"Minato."
Sensing Namikaze Minato's complicated feelings, Uchiha Yorin reached out and clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Be strong."
Minato fell silent for a few more seconds. Only when he saw the "local specialties" Yorin had brought back did he feel slightly comforted; he nodded, and Yorin began his pitch:
"This is Ryūchi Cave's sixth-gen virility powder. This is Mount Myōboku's second-gen toad oil. And this one's the real deal—Shikkotsu Forest's fourth-gen slug face mask. I think this one is what you need most."
Minato: "This toad oil… it helps with hair loss, right? Right?"
Yorin: "Oh, and this—I went all the way to the Land of Snow to bring you a special local treat."
Minato: "…"
He was quiet for a few seconds, then said to Yorin, "Pakura I can accept, but Mei Terumi…"
Of course Minato knew about Mei leaking Kiri secrets.
That video of her, looking like she'd chugged fake liquor, cussing out Yagura Karatachi—was one of Minato's few amusements lately.
Mainly because his wife was about to hit her due date. Unlike Yorin, Minato had been… pent-up these past few days.
Which made Yorin wonder if he should arrange a couple of Uchiha girls to give Minato a little "affair." If Minato slipped and one shot hit the mark, next year someone could be standing at Minato's door with a baby shouting "Scumbag!" hee-hee.
…
Minato suddenly felt a chill. He glanced around suspiciously, saw nothing, and looked back at Yorin. He believed Yorin could persuade him.
Sure enough.
Exactly.
Yorin: "Because we're going to use this girl."
He patted Mei's shoulder and told Minato:
"Minato, Kiri's stability is about to blow. Yagura, that bastard, has been running the place into the ground—public anger's sky high. If I were Kiri, I'd draw my sword and march on the office, lay out the case, chop Yagura into eight pieces and sell him to the Daimyo.
"In that situation, Mei is useful."
"Oh." Minato nodded. "So we talk to the future Mizukage through Mei? That gets us some starting goodwill?"
As expected of Minato—he'd improved under Yorin. Unfortunately, this time he guessed wrong:
"Wrong! We wait until they fail their rebellion, then, in Mei's name, recruit those Kiri defectors. Take it further—build a Kiri auxiliary corps on that base, coordinate with Konoha's power, smash Kiri in one go, and swallow the village!"
Danger flashed in Yorin's eyes, and Minato couldn't help swallowing.
What the hell—swallow a great village in one gulp? Is this really okay?
He'd thought Yorin was already crazy enough, but only now did he realize there was a huge chasm between his original judgment and the real Yorin.
"Is this really okay—never mind whether we can pull it off—say we do; how many lives and how much strength does it cost?
"And beyond that—after we bleed to annex Kiri, how will the other three villages look at us?
"Won't Suna, Kumo, and Iwa form a coalition and attack? If all three move at once—even Konoha would struggle to hold!"
"Yes. Exactly. I'll answer your second question first."
Yorin smiled, slipped an arm around Mei's waist, pulling the shy girl closer. "Come—pay respects to the Fifth Mizukage, Mei Terumi."
Minato: "Rule Kiri in Mei's name… If that's the case, the resistance might be less, but…"
"No buts. Don't be so timid, Minato. I'll give you some good news—while you're still hesitating, your good student has already achieved this."
Minato: "??"
Harem-Sannin Trio: "???"
Anbu guarding Minato in secret: "Is it too late to stab our own eardrums and claim deafness? Oh right, we do have the brainwash unit. Never mind."
The Anbu boys held oceans of resentment for Boss Yorin.
Almost every time this guy finished talking to Minato, the squad on duty had to volunteer to report to the brainwash department to scrub the memory—just in case a few hundred kunai got planted in their backs and their deaths ruled "suicide."
Yes, in a secret outfit like Anbu, mind-wipes are SOP. Too many, though, and you start turning stupid.
They traded glances and decided that next time Anbu voted for a general commander, they'd throw a ballot to Yorin—
Not because they were spineless—but in hopes that Boss Yorin would go easy on the little guys.
…
Minato: "You mean…"
He froze, then thought of a terrifying possibility. "You mean Obito has been controlling Kiri from the shadows?!"
Mei Terumi: "What the hell?!"
Compared to Minato, Mei was far more agitated. They were talking about her village.
So the Fourth Mizukage wasn't truly insane—he was brain-jacked by the "born-evil" Konoha brat?! Doesn't that mean—
Yorin: "They got his lover killed—so now he wants to destroy the world. A complete lunatic. He's already defected. Oh—and I've talked the clan head into scrubbing him from the family tree. That kid has nothing to do with the Uchiha anymore."
Mei: "Uchiha?!"
Of course—the only ones with the power to hypnotize a Kage-level are those "born-evil Uchiha!"
"Damn it!!"
Yorin: "You're already a rogue-nin—there's a ten-million bounty on your head, remember."
Seeing Mei about to turn into Index and bite his skull, Yorin lobbed a casual line for critical damage—Mei fell silent.
Right—she was already a rogue-nin. From now on she could only cling to the shelter of this crazy man. And the root cause of this misery—also Uchiha.
"I shouldn't have taken the mission to assassinate Pakura."
Mei spiraled into muttering: "If I hadn't taken that job, I wouldn't have been beaten by Yorin. If I hadn't been beaten by Yorin, I wouldn't be in this state… huh?"
She felt a hand on her shoulder—looked up—it was Pakura.
"I don't blame you. I forgive you," Pakura said gently.
And Mei cried even harder.