An awkward silence filled the air.
Koharu Utatane glared angrily at her old teammate. Was this really the time for that?
Tsunade couldn't help but laugh, waving her hand at the two elders. "Alright, alright. I'm not joking. We're informing you."
"..."
Koharu stumbled slightly, suppressing her anger as she tried to reason with them again. "Tsunade, what the village needs is a leader who can inspire confidence..."
"Is that so..." The blonde kunoichi scratched her hair. "If my support and Jiraiya's isn't enough to satisfy the village, then let's just have my great-grandfather and his brother step in. The two of them should be able to convince everyone, right?"
This was purely a joke.
But the two elders knew her personality. They couldn't be sure she wouldn't actually do something like that. Konoha needed to hide the news about the former Hokage being back, not expose them and cause even more instability.
Koharu frowned. "Tsunade, if you insist on making this brat the Fifth Hokage, then let him start handling the village's political affairs now! We've just received a report from the Land of Wind concerning the new Fifth Kazekage's actions. If he can't handle it properly..."
Compared to Hiruzen Sarutobi and Danzo Shimura, Koharu's strategic mind wasn't as sharp, but an elder always has their own methods. If Naruto couldn't handle the situation with the Land of Wind, she could pressure Tsunade or Jiraiya into temporarily serving as Hokage instead.
Naruto was only thirteen; he could wait a few more years. Danzo Shimura, buried just today, was almost seventy. He had yearned for the Hokage position his entire life, yet died without ever touching the hat.
"That's fine, too," Tsunade said, ruffling Naruto's hair. "After all, who hasn't made a few mistakes when they were young?"
"..."
Those words were infuriating. With a single sentence, Tsunade had completely blocked Koharu's plan.
"Alright."
Naruto Uzumaki, the subject of this whole affair, finally spoke. He looked up and said calmly, "You don't need to worry. Granny Tsunade and Pervy Sage will help me with the political stuff. I'm just a ninja responsible for dealing with enemies."
Koharu explained awkwardly, "Naruto, that's not what we mean, but you don't understand the village's situation. Your father was the Fourth Hokage. If you become the Fifth, it will look like the son is simply inheriting the position from his father. Why not let Jiraiya or Tsunade serve as the Fifth Hokage? After Konoha gets through this crisis and you've grown up, you can take the position of the Sixth..."
If Naruto were twenty, Koharu would have absolutely no objection. In fact, she would support him becoming Hokage with both hands. The Fourth Hokage was a brilliant predecessor, and his even more outstanding son clearly wouldn't be much worse.
Unfortunately, Naruto was only thirteen. Forget handling the Hokage's political duties; he didn't even have experience as a chunin squad leader.
"Let me see the report from the Land of Wind." Naruto ignored her words, simply holding out his hand. "Granny Tsunade and Pervy Sage support me becoming Hokage. I won't let them down."
"...Fine." Koharu gave him a deep look and handed a scroll from her desk to him, promising softly, "If you can handle this matter, Homura and I will not stand in your way anymore."
"Thank you."
"If you can't solve it..." Koharu glanced at Tsunade and Jiraiya before continuing, "Even if my words don't carry much weight, I will still oppose a thirteen-year-old child from taking the Hokage's seat."
"Ok."
The young genin just nodded indifferently, opening the scroll to look at the tricky problem sent by the intelligence ninja.
During the Third Great Ninja War, the Sand Village, thinking it had built up enough strength, was the first to start a war with Konoha, only to be beaten soundly at Kikyo Pass. Unable to resist Konoha's attack, they quickly surrendered. This was a great source of shame for the Land of Wind's daimyo.
He threw so much military funding at them every year, and for what? Even Pakkun knew how to bark a few times, yet the Sand Village couldn't even put up a decent fight. What was the use of supporting them?
For this reason, the Land of Wind's daimyo gave all his missions directly to Konoha, which also became a term of the Sand's post-war surrender.
Rasa became Kazekage during this downturn. He used his Magnet Release kekkei genkai to gather gold dust, single-handedly reviving the Sand Village's economy and making it the second-strongest in the entire ninja world.
Who would have thought that after biding its time again, the Sand Village would be used by Orochimaru in the Konoha Crush plan? The Fourth Kazekage, Rasa, was even turned into a puppet. They could only surrender unconditionally to Konoha once more. This time, they were so poor that even Konoha didn't know how to exploit them.
Perhaps there was a silver lining to being completely broke.
Or you could just call it giving up entirely.
Having lost Rasa's gold-gathering technique, the village's financial situation was dire. It was difficult to even maintain their elite ninja forces. But if they disbanded their forces, the Sand Village's status in the ninja world would plummet, and they might even become a vassal state.
At that point, not only would the Stone Village be eyeing them greedily from the north, but even the Rain Village could bite off a large chunk of their territory.
Thus, the newly appointed Fifth Kazekage, Gaara, made a decision: to restart negotiations with the Land of Wind's daimyo, demanding that he entrust missions to the Sand Village and provide sufficient military funds.
True to his violent upbringing, Gaara didn't take the daimyo's refusal well and assassinated two of his officials. The Land of Wind's daimyo had no choice but to send a letter to Konoha, requesting aid.
The daimyo of the great Land of Wind would rather trust Konoha than his own village's Kazekage. Wasn't that a massive insult?
Naruto let out a light laugh and looked up. "If an ally won't listen, then why keep them around?"
"But the Sand Village is, after all, one of the great ninja villages..."
"And what good are they?"
"..."
Koharu Utatane was actually unable to answer.
What good were the Sand ninjas? In every great war, they were the first to jump in and the first to surrender. They looked completely spineless. Their only real military achievement was probably in the Second Great Ninja War, where they repelled an invasion from Hanzo of the Salamander and fought to a standstill with Konoha and the Stone Village. Afterwards, the Sand ninjas basically died just to make Konoha's White Fang famous.
Thinking about it carefully, the only thing the Sand Village ever did for Konoha was act as a stepping stone. They used their failures to make Konoha look stronger, showing the world that Konoha wasn't to be trifled with—that they could casually send one squad to defeat a great ninja village like the Sand.
"I'm going to go with Granny Tsunade to check on Sasuke's injuries first." Naruto put away the intelligence scroll and said softly, "A little later, I'll make a trip to the Land of Wind. It just so happens I have a score to settle with the new Kazekage."
After saying this, Naruto added one more thing. "You can start preparing for the Fifth Hokage's succession ceremony. When I return from the Land of Wind, I don't want to find anyone else in charge of this office."
-----
Bonus:
Naruto: So tell me, what good is the Sand Village?
Gaara: We can be your little brothers!
Naruto: Yeah, but what can you do?
Gaara: We can be your little brothers!
Naruto: I get that, but how does that help us?
Gaara: We're Konoha's little brothers. Don't you think that makes you look good?
Naruto: Heh...