Darkness.
Absolute, consuming darkness.
This was not the shadow of an ordinary day's end, but the void itself: dense, inert, heavy on the soul, pressing on my chest and skull as if to crush them. I could see only scattered, lonely sparks of light, like fragments of a newly shattered universe, caught between annihilation and existence. I was sinking into it, or perhaps it was sinking into me.
I felt myself drowning—not in water, but in the weight of the eternal abyss. My body was cold lead, pulling me toward a bottomless end.
Deeper...
Deeper...
Deeper...
Here, in the depths of that shapeless, soundless, airless blackness, my consciousness began to melt like a thin thread. The pain that had ripped me apart the moment of the engulfment faded into a cold numbness, close to surrender. Suddenly, a cry from my buried soul pierced the silence:
"LOUYAN!"
It was my own voice—a last-ditch scream of existence that shook the debris of nothingness from me. "Huh... Where am I?"
I can't breathe. The terrible pain returned to strike fiercely, and my body was heavier, but something deeper than the pain screamed inside me a single word, repeated like a relentless, feverish pulse: "Live... Live!"
I need to ascend, to the surface. Survival is mandatory.
"Come on! Come on! Please, my body, endure... carry me up!"
It was a terrifying struggle, not just against drowning, but against turning into nothing. I began to swim—swimming upward toward the distant sparks, toward any illusion of light, fighting the weight and the vacuum, and wondering: Are they with me? Did anyone survive?
The light drew nearer, but it wasn't warm; it was fiercely, brutally white... Then the thread of darkness snapped.
Ice... It was a surface of ice, solid, opaque, like a thick wall separating my salvation from my death, an unconquerable barrier.
I was terrified! No, no, no, please... Genuine panic ripped through me.
How? How do I escape now?! I need to survive! I feel a terrible pressure, an immense weight pressing on my lungs as if it's breaking my ribs.
Something sharp... that was the only thought my desperate consciousness called for.
I need something sharp!
I need something sharp... but where would I get it? Where?! I need to calm down! Please, I need to calm down... I closed my consciousness for a moment, thinking...
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"Happy birthday, Louyan!" everyone said, their voices warm and cheerful, looking at me with that old affection that fills the heart with nostalgia.
"Make a wish and blow out the candle, come on!" Meliss said with overwhelming joy, urging me with her endearing, childish persistence.
I looked at the cake to see the candles indicating my fourteenth birthday. Wait! What? Why can't I move? Is this a dream? Or a moment from my memory? What about the drowning and the wall of ice?! As if it no longer belonged to me, I smiled calmly at them as I leaned in, made a wish, and blew out the candles.
"Now, time for presents!" Yuna said, holding a gift in her hand, her eyes sparkling with anticipation.
"Wait, me first! Me first! Louyan, open mine first!" Meliss said with wild excitement, and Yuna and Evan laughed at her enthusiasm, while the rest sighed with satisfied, loving smiles.
Wait! That gift! Why don't I remember it? I have a strong memory, so I should remember it! I watched my younger self open the gift with joy... Then...
"A keychain?" I wondered, looking at it with a mixture of confusion and slight disappointment.
No! No! That's not an ordinary keychain! I felt my body tremble, and my breath about to run out, suddenly, my heart rate soared wildly.
"It's not just an ordinary keychain, Louyan! Press that button over there, there!" Meliss said, pointing to my younger self, and as soon as I pressed it, an extremely sharp, shining, and deadly blade shot out. I was momentarily surprised, a strange shock gripping me.
"It's a blade I made! It's so sharp, so don't touch it with your fingers! It's for those moments... If someone dares to hurt you, take it out! One stab and they're done!" Meliss explained enthusiastically, looking at my excited self, while the eyes of the others held looks of strange doubt and confusion, and suppressed worry.
"Luca! For heaven's sake! What kind of gift is this?! For your information, no one dares to hurt Louyan, and I'm definitely not cleaning up your messes!" Luca yelled with a serious look, his tone carrying clear blame, looking at me and Meliss.
"And Louyan has many friends, I don't think he has enemies..." Liam said, looking at Meliss with a calm but very meaningful gaze.
"I know that, but it's for precaution... That's why I always wanted it for you, Louyan..." Meliss's gentle voice became further and further away, gradually fading, until I couldn't hear it, as if her lips were moving without sound. And the image before me shattered suddenly and terrifyingly. Water filled everywhere, pressing, crushing... until I opened my eyes quickly.
Yes! Yes! The blade! The blade! My hand moved unconsciously, fumbling in my pockets, while I prayed internally for it to be there! Suddenly, I felt something solid! A strange, pure joy, mixed with hope, flooded me. I felt my adrenaline level had spiked to the maximum! Then I quickly pulled it out, pressed the button, and the sharp blade emerged. I looked at the wall, filling my soul with a plea: Please, shatter it!
Please! With all the remaining strength in my hand, I gripped it, clinging to it as if it were the last thing connecting me to life, and struck the wall hard! It made a crack! Then I repeated it once, twice, thrice, four times! I didn't know where that brutal strength came from, the power of the will to survive! I didn't notice that the water around me had turned dark red from my blood. All that was on my mind now was breaking it and surviving. And that moment arrived! The wall shattered now! I reached out my hand, grasped its edge, and pulled myself up... to take my first breath...
Then—a tremendous gasp. It was the first true breath since the journey began: air filling my lungs with its painful sweetness, a cold that burned me then eased, consciousness returning me to the world.
Oh, that's what I thought... The air wasn't cold; it was extremely, suspiciously hot, so much so that I felt it was suffocating me. I opened my eyes, which I didn't know when I had closed, and found myself seeing a scene my mind couldn't comprehend.
