Freedom.
The air in the Great Outside was thick with a thousand new smells, a dizzying cocktail of damp earth, car fumes, and a dozen other mysterious things my indoor nose couldn't begin to process. It was… a lot. I stood frozen on the doormat, a fluffy statue of terror and excitement. The wind rustled my fur. A car roared past on the street—a terrifying metal beast—and I flattened myself to the ground, my heart hammering against my ribs.
Okay. Maybe this was a bad idea. The Purr-ifier was warm. The food bowl was reliable. Yuna gave pretty decent chin scratches when she wasn't introducing demonic yellow flowers into my life.
But then I thought of the blue butterfly. I thought of a world without citrus-scented invaders. An adventurer doesn't turn back at the first sign of a metal beast. I am Aki, Lord of… well, currently Lord of this small concrete porch. But my future kingdom awaited!
My quest began with the first great obstacle: The Lawn. This wasn't like the soft rug inside. This was a jungle of spiky green things, damp and cold against my pristine paws. I tiptoed through it, lifting each foot high, feeling deeply offended by the texture. Every rustle in the bushes was a potential monster, every bird chirping overhead was a spy reporting my position to some unseen enemy. This was serious business.
I made it to the edge of the property, peering around the giant, leafy bush that marked the border. Ahead of me lay the second great trial: The Sidewalk. A vast, pale grey desert stretching into infinity. I took a deep breath and bolted across the open space, my little legs pumping as fast as they could. I expected to be attacked at any moment, maybe by one of those loud, two-wheeled contraptions the smaller humans ride, but I made it to the other side unscathed.
I was hiding under another bush, catching my breath and grooming my now-disheveled fur, when the first true monster appeared.
It was enormous, a shaggy white beast with a lolling pink tongue and a tail that swung back and forth like a weapon. It let out a series of deafeningly cheerful 'woofs' as its giant human dragged it along on a rope. I held my breath as it passed, its giant nose sniffing the air. It paused, its head tilted. It could smell my courage. Or maybe my salmon-flavored breakfast. Either way, it was too close. The giant human tugged the rope, and the beast moved on, oblivious to the heroic saga unfolding in the shrubbery. I let out a shaky breath. That was a close one. A poodle, I think Yuna calls them. A terrifying breed.
My journey continued. I was a shadow, a whisper, a ghost flitting from one hiding spot to the next. I navigated treacherous garden gnome territories, narrowly avoided a deadly sprinkler trap that spat water in unpredictable bursts, and bravely faced down a plastic flamingo that stared at me with cold, dead eyes. The world was more perilous than I could have ever imagined. I'd been gone for at least… seven minutes. It felt like a lifetime.
I was starting to feel discouraged. The Great Outside was mostly just… outside. It was big and kind of dirty. I hadn't seen a single field of perfect pink flowers. Perhaps my quest was a fool's errand.
And then, I smelled it.
It hit me like a physical force, a scent so intoxicating it made my whiskers tingle. It was floral, but not just one flower. It was a symphony of them. It was the smell of the dramatic pink one from my windowsill, but multiplied by a thousand. It was sweet and rich and it was, without a doubt, the scent of paradise.
All thoughts of danger vanished. All memory of the warm Purr-ifier faded. I had a new purpose. I had to find the source of that smell.
I followed my nose, my pace quickening. I trotted down the grey desert, my tail held high. I was no longer a scared little fluffball; I was a connoisseur on the hunt. The scent grew stronger as I passed two more houses, leading me towards a tall wooden fence. The smell was coming from the other side.
This was it. The final gate to my floral nirvana.
Finding a gap at the bottom, I squeezed my way through, my heart thrumming with anticipation. I emerged into a wonderland.
It was… breathtaking. There were flowers everywhere. Big, velvety red ones that Yuna called roses. Tall, elegant white ones that looked like trumpets. Puffy blue and purple clouds of hydrangeas. It was everything I had ever dreamed of and more. I had found it. The legendary land from my visions.
I took a tentative step forward, then another. I was actually here. I flopped onto the soft grass and rolled, and rolled, and rolled, trying to cover my entire body in the glorious scent of this sacred place. I rubbed my face against the leg of a stone bench. I chased a fat, lazy bumblebee. I even found a patch of catnip—catnip!—growing in the corner. The universe had provided!
I was in the middle of a blissful catnip-induced trance, batting at a ladybug, when a familiar sound drifted over the fence.
"Aki! Kitty, kitty! Aki, where are you?"
My ears swiveled. That was… Yuna? What was she doing near my secret, magical kingdom? Was she tracking me?
I crept towards the fence and peeked through the gap I'd come through. I saw the street. I saw the house with the plastic flamingo. I saw the house with the sprinkler trap. And right next to it… I saw my house. My front door was wide open, and Yuna was standing on the porch, looking frantic.
Wait a second.
I turned around and looked at the back of the house whose garden I was currently occupying. It had beige siding. A sliding glass door. A little barbecue grill on the patio. I crept along the side of the house, my mind reeling, and peered around the corner.
And there, sitting in the window, was a fluffy, pristine white cat. She stared at me, her blue eyes filled with an icy disdain that could freeze the sun. She was beautiful. An angel. A snow queen. I was instantly, hopelessly in love. I let out a charming little meow in her direction. She yawned, showing off a horrifying set of fangs, and turned her back on me.
My heart shattered into a million pieces.
Shaken, I looked past her, into the house. And I saw it. The back of Mrs. Higgins, our elderly neighbor from three doors down, sitting in her armchair, knitting.
Three. Doors. Down.
My epic quest. My perilous journey through treacherous lands, facing down monsters and traps… had been a three-block stroll down the sidewalk. My secret, magical, long-lost paradise was my neighbor's ridiculously well-maintained backyard.
I felt like a complete and utter fool.
"Aki! Oh, thank goodness!"
Yuna's voice was right behind me. Mrs. Higgins must have let her in. Yuna scooped me up, burying her face in my fur. She smelled like relief and her weird human shampoo.
"You scared me half to death! How did you even get all the way over here?" she mumbled, hugging me tight.
I didn't have the heart to tell her it was a five-minute walk. I just let out a pathetic little meow and leaned into her embrace. A hero's journey is exhausting, you know.
As she carried me home, I looked back over her shoulder. The snow queen was still in the window, now grooming a paw, pointedly ignoring my existence. The garden was still beautiful. It was a crushing, beautiful, romantic, tragic, hilarious disaster.
Back in the safety of my own domain, Yuna gave me a bowl of my favorite wet food as a 'welcome home' treat. I devoured it, then immediately made my way to the living room and hopped onto my rightful throne.
The Purr-ifier hummed its soothing song, puffing its warm, gentle clouds over my fur. It was good to be home. The Great Outside was overrated. Too much drama. Too much rejection. And not nearly enough naps.
I closed my eyes, the epic tale of my travels already becoming a legend in my mind. Maybe the journey wasn't across continents, but for a cat with tiny legs, three blocks is basically the same thing. And I knew one thing for sure: the secret garden was close. And that snooty, beautiful snow queen wasn't going to ignore me forever. My next adventure was already brewing. But first, a nap. A very, very long nap.