Chapter 3: Romance Starts with Friendship.
The first class back at school brought Ren an enormous shock.
It was one thing that his deskmate Gotou Hitori seemed like an alien, but after turning into a paramecium, she then transformed into pink jelly and slime. Not only did she wriggle on her chair, but she also crawled around on the desk. After who-knows-what crossed her mind, she could instantly revert to her original form while emitting... well, a lewd grin.
It was kinda creepy, but after watching her for a while, he found her rather cute.
Damn, have I become this desperate!?
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Ren helplessly covered his face. Though his deskmate was a bit strange, upon closer inspection, he realized she was actually quite adorable.
Her fashion sense was just outdated—insisting on wearing a tracksuit jacket over her school uniform, and trousers under her school skirt instead of stockings. Even if a national goddess wore this outfit, she'd look absolutely terrible.
Plus, her bangs were too long, covering her eyes and instantly cutting her attractiveness in half.
Maybe this was alien aesthetics?
But that wasn't the most important thing. The key point was that even while wearing that jacket and slightly hunched over, her chest still showed a distinct curve.
What was this? A hidden bombshell!
Though Ren lacked real-life experience with countless women, he had watched plenty of videos—his theoretical knowledge was maxed out. So with just a fleeting glance, he could confidently confirm that his deskmate had a great figure, one that didn't seem like a high school student's.
She was just a bit odd.
But as the saying goes, once the lights are off, they're all the same.
When it came to finding a girlfriend, Ren had clear goals.
Looking back after starting work, he realized those female classmates who used to let him copy homework and share snacks weren't just being kind. If only he'd been more proactive back in school, he wouldn't have stayed single all this time.
Studying? Study my ass!
Still, Ren wasn't about to confess on the first day or anything. Though he didn't watch much anime, he'd heard that confessing right away would only earn him a "nice guy" card. At the very least, he should build a good relationship and see if he could ask her out to hang out first, right?
Surely she wouldn't accept all his kindness and then say, "I just see you as a friend," would she? No way, no way?
Snapping back to reality, Ren had already collected his textbooks and returned to the classroom. His deskmate, Hitori, wasn't joining the small groups chatting and messing around nearby; instead, she was hunched over, head bowed, lost in thought.
"Gotou-san, you..."
"Eek!? Uh—"
The moment Ren tried to speak to Hitori, she transformed again upon realizing he was addressing her.
"..."
Maybe he should consider other girls instead.
Though he had discovered Hitori was a treasure trove of a girl with enormous breasts, this treasure was truly a bit abnormal. Ren felt he could consider changing targets.
But he was an honest man—the sight of such ample curves made him unable to walk away. Moreover, Hitori was his deskmate, the person he interacted with most at school, making her far easier to approach than others.
As for everyone else, Ren scanned the classroom and found few with good figures. The girl in front of him had messy hair, wasting her brilliant golden locks, and would immediately slump on the desk to sleep after class. She was, so to speak, the very definition of a genuine student—her post-class napping posture looked utterly authentic.
This time, Hitori had transformed into a pink hammer snake, rendered completely speechless. Ren thus gave up trying to converse with her and turned his attention back to studying.
Just kidding—learning knows no bounds. How could he not study? The system had just granted him the ability to master anything he learned—it'd be a waste not to use it.
And so, Ren took out his phone to tackle calculus problems that would have cured his insomnia in the past. The solutions flowed through his mind like answer keys, and he wrote them out more smoothly than a printer.
Could I develop AI or even enter medical research to cure cancer now?
With such an ability, limiting himself to calculus seemed wasteful. But Ren, who had worked himself to death in his previous life, harbored no such grand ambitions.
His system was called the "Slacker Life System" after all—asking him to strive would be downright cruel. He just wanted to happily idle away his days. This skill was something he could choose not to use, but having it was essential.
"W-Watanabe-kun, d-did you c-call me earlier?"
Another class ended. Ren, who had secretly been on his phone the whole period, looked up in surprise at his deskmate's question. Hitori was actually initiating conversation? Truly unbelievable.
But this meant Hitori was capable of communication after all—that was enough.
Ren's reason for speaking to her was actually simple: "I arrived late and don't know many classmates well, so I thought I'd start by becoming friends with you."
He planned to employ the friend strategy. Since school had just started, he believed taking the initiative could lead to friendship with Hitori. Besides, she didn't seem to have any friends herself, increasing his chances of success.
"F-f-f-f-friends!? W-with m-m-me!?"
Yet Hitori reacted as if she'd heard something unimaginable. After her disbelieving retort, her entire body stiffened.
Literally stiffened—she straightened her previously hunched posture against the chairback, then slowly slid off to collapse on the floor, becoming a puddle of pink sludge.
"..."
After just one morning, Ren was already accustomed to such sights. With mild concern he asked, "Gotou-san, are you alright?"
"I'm fine! Mph~!!"
When spoken to, Hitori instantly reverted to her original state, then bumped her head against the underside of the desk. Clutching her head in pain, she let out a muffled groan, but before Ren could express concern, she naturally broke into a blissful smile, giggling "hee hee hee" with little flowers and suns radiating around her.
I have a friend! And it's a handsome guy who actively wants to be friends with me!
Mom, Dad, Futari, you guys... My life's wish has been fulfilled. I can peacefully find a dark corner to mold away and welcome death.
Ren couldn't hear Hitori's internal monologue, but watching her bizarre behavior made him think that even if he couldn't pursue her romantically in the end, keeping her as a pet or friend would still be quite amusing. At least he'd never seen someone who could randomly transform on the spot.
"If you're okay now, let's exchange Line contacts first."
After Hitori emerged from her blissful daze, Ren waved his phone. Since they were already friends, they might as well add each other on Line.
"It would be my honor, Lord Watanabe. How much friend compensation do you think would be appropriate per week?"
Hearing they would also be adding each other on Line, Hitori happily transformed into a pink ghost floating up to the ceiling. Realizing she couldn't add friends in this form, she transformed back and respectfully presented her phone to Ren with both hands.
Her rough, ugly claws couldn't possibly input Lord Watanabe's Line ID, it would defile its sacredness.
"What's this about friend compensation? I never mentioned anything like that."
"Bullying?"
Ren wasn't the only one who heard Hitori's words. While he muttered this and took her phone to input his Line ID, both he and the student sitting in front of Hitori turned with unfriendly expressions toward Ren.
Ren finally got a clear look at the other person's appearance, an adorable face with golden hair and blue eyes, but with dark circles under them. The fierce expression didn't have an intimidating effect at all, instead making her look even cuter.
"No, it's just that Gotou's reaction was too exaggerated. Hello, I'm Watanabe Ren."
After adding each other as friends, Ren returned the phone to Hitori and explained to the front desk student. Among the people he hated most were bullies, regardless of age, they should all be executed.
"You can call me Gabriel."
Glancing at Hitori who was holding her phone so happily she seemed about to melt, Gabriel realized she had misunderstood. After giving her name, she turned back to bury her head in the desk for a nap.
Gabriel?
That doesn't sound like a Japanese name. Isn't that the seraph Gabriel from next door?
After this mental complaint, Ren didn't disturb Gabriel's nap or interrupt Hitori immersed in her happiness. Instead, he pondered what to eat for lunch, he didn't have a bento, and wondered if Toyosaki's cafeteria was any good.