"Alright, shut it!" Ebara snapped, slamming the desk.
The classroom fell silent.
"Your teacher pulled off a legendary feat yesterday, and not one of you is curious how I did it?" Ebara glared, eyes scanning the kids' faces expectantly.
"Teacher, I have a question!" Mikoto raised her hand politely.
Ebara beamed. "Go ahead!"
"When you farted yesterday…"
He was ready to brag about outsmarting Kurokawa, taking him down with a single fart (Chapter 39).
But Mikoto pivoted. "Didn't you stink yourself out?"
"o((⊙﹏⊙))o???"
I was ready to flex, and you ask that?
The kids turned into curious gremlins, eyes wide, waiting for his answer.
Even goody-two-shoes Minato leaned in, all ears.
Ebara, cornered, said, "It was a small one, and Kurokawa sucked it all up."
The kids nodded, enlightened.
"Look at Teacher Ebara's regret—he must've tried to inhale it himself," one said.
"Savage! Teacher Ebara's too savage. Outdoing genius jonin like Orochimaru and Jiraiya with that move," another chimed.
"Genius jonin? When it comes to savage, no one beats Ebara!"
"Remember his last self-praise? We can remix it."
"At the peak of the savage path, Ebara stands alone!"
"No Ebara, no savage—eternal night on the savage road!"
Ebara's face darkened.
Why do these kids always derail?
"Uchiha Mikoto, stop stealing the spotlight. Give others a chance," Ebara said, waving her down.
Mikoto sat with a smug grin, eerily like Ebara's own.
"Anyone else with a serious question?" Ebara growled, emphasizing "serious."
"Teacher, I got one!" Choza raised his hand.
Ebara's eyes lit up. Choza was honest—surely no nonsense.
"Ask away, Choza. I'll answer thoroughly," Ebara said.
Choza stood, pointing. "Teacher, your zipper's down… for easier farting?"
The other thirty-four kids glanced down.
Sure enough, Ebara's fly was open.
The classroom exploded in laughter, nearly blowing the roof off.
Ebara lost it.
The zipper's in front! What's that got to do with farting? You're the one full of hot air!
Thirty-six kids, and not one normal.
"Dai, how's it going?" Ebara asked, leaving the ninja school after morning classes, spotting Might Dai.
Dai's face glowed, clearly riding high.
"Eh, so-so…" Dai said, grinning sheepishly.
So-so? Then why the goofy grin?
Ebara rolled his eyes. "Ramen time. Too lazy to cook today."
"Sorry, I've got a mission at noon," Dai said, still grinning.
"What mission? Cat-catching? Dog-walking?"
"A picnic with her."
"No way! You two are official?" Ebara gaped.
Dai scratched his head, shy. "Official? Well, she said she wants our son named Kai."
Son named Kai? That's as good as married!
Ebara groaned. "Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to hurt me."
Dai was moving at rocket speed.
Did Sato Shizuka like bushy brows and big eyes?
How else did they get to baby names so fast?
"Don't get me wrong," Dai said.
"Wrong about what?"
"I didn't mean to rub it in."
"Then what?"
"I need a joke to make her laugh."
"You're not rubbing it in? Get lost!" Ebara snapped.
But Dai's persistence won out.
"Why ask me for jokes?" Ebara asked.
Dai, honest as ever, said, "The village says you're a walking joke!"
Ebara: …
"Get lost" stuck in his throat, but he held back.
He had a better idea.
Ebara counted on his fingers. "Wolf, tiger, lion play a game. Who gets eliminated?"
Dai shook his head. "No clue."
"The wolf!"
"Why?"
"Because Momotaro (eliminates the wolf)!"
Dai frowned. "That's not funny."
Ebara, deadpan, said, "Your problem. I told this to tons of girls—they all roared."
"Really?" Dai looked skeptical.
"Totally. Your humor's just lacking," Ebara teased.
After hesitating, Dai bought it. "Alright, I'll try it."
He turned to leave.
Ebara followed sneakily. "Hurt me, huh? This lame joke'll freeze you both. Love? Dream on."
He trailed Dai to the village outskirts.
The open fields were refreshing.
Soon, he spotted Sato Shizuka, smiling at Dai.
Not stunning, but warm, like a spring breeze.
"Dai's got taste," Ebara thought. "But how does someone like her produce Kai?"
Dai's genes were too wild.
"Are you tired?" Shizuka asked gently.
"Not at all. Training's way harder. Seeing you wipes out any fatigue," Dai said, earnest.
His sweet talk stunned Ebara.
Since when did Dai get so smooth?
Shizuka echoed Ebara's thought. "When did you learn to talk like that?"
"My bro Ebara. He says this to girls, and they love it," Dai said.
"Oh, he must be fun," Shizuka said.
"Yeah, he's smart. Just…"
"Just what?"
"He looks human but isn't!" Dai said.