Rover instinctively squeezed.
"Ugh!"
The Saintess let out a soft, feminine sound—so alluring it snapped everyone back to their senses.
Rover: "..."
In that instant, Rover realized he had just done something utterly horrifying. But it wasn't intentional—he'd simply reacted out of instinct! And that gust of wind just now… how could it have been so perfectly timed?
The hall was sealed shut. There shouldn't have been any wind at all.
'Goddammit! Don't tell me Alex used magic to push me into this mess?' Rover thought furiously. It was the only logical explanation.
There was no way he'd fall so conveniently—or that his hand would "accidentally" land on the Saintess's stomach.
None of this made sense. He wasn't some God of Falling, doomed to end up in lewd positions with women every time he tripped.
Taking a deep breath, Rover stammered, "If… if I said it was because… a gust of wind made me slip, would you believe me?"
The Saintess lowered her head slightly and nodded. "Uhm… I believe you. But… could you please let go now?"
"Ah! Hahaha…" Rover quickly stepped back, laughing awkwardly. Inside, he felt as though he had just escaped from the gates of hell.
'Thank God she's merciful… if not, I'd already be in pieces right now,' Rover thought with relief.
Then, without thinking, he raised the hand that had just touched her abdomen and sniffed it.
'So fragrant… like perfume, but also like her natural scent.'
"Could you… not do that, please?" the Saintess said softly. Her voice carried a faint tremor of embarrassment.
"Ack!" Rover flinched, wishing he could slap himself. That had just been pure reflex—really! He wasn't doing it because he was a pervert.
Well… he did want to smell it for real, but not in front of an entire audience.
No, no—he was just curious. Curious, not perverted.
The Saintess covered her stomach with both hands, her expression adorably flustered.
"You bastard!" Alex suddenly roared. He slipped past the guard's blade and charged straight at Rover.
But before he could reach him—
BAM!
"ACK!"
Another white-robed woman appeared out of nowhere and kicked Alex squarely in the abdomen. His body flew backward several meters, rolling twice before stopping.
He clutched his stomach, groaning, "Ugh… you bastard! Agh!"
Pfft! Blood sprayed from his mouth as his face turned pale.
"Alex! My son!" Stanley shouted in shock. "You—!"
"Those who show disrespect to the Saintess must be punished," one of the women said coldly. She raised her sword high, ready to strike.
Gritting his teeth through the pain, Alex growled, "Are you blind?! He's the one who touched the Saintess! Why are you punishing me instead of him?!"
The woman's expression remained emotionless, her voice mechanical. "Because the Saintess permitted him to touch her."
"You…" Alex trembled with rage, his eyes burning red as he glared at Rover with murderous hatred.
Stanley looked between Rover and Alex, his mind in chaos.
This wasn't how things were supposed to go. Rover should have been the one punished, and Alex—the gifted prodigy—should have been the one favored by the Saintess.
Why had everything flipped upside down?
Could it be that the Saintess had mistaken Rover for the prodigy?
No, that made no sense. Stanley had introduced them clearly—Alex was the talented Awakened one, while Rover was just a lazy commoner.
Even if he couldn't understand it, Stanley knew what he had to do.
He quickly said, "Saintess! Alex was only concerned for your safety. Please, forgive him."
The Saintess didn't even glance at Stanley or Alex. Her voice was calm and faintly cold as she replied, "Did I ask for your concern?"
Stanley almost wanted to cry after hearing the Saintess's cold and indifferent tone—so completely opposite from the gentle, shy woman who had just spoken to Rover minutes ago.
Where was the blushing, merciful Saintess from earlier?
"But…" she continued softly, "he's lucky. Since he's Rover's brother, I'll forgive him this once."
The white-robed women quietly sheathed their swords and stood still again, unmoving like statues.
Alex tried to rise, but the pain in his stomach forced him back down, sweat pouring down his pale face.
The Saintess turned her eyes toward Rover and asked gently, "Rover, do you know why I'm here today?"
"Heh?!" Rover blinked, confused. "No, I don't."
The Saintess glanced toward Stanley, who immediately understood and began explaining. "Rover, you already know that in recent years, Dungeons have been appearing more and more frequently, right?"
Rover nodded.
He knew that in this world, there existed something called energy flow. Naturally, that energy was divided into two types—normal energy and dark energy.
Dark energy originated from the Demon Realm. When it accumulated in one place for too long, it could form a gate connecting the Human Realm and the Demon Realm.
Such places were known as Dungeons.
Dungeons were not only extremely dangerous but also sources of opportunity for Adventurers and Awakened ones seeking fortune.
After all, monster bodies were highly valuable, and each creature contained Energy Crystals—a currency worth a fortune in the Human Realm.
Stanley continued, "The number of Dungeons keeps increasing, while the number of Adventurers and Awakened individuals is limited. If this continues, everything could spiral out of control."
"That's why the Saintess has come to investigate the cause and find a solution. However, since she's from the Church and unfamiliar with the region, she needs a guide."
"Ah!" Rover nodded slightly. It all started to make sense now.
"Saintess!" Alex, still trembling from pain, forced himself to speak. "My brother spends every day hiding indoors. He's so lazy he doesn't participate in any family duties!"
"He knows nothing about the outside world and is just an ordinary man. You can't possibly choose him!"
The Saintess said nothing, only raised her hand lightly.
A white-robed woman approached Alex and kicked.
BAM!
"ACK!"
Alex's stomach felt like it had exploded. He spat out another mouthful of blood, nearly fainting as his face turned ghostly pale.
"Alex!" Stanley cried out in alarm, panic flooding his face. He quickly clasped his hands together and bowed deeply toward the Saintess. "Saintess, please, forgive him! What Alex said wasn't entirely wrong. Rover, he—"
The Saintess raised her hand slightly, and Stanley immediately shut his mouth, not daring to utter another word.
Though he was a Count, he was already retired—his power was limited. His family's future relied entirely on his prodigy son, Alex, to keep the family's prestige alive.
Before the Saintess, he was nothing more than an ant. One single word from her could erase the Sterling Family from existence.
Rover sighed, feeling exhausted by how tense things had become.
'Goddammit! I just wanted a peaceful life and my dream of a few wives. Why am I getting dragged into this absurd situation?'
He exhaled deeply and said softly, "Saintess, Alex is right. I'm lazy, I rarely go outside, and I'm just an ordinary man."
"You're on a sacred and dangerous mission. Alex would clearly be the better choice."
Alex gritted his teeth, growling, "Rover, I don't need your pity! I, Alex, am a genius Awakened! I don't need sympathy from a lowlife like you!"
Pfft!
No sooner had he finished speaking than he spat out another mouthful of blood—but his face remained defiant, his expression that of a man facing death with pride.
Rover: "…"
He felt as if he had been isekai'd into a Low IQ novel, surrounded by idiotic characters.
Rubbing his forehead, he sighed internally. 'For God's sake, could everyone stop being so stupid? Readers these days are smarter than this—they wouldn't swallow this kind of nonsense!'
Sure, being chosen by the Saintess might seem like an incredible honor, but Rover knew better—this was a death sentence wrapped in holy silk.
Following the Saintess was like riding a tiger. As long as the tiger was full and happy, things were fine—but once it grew hungry or angry, the first prey it would devour was the rider.
He only wanted a quiet life, a few beautiful wives, and some peace. Why was fate pushing him down such a dangerous path?
"I've decided," the Saintess said finally. "Rover, starting tomorrow, you'll be my guide."
Rover: "…"