CHRISLEY
Closing the door to my office the hustle and bustle of the hospital was consumed by complete silence. The silence i yearn for when i am at home, the silence i believe is true therapy. What separates me from the complete silence i want is the clock on the wall. I would never dream of putting it down for it has been in this very same room for generations,yes i am one of the people who believed in the cliché theory of this clock helping every therapist that has ever worked in this office,besides it looks good with the mahogany desk and the bookshelf. They say this very same clock on the wall provides people with a sense of comfort and belonging , my theory behind that is our brains just adapt to anything whether true or false. Whatever myth they said i go with it. I finally make my way to my chair and i take a deep breath and spare a minute to stare at my wife photo frame that sits at the corner of my desk. Amelia , she smiles as beautifully as she used to be back in the days. I remember when i took this picture , back when things were still beautiful between us, before things became as fucked up as they are right now.
I find solace in this very same room. I am untouchable in these walls , very confident. I am always reminded of why i pursued psychiatry every time i enter this room ,partially because i have found cracking peoples thoughts to be quite fascinating and because of past trauma only i can try heal from. Its not because i care about people and their mental health believe me i am the most selfish person ive ever encountered . I have never told anyone why and i do not plan on telling either way.
"sigh"
Today is Thursday and unlike all other days i am less busy and i get to enjoy my time cracking cases and basking in the silence this room provides. I attend to four patients today , all with interesting cases but one case has my attention than the most. I do not know how do describe her,whether i have a positive or a negative feeling about her . from what i can analyze se seems innocent but there is a underlying hint of cunning aura around her. we have shared silence in this room and she has never said anything. I guess thats her form of therapy . It is an attribute i find most attractive about her but a disadvantage because if i am not able to read her thoughts then i cannot crack her case . I like a challenge myself though. I enjoy the silence she offers and to think that such a young girl would hold such heavy aura is very interesting. She looks like she is capable of murder and she can get away with it without getting caught,her eyes say so. Its like she needs to be here but she does not want to be here. She has never told me her name but i know it very well. Surlem, a wonderful name to call. I am not going to lie and say i do not like having her around because i dread for her sessions, always expecting her face as she walks in my office ,drained of life. It is not anything romantic or sexual, for now .Its just her aura calls for my name. The reckless person i am senses that its not going to be a smooth doctor patient ride but i promise to stay on my good behavior. Its already 10am, time seems slow today. She has her appointment in the afternoon and damn can i wait.
My first patient for today enters , Mrs Malyasia, a woman who tried to commit suicide after she found out that er husband was cheating on her.Personally i do not sympathize with suicide patience i believe they are cowards and this woman is one of them , using her cheating husband as a excuse to end her life. I fake a smile as she enters and as soon as she takes a seat she cries as usual.I give her space to cry because i do not get paid to pitty people. The day becomes less or more boring but alas the time i was waiting for has arrived. i check the clock and only a minute left before she comes, my heart throbs , i cannot explain this feeling , whether its more or less of dread but whatever i became when the door opened is a completely different person. i give darkness to my wife frame in the same second as she walks in, all marriage promises being put aside.
As she walks in i take my time to look at her. She looks the same as she was two sessions ago,her face expressionless,dressed elegantly, i did hear she comes from an aristocratic family. Shes in a chouffon dress that leaves her cleavage out to imagine how her breasts look like.Her red lipstick makes her look like Lucifer's daughter as well as the heels. I look at my favorite feature , her jet black her cascades to her waist that would look good on my hand as i pound her to ecstasy . She knows the power she has as a lady. i can tell by the what she looks at me, slight smirk , a challenging glare which im willing to indulge in. She sits on the sofa and stares into nothingness as usual , my insides smile, she offers the same silence i like. I sit back down and stare at the ceiling enjoying the silence that she offers. I look at her again, her expression shows nothing but lust for revenge , hidden turmoil which she is very silled at hiding . I have never felt happy for a patient before but she makes me feel like my job has a meaning, like all the millions in my account mean something.
"its too loud"
before i could wonder what her voice sounds like she broke the silence. I am shocked , i mask it with a neutral expression but i know she saw right trough me. my lips form a hard line. I do not know how to feel, whether i should be happy i heard her voice , or feel the agony of her breaking the silence between us, the silence that was very beautiful. My eyes are glued to her forgetting to answer her until she breaks the silence again
" that clock on the wall, its too loud"
silence again
" and old" she adds
" and ugly"
I adjust my sitting position and i face the clock before lookimg at her and deciding to answer
" it has been in this very room for generations, since the very first therapist that sat in this room, it brings peace"she remains silent but long overdue she answers
" you look young, too young to be beleiving this bullshit , cliche folklores like these doc , to think i saw you as the one with brains between us" she whispers the last part . i rest my back on my chair and put my hands on my chin.
" well since now we know youre not mute and you can open that pretty little mouth of yours how about you use it for useful things like telling me what happened on the 28th of May, the reason that led you to my office today" she crosses her leg her pretty thighs coming out to play, she glares at me then smiles
" i like it here"
"definetly " i add sarcasm seeping through
" Sarcasm suits you very well doc, but i am not saying anything about that day. i do not want to talk of it" her statent is faint and it carries a bit of vulnerability in it. She gets lost in her own world , i would say she is replaying the scene in her head like its a movie. I use this to my advantage and feast my eyes on te elegant beauty. Her usual stoic expression is her trying to look fearless but deep down she is scared . She looks young at age but not at heart , i cannot wait to unfold the hidden secrets that lie in this girl and what happened on te 28th of may. Whatever happened that day moulded the girl sitting here now. I dont want her to go back to her old ways thats for sure.
" so since were not talking about that day what should we do for the next two hours now Suu" she smirks
" Suu, i hate that name" she uncrosses her and sits up straight
" lets break hospital rules, im not your patient , youre not my doc, Doc."i look at her confusion etched in my face
" whatever do you mean" i smirk at her
her voice becomes lower and she stands up making my way to me
" exacly that " she says