"Ooh... Ooh..." I muttered in suppressed astonishment and terror. There was a volcano... no, not just one! But my surroundings were filled with volcanoes! My mind and consciousness stopped working, as if what I was seeing couldn't enter my brain... No, my consciousness couldn't grasp or believe it. I shuddered for a moment, that first tremor of disbelief.
Then I looked back at the ground I was sitting on, as if I wanted to confirm something... It was ice! Then I looked at my surroundings; it was filled with volcanoes. I looked again... twice... thrice, trying hard to find a contradiction or a visual error, but the hot scene refused to leave, while the coldness of the ice beneath my feet increased my suspicion to madness. "How... how can this happen together?" I whispered, my voice barely a breath, my eyes narrowing with deep suspicion and a desperate attempt to understand.
Then I looked at the ground, specifically at my crimson blood dripping from my hand, and at my fingers that had turned pale and white as snow.
"I have to get out of here..." I mumbled to myself with difficulty, the words stumbling in my exhausted throat. I tried to stand up, and as soon as I straightened, I fell to the ground, a feeling of sharp disappointment squeezing my heart. Then I tried again, and fell a second time. My muscles spasmed and screamed in excruciating pain, and every attempt was like a new stab.
"Ah... Ooh... Ah..." The sound of my ragged breaths mixed with the moan of pain I couldn't suppress. My vision was blurry, and my body was shivering. I wondered lost: Is it the bitter cold of the ice or the heat of the nearby volcanoes?
I looked to the side, where a small patch of solid ground separated the ice from the volcanoes. I took a deep breath, realizing with painful certainty: If I can't stand, I have to crawl to get there. Step by trembling step, as if my body was rebelling against my will. I looked at the goal... I was about to reach it. "One step... Please, one step..." I whispered to myself, my eyes catching hope in the slight distance ahead of me.
"Reached..." I whispered with indescribable exhilaration, as I touched the normal ground, neither hot nor cold, just "normal" ground...
It was normal! Feelings of joy and serenity flooded my body, and I surrendered to it, resting on that small haven.
"Oh... Ah... Ooh..." I was just breathing, deeply and calmly. My consciousness was quiet and clear, and the pain in my body had lessened slightly.
I didn't think of anything else, as if it were a mandatory break granted to me by my exhausted body. But the worry knocked on my mind again: Where are they? I looked at my hand, still bleeding. "I must stand up, I must look for them!" But suddenly, as if my body decided for itself, my eyes closed and I surrendered to a deep slumber that completely swallowed me.
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".... an..." A mysterious whisper echoed in the void... What... What is this?
".... uyan?" Another voice slightly raised... Someone is calling me? These voices I know well, they shake my entire consciousness.
"Louyan, can you hear me?"
"HAAAAAAA!"
I took a strong gasp as I opened my eyes. Did I sleep? When did I sleep? Or did I faint? I looked around, and found the same nerve-wracking scene, so I ignored it. When I heard the voice again, I turned around to look for its source.
"LOUYAANN!" I heard it, it's Yuna's scream, but from whe— I remembered! I quickly turned to my fingers, which were now covered in red, and raised my hand, looking at the ring—the friendship ring we exchanged at age ten. It was black, shaped like a cat's head, and the voices were coming from it. I remembered we asked Evan to invent communication devices that connected us through it. I sighed with joy.
And I said in a tone of overwhelming happiness, momentarily forgetting what I had been through:
"Guys... I'm here." I said amidst my shivers, hoping they could hear me.
"Louyan!" Liam yelled in a shaky tone.
"Step back a bit, Liam. Oh my god, it's good you heard us, are you okay? We've been talking to you for over half an hour!" Meliss said in a worried tone.
"Meliss, sit down; your foot still hasn't healed!" Liam yelled at her in a serious tone. I wondered internally: "Foot?"
"My nerves were about to fail. Oh, thank you, thank you for being okay." Yuna said in a trembling tone, as if she was about to cry.
"Oh, you worried us; I felt my blood dry up from fear for you, you idiot!" Evan yelled in a trembling tone mixed with worry, his voice carrying a hidden reproach.
"Louyan, I'm sorry... I'm so sorry. If I... if I had noticed you sooner, we wouldn't have been separated from you." Alain said, and I felt him crying on the other end, so I quickly said:
"No... it's okay; it was my fault for letting go of your hand, so don't cry, okay? Now, where are you? I'm alone here." I said, reassuring him, then wondered: "Where am I, and where are they?"
"Alright, Louyan, first of all, are you okay? Are you injured? Answer me honestly." Meliss said worriedly, addressing me in a strict tone, as if trying to control the situation.
"Ah, except for my bleeding hand and an extremely exhausted body, I'm fine." I told her, looking at the bleeding on my hand, which had lessened.
"Now, Louyan, say 'bag' out loud." Luca said in a serious, suspicious tone.
Bag I wondered for a moment, then said a little loudly:
"Bag!"
No sooner had I said it than a red and black backpack, resembling a travel bag, fell to the ground. I looked at it, knowing it wasn't strange; this bag is mine, the bag I bought for travel two years ago. But how...!
"Louyan, I know what you're thinking, but don't ask how right now! Open it, I know it contains medical supplies—I'm the one who arranged them. Reach into the right pocket." Yuna said in a strict tone mixed with worry. I collected myself and opened it, finding all the items I had packed for travel. I reached my hand in according to her instructions; I didn't know she had put medicine for me here. It was bandages and a large assortment of medicines and disinfectants. I sighed with slight relief, tending to my hand wound and cleaning it.