Stiles leans against the couch arm, smirking as he eyes the TV screen.
"Oh wow. You're actually 'watching' that? Really? Is this, like, a crime scene reenactment for how painfully slow your life decisions are?"
He grabs a bag of chips from behind the couch—because of course he was hiding snacks—and plops down way too close.
"C'mon. At least insult my intelligence with something flashy. Explosiony. Something where people die dramatically while saying one-liners. I dunno… maybe it'd match your energy?"
"You're insufferable," Aria says throwing him a quick glance. "Don't you have better things to do then disturb my bubble?"
"Insufferable? That's a big word coming from the likes of you."
He grabs a chip from the bag and pops it in his mouth, chewing obnoxiously while he grins at her, amused to know he's getting a reaction. A reaction that he finds amusing and oddly attractive.
"Well, you see, Aria.. I'm currently bored and the only source of entertainment is you. Isn't that just exciting?"
"Nope, not really... I'd rather play a game of Russian Roulette with a loaded gun," she snarled clearly not amused.
He chuckles at that, leaning back against the couch, watching her with a smirk that says he knows he's starting to get on her nerves.
"Oh, the sass. The attitude. I think it's kinda cute."
He steals another chip from the bag and pops it in his mouth, crunching obnoxiously.
"God can you be any louder? Even pigs have better manners..."
Stiles grins as Aria snaps at him, his eyes gleaming with mischief. He pops yet another chip in his mouth, chewing extra obnoxiously loud at her comment, because he's just that petty. After he swallows, his smirk widens.
"What can I say? It's not often I get under someone's skin this much. It's kind of hilarious how worked up I can get you. It's kinda fun, actually."
"Maybe I should tattle on you like a five-year old." He was getting on her nerves, and he knew it. She knew it.
He bursts into laughter, a loud and hearty sound that fills the room. he leans back, still chuckling, shaking his head in amusement.
"Tattle to who? My dad? Pfft, good luck with that. He's used to my shenanigans."
He reaches into the bag and pops another chip into his mouth, looking thoroughly entertained by her annoyance.
"Oh, I'm aware of that... but I'm just wondering what Lydia would say about it...."
His hand freezes halfway to his mouth, the chip suspended in mid-air. His smirk falters—just slightly—and he slowly turns his head to look at her, eyes narrowing with a mix of suspicion and mock offense.
"Ohhh. So that's how it's gonna be? Playing dirty now, are we?"
He lowers the chip but doesn't eat it yet, studying her with a new kind of intensity—one that's half irritation, half impressed spite.
"You're sneaky. I'll give you that. But just so you know… Lydia already knows exactly what kind of delightful chaos I am on a daily basis. And she still tolerates me."
Stiles takes an exaggerated bite and chews slowly. "So really... your threat is more like mild background noise at this point. But hey—respect for going for the jugular. That takes guts… or terrible survival instincts. Either way—point for you."
She jumped up from the couch. "Argh...." She threw a mid serious tantrum. "So intolerable!" Aria rushed off only to smack into a silently observing Scott.
All this time Scott's been watching the spectacle with entertained eyes, enjoying the show of her little tantrum. Then, as Aria rushes off and slams smack into Scott, he bursts into a fit of laughter that he can't contain.
"Holy crap! Did you see that?!"
Stiles turns to look at his friend, who's been silently standing there like a ghost
"Dude! Why were you creeping?!"
"I was curious to see how it would play out," Scott says still laughing.
He snickers and gestures towards Aria, who looks thoroughly flustered by her collision with Scott.
"Well, I'd say it played out pretty well. She might get embarrassed when she realizes you were there the whole time," he grins mischievously, thoroughly entertained by the unfolding events.
"Seems like you've made it your hobby to get under her skin?" Scott asked rhetorically.
Stiles leans back on the couch, tossing the chip bag onto the coffee table with a dramatic flourish.
"Me? Get under her skin? Never. I'm just an innocent bystander caught in the tornado of her melodrama," grins at Scott, eyes sparkling with mischief before he adds in a mock-whisper. "But seriously—have you seen how fun it is when she snaps? Like a time bomb with bangs and bad moods. I'm doing everyone a public service by testing her patience. You know… for science. And possibly even because I enjoy watching her face turn red. Don't judge me."
"You're a terrible brother," Scott mocked even though he knows that his friend would never call Aria his sister.
He scoffs dramatically in mock outrage, his hand flying to his chest like the accusation is a personal affront.
"Terrible brother? How dare you! I'm the most exemplary sibling anyone could ask for. I'm like the epitome of brotherly love," pauses for a beat, then adds with a smirk: "Okay, yeah, that's a lie. But in my defense, it's fun. And she makes it really easy to tease her." Stiles stifles a snort of laughter at the absurdity of it all.
"Seems like you've forgot to mention this time around that she's not my sister, or was that intentionally withheld?" Scott asked wide eyed.
Stiles freezes mid-laugh, eyes widening slightly as Scott's words hit him like a rogue Nerf dart to the face. He blinks once. Then again.
"Oh...."
A long pause. He slowly turns his head toward Scott, expression shifting from playful to something dangerously close to mortified.
"Wait… I didn't—did I just—" His voice drops into a horrified whisper. "…refer to her as my sister?"
He scrambles off the couch like he's been electrocuted, running a hand through his buzz cut in panic.
"No no no no—Scott, I swear that was not intentional! That was… um… sarcasm! Yeah! Satirical commentary on our totally nonexistent familial bond! A joke! Dark humor! Haha... Not an admission of anything resembling actual brother-sister energy!"
"I don't have sibling feelings! That would be weird and gross because she's kind of hot when she's mad and—"
He claps both hands over his mouth mid-confession, eyes bulging at what almost slipped out.
"...I need to go. Now."
Dashes toward the door before he can dig himself any deeper into that emotional sinkhole.
Scott laughed as he followed Stiles out the house. They climbed into the jeep and made a beeline in no particular direction.
Stiles grips the steering wheel with a white-knuckled grip, his face still burning with embarrassment.
"Dude, you can't tell anyone about this. I mean it. Especially not her. If she finds out that I accidentally referred to her as my sister, I'll never live it down. My dignity cannot withstand that kind of humiliation!" Glances over at Scott, eyes pleading for his silence.
"Promise me. Cross your heart. Swear on your favorite pair of sneakers. I need something here, man."
He lifts his hands in surrender. "Okay, okay—cool it bro, I promise on my life that your secret is safe with me."
Sighs in relief, tension visibly leaving him as he relaxes into the driver's seat. He shoots Scott a grateful smile before focusing on the road again.
"Thank god. You're a lifesaver, Scotty-boy," pauses, tapping his fingers on the wheel thoughtfully.
"But, uh... quick question. Did it seem like I meant it? Like, even a little bit? You know… like I might subconsciously have... brotherly feelings towards her. That would just be ridiculous, right?" He gives a strained laugh, avoiding eye contact.
Scott scoffed before saying what he knew without a doubt his friend wanted to hear. "Oh off course, absolutely ridiculous."
He lets out a long breath, shoulders relaxing as Scott confirms what he so desperately wants to believe.
"Phew. Okay. Good. Ridiculous. Totally ridiculous."
He starts drumming his fingers on the steering wheel again, trying to act casual and failing—because of course he's thinking about it now.
"I mean… I hate her mom moving in with my dad and all that jazz… but Aria herself? She's just… there. Like an annoying lamp that can't be unseen," he glances at Scott, then quickly adds: "And not hot! When she's mad! Definitely not hot! That would be—I don't know—biologically inappropriate or something."
"...Wait, does that make sense?" Groans and smacks his forehead lightly against the steering wheel at a red light.
"Why is everything suddenly so complicated?"
"Stiles nothing is complicated, you're making it complicated," Scott says.
He groans and lifts his head off the steering wheel, staring at the red light like it's somehow to blame for his emotional turmoil.
"Easy for you to say. You're the one in a stable, loving relationship. I'm stuck here trying to figure out why I can't stop thinking about a girl I literally can't stand," slumps slightly in his seat, looking like a pouting puppy.
"It's unfair, is what it is."
"So what you're saying is that yours and Lydia's relationship is unstable?" Scott asked with an arched brow.
Jerks so hard in his seat that his elbow knocks against the window, eyes flying wide open like Scott just dropped a truth grenade.
"Wait—what?! Who said anything about Lydia?! We're not even—I mean, there's no—we're not in a relationship! We're just… bantering partners! With benefits of sarcasm and eye contact!" His voice cracks slightly on the last part, and he clears his throat like he can cough up his dignity.
"And for the record—Lydia is… strategically out of reach. Like a rare artifact behind glass. Dangerous to touch. Probably cursed. I am 100%, completely over her.... Mostly," glances at Scott, then mutters under his breath: "Okay fine—maybe I'm emotionally entangled with someone who could end me with a single glance. But that's beside the point! The point is Aria! And how she's infuriating and loud and always stealing my snacks when she thinks I'm not looking—" suddenly pauses, brow furrowing.
"...Wait. Why do I notice that?" Turns to Scott with growing horror. "Scott. I think I might be in trouble."
"You figured that much out only now? Seems like your sister is messing with your brain too!" Scott snickers.
He slaps a hand to his forehead in exaggerated distress, groaning dramatically before glaring in mock indignation.
"Scott! How could you? We were bonding over our shared annoyance with Aria! We had a moment, man! And then you went and ruined it by pointing out the obvious, which I was clearly struggling to acknowledge!" Pouts slightly, then adds in a grumble: "But also? She can be really annoying. Her voice gets obnoxiously high when she's mad. And she's stubborn. And she never shuts up."
"...Oh god. I'm paying too much attention."
Scott makes a zipper motion with his fingers over his lips. Clearly outspoken.
Stiles watches Scott mime zipping his lips, then rolls his eyes with a mix of annoyance and resignation.
"Oh, great. You're just gonna enjoy watching me suffer, aren't you? Well, thanks a lot, buddy. I thought friends were supposed to help each other through emotional crises, not silently revel in their misery."
He grumbles and crosses his arms over his chest, slumping back into the driver's seat, "I swear, I'm never telling you anything ever again."
Scott mimed jingling the keys to his locked lips before playfully throw it out of the jeeps open window.
He stares at the spot where Scott threw the imaginary keys, mouth dropping open in exaggerated betrayal.
"You did NOT just throw the key to your locked lips out the window! That's irreversible! Do you know how many secrets I've entrusted to those lips?! My entire emotional vulnerability budget!" He clutches at his chest like he's been fatally wounded.
"And now they're unsealed. Unhinged. Free to spill my deepest fears and accidental sibling confessions into the wild like some kind of emotional supervillain!" Glances sideways with narrowed eyes and a smirk tugging at his lips despite himself.
"You're lucky you're my best friend, McCall. Otherwise I'd make you regret that. Now hand over a new key. Or at least promise not to tell Aria I find her weirdly attractive when she's yelling about my lack of respect for personal space."
"...Wait—no. Scratch that. Don't even say it out loud," gags dramatically. "Ugh, this is so messed up."
Scott couldn't help himself but to burst out in bubbles of laughter, clutching at his stomach.
Stiles purses his lips in an irritated line as Scott explodes into laughter, feeling a mix of annoyance and fondness for his friend. He lets out an exaggerated sigh, feigning annoyance, "Oh, I'm so glad my emotional torment is providing you with endless entertainment, Scott. You know, you could at least try to be helpful instead of just sitting there cackling at my personal crisis!"
Stiles attempts to maintain his annoyed expression, but the corners of his mouth keep twitching upwards. "Damn you and that infectious laugh."