It was a rainy evening, and the cold wind was raging in the city with fallen leaves. Le Yao and I stood at the door of the city's maternity hospital with umbrellas. In the crowd, she looked at me with a pale face.
"Zhaoyang, I'm pregnant."
I was stunned for a moment, and then stared and said, "Find someone who made you pregnant. Why did you call me to ask me out?"
"I've slept with a man with you this year. Who am I looking for if I don't look for you?" I said that I slept with a woman in a year. Do you believe it?"
"Zhaoyang, are you a man?"
"Everyone is out to play. Don't rely on me for this kind of thing. If you want me to be responsible, just bring out some practical things. Don't play with me for nothing. Who is willing to be a confused father?"
Le Yao was silent for a moment and said to me, "The child has been removed. There is no other certificate. I was a little angry: "Do you think I look like Kaizi? Your child was taken away, and then..." I raised my hand and said speechlessly, "Then, tell me that the child is from Zhaoyang. Are you fake innocence or am I really stupid? ...Le Yao, we are all adults. Can we do something decent?"
Le Yao bit her lip and looked at me for a long time, "You don't want to be responsible, do you? I'll go to your company tomorrow..."
"Shit... What about you!" I said angrily.
Le Yao bit her lips tightly and looked at me, but I thought she was a good actress. I met her in the bar, and then we fell in love. A woman who often went to the bar said that she had sex with a man for a year. If I believe her, I would be a fool.
I didn't want to be entangled with her anymore. I took out my wallet, pulled out all the 100-yuan banknotes in it and handed them to her: "Don't you just want money? Take it. Don't bother me in the future!"
Le Yao didn't say anything and didn't bother me anymore. She nodded, turned around and walked to the hospital with an umbrella, as if there were any outstanding expenses...
Looking at her lonely back in the rain, I suddenly had an indescribable emotion in my heart. Although I didn't believe that the child in her belly was mine, and although I was tired of her, I felt that she must not have a good life now, otherwise she would not have slandered me like this.
I was silent for a long time and finally stopped her: "Wait..."
Le Yao looked back at me.
I took out a bank card from my wallet and handed it to her: "This card can overdraw some money. You have just finished the operation. Buy something to make up for yourself."
Le Yao didn't answer: "...No, it's my purpose to see that you are willing to take responsibility. I came to you because I don't want to be fooled and get pregnant in a daze!"
...
In the bar, I was waiting for Fang Yuan, my only friend and colleague in the city.
From the first day of coming to this bar, I have seen too many lonely women and empty men drinking all kinds of wine here, or silent, or looking for something called "drunken life and dream of death" in their eyes full of desire.
In fact, when we throw away the body of the day and let the soul get lost in this bright red wine, we are already drunk and dreamy.
I forgot that since one night, I have regarded this place as a place to settle down. I like the women who twist their waists here, the shaking lights, the wine of various colors, the perfume mixed with the smell of tobacco, the drunken life and death here, and then in the drunken life and death, the messy past is carved into a tombstone.
I lit a cigarette, smoked the film on the cigarette box, covered it in front of me, looked at the swaying light, and my body swayed with it. In the light refracted by the film, I seemed to see a kind of erosion! I can't help but be a little distracted!
.....
Fang Yuan pulled off the film in my hand, and my world suddenly became clear again.
"What's the matter with me in such a hurry?" Fang Yuan put down the briefcase in his hand, took out a cigarette from my cigarette box and lit it for himself.
"Borrow some money, I'm fucking being extorted!"
"Did you make the girl's belly bigger again?" Fang Yuan said strangely.
"It's your uncle again! I was really blackmailed this time..."
"Who is torting you this time?"
"Why are you asking so much nonsense?"
"I borrow thousands or thousands of yuan from you every time. At least you let me know that my money has been extorted by someone, right?"
"Le Yao." I lit a cigarette in anger and said.
"That flat model?"
"Isn't it just her? The noble circle is a thief. She said that she was slept by a man like me in a year. Do you believe it? Fang Yuan, this matter will be left to you. Do you believe it?" I knocked on the table with my excited fingers.
"This kind of thing can't happen to me. Besides, she didn't cheat you for thousands of yuan. Last month, the promotional posters of our department store were all taken by her, and the reward alone was more than 10,000 yuan..."
I sneered and interrupted Fang Yuan and said, "Don't you look at what she usually spends? Can she spend more than 10,000 yuan for a month? Now she has an accident with others, and she has no money to take care of the aftermath. She thinks of my cheap friend again... I'm really cheap. I shouldn't have introduced her to our company at the beginning. I didn't give her money to earn less, and now she still cheats me. Do you still have a little conscience in the industry?"
Fang Yuan ignored my anger and asked me in a low voice, "Have you taken any measures?"
After thinking about it for a long time, I only remember that I was almost drunk at that time. I really can't remember it. For a long time, I said, "I'm sure... I can't say that I was cheated!"
Fang Yuan looked at me suspiciously, and then sighed for a long time and said to me, "Zhaoyang, we have been friends for almost ten years. Sometimes I really want to persuade you. I know that Jian Wei broke up with you, which is a great blow to you, but it's been two years. You really don't need to practice yourself like this... Youth doesn't wait for anyone. Find a girlfriend to be down-to-earth, okay?"
When the name Jian Wei was mentioned again, I was subconsciously stunned and said, "Don't fuck. I'm free. I'm doing well, buddy!"
"There is no shortage of troubles! Right?"
...
Fang Yuan enlightened me for a long time, and I was impatient for a long time. Finally, he left a sentence that "the rotten mud can't support the wall" and left with dissatisfaction, but forgot that I borrowed money from him.
Fortunately, I have been in the bar for two years, and I often bring some friends to the bar to spend money. I am quite familiar with the bar owner, and the consumption of drinking this time is temporarily recorded in the account.
Walking out of the bar and walking on the streets wet with rain with an umbrella, I really experienced what it means to be alone. I have struggled in this city for two years, but what I have gained is endless emptiness and loneliness. In order to get rid of this poison-like emptiness and loneliness, I have to wear a mask to hide my shame and live. With this mask, I can live with peace of mind in the free flow.
But no matter how much I struggle on the edge of pain, she will never come back!
.....
I walked a few stops alone in a daze before returning to the community where I lived. This is an old community, and there is not even a property. On the first day of coming, I heard from the aunts in the community that this community was built in the early 1990s. Under the erosion of a long period of years, every building in the community looks so decadent, but one is next to another, as if they are afraid that they are lonely, so it seems that every building has life again. This makes me feel that when the night is quiet, they will also whisper a few words to relieve decades of loneliness.
With a cigarette in my mouth, I took out the key from my pocket and walked to the building where I lived. This building is the only building with creepers in the community. Every summer, the walls facing south will be very green. If these buildings are also gender-different, then this building is undoubtedly a woman, an indifferent woman.
It often makes people feel sad for her!
...
What surprised me was that a red Audi Q7 was parked downstairs in this dilapidated building. In my memory, after living here for two years, there seemed to be no car of more than 500,000 yuan in this community.
Without thinking much, I whistled and walked along the corridor to the house where I lived. When I reached the top floor, I was surprised to find that the door of the room was actually hidden. I remembered that when I left, the door was obviously locked. I subconsciously thought that there was a thief at home. After calming down, I remembered that I had not paid the rent to the landlord Lao Li for two months. Most of the time, Lao Li came to urge me to rent.
Pushing the door open, the landlord Lao Li sat on the sofa with a strange woman. There was a string of Audi Q7 keys on the coffee table. There was no doubt that the Q7 parked downstairs was the strange girl's.
Then a question flashed in my mind: What is the magic of Lao Li, a marketer? Unexpectedly, such a noble and inviolable girl like a white lily appeared in this simple room, which really puzzled me! ...