the curse flares next, I'll already be gone."
" Shuang'er.....!"
" I promise you, I will never betray you! I will stay pure for you, and I won't mate or form a bond with that man... That's my promise... I guess, that can put your heart and mind at ease...." This was certain, of course, she didn't have any plans of sleeping with her enemy, or forming a mate bond with him.
"Shuang'er....."
She didn't look back. Her bare feet touched the cold floor as she hurried toward the door, the hem of her robe whispering against the stone. Lian's voice caught in his throat as he reached after her, but the words died before they could escape.
By the time his wolf instincts jolted him into motion, she had already slipped through the door. The soft thud of it closing echoed through the chamber like the final beat of a dying heart.
He stood there, frozen, her scent still lingering, fading slowly into the storm-heavy air, and for the first time in years, Yuwen Lian felt something worse than pain.
Helplessness